Tfw 5'8" tall, but huge dick

>tfw 5'8" tall, but huge dick
>10" long and 6.5" circumference
>feelsgoodman
>h8ers gonna h8

Prove it.

>getting toilet water on your dick when shitting in a public restroom

3 inch long hard. Tfw my gf buys me underwear meant for 12 year olds

Yes I would, very much. Now show me your tiny cock.

>two layers of swimwear to prevent print and flop

>"It won't fit in my mouth."

>"I think you broke my vagina."

hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture. i really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why it's a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirtring i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk you look really nice and fun xxx please just end my shit posting existance

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>she tells everyone its too big
>they all want to see it, but nothing else

my pants are too tight

Pics or it's BS.

>when she moans from that good dick but groans because it hurts at the same time

>gf gets called 'size queen'

Here's the deal, fuckman. You and me will brawl to the death in Minecraft tomorrow to determine who gets host privileges. We will have a timer set to one hour to prepare, and then we enter combat. You will die by my hand and your ass server will go with you.

>hiding a public erection is a painful contortionist trick because head will exceed waistband

fuck you ,you fucking "dank memer". i hope you choke on your food you fat fuck. i will push you down the empire state building if i have to. i've hired a hundred snipers to hunt you down and blow your fucking head clean off. if you think i have mercy, you are DEAD WRONG. i have already bought you a grave, right inside the pacific ocean. your family will be killed too, so that nobody will ever care about you ever again. nobody will know your name. i will burn all facts about you. i want you to know that you cannot run unless you leave the goddamn earth. i will shove your last shit inside your own mouth. i know you haven't reproduced yet, you gay ass virgin. why do i want to kill you? because you are a retarded fucking asshat. i hope your last breathing moments are of you masturbating, so that i can breed you with a donkey. just kidding, as that offspring would probably be smarter than you. go ahead and paste your "navy seal copypasta" all you want, that won't protect you, you little twat. spend your last day on Sup Forums, you little shithead. how many motherfucking hours have you spent on pornhub? oh wait, i already know. if you think your safe due to your anonamousity, you are goddamn dead wrong. i know your street address, so good fucking luck hiding. you have a week left, tops. once i kill you i'll sell your steam account on the black market. you think you can store all you info on the internet. think again. i have millions of russian hackers looking at your browser history. any time you use a website the hackers will delete what you type. i have made sure everybody thinks you are a wanted fugitive by the name of "paul blart". one of my snipers see you right now. tl;dr eat fucking shit you spastic twat.

>gogurt move after ejaculation produces additional teaspoon of jizz

I was in line at the supermarket when a guy in front of me collapsed, his wife shouted "He has Hypoglycemia, bring something with sugar!". I ran to the sweets section, grabbed some snickers and gave them to him, and he said: "I know you, you are that guy from Twitch. Keep it, you need it more with all that salt"

Can I worship you?

Unfortunately because of your height no girl is going to actually see your cock. Sorry little man.

I say both. Including all of you and your frog bullshit. Fuck you and Trump and Kek and Shia. Fuck Shia for spending the time making a stupid flag, and fuck the autistic 4 chan eternal virgins who spent the time to find that flag instead of gathering the funds to visit a prostitute so they can finally know the touch of a woman. That's what all of this really boils down to. All of you and them, have never gotten laid....and you never will...so you gravitate towards a peice of shit like Trump, and you adhere to these stupid Internet games. At least Shia got all up inside Megan Fox's guts....you guys....your hand and a bottle of vaseline is all you will ever get.

Can never have sex because eventually she will want to see it and find out you where talking shit the whole time.

>for the 100th time in public urinal, "I'm not gay."

When your mom fingers your asshole and makes you shit on her chest in front of all your friends and posts it on YouTube and sends the link to your grandmother and she has a heart attack and dies and collects all her inheritance and buys a golden dildo and smacks the mailman in the face with it and now you can't get your mail anymore

>"There is no way I'm letting you put that thing anywhere near my pussy."

I see Amy Schumer as a challenge, more than anything. Here is a woman who, in every single aspect, is absolutely revolting - her exterior AND her personality - yet I can't help but wonder what would be like, to plunge balls-deep into her repeatedly.

That's right. Balls-deep. With no protection.

I won't lie, I'm extraordinarily-hard while typing this. I want to grab this... thing... and that's what Amy Schumer is, let's not delude ourselves, a "thing"... by the hips and ram mercilessly in and out of her quivering, malformed cunt with the force of a gladiatorial chariot, while she makes stupid faces and contorts orgasmically, unable to control her bodily reactions even if she wanted to.

I would erupt violently inside that corrupt and corrupting womb as though the entire fate of humanity depended on my seed penetrating the foul walls of one of her ovaries, the electrical fusion from this coupling creating the Antichrist, as our combined, guttural, Chewbacca-like roars shattered glass and walls alike around us, the house toppling down while we lay there in a filthy, disgusting mess.

Yeah. I reckon Amy Schumer does it for me.

>"If you want me to be brutally honest, there is such a thing as too big."

This x9000

>"You could try dating Hildie. She's probably big enough."

>safety requirements of high school sports eliminated possibility of most all of them

YEAH, slap it!

pussy slapping sounds (TISH TISH PWBUBUBUBUAH???!?!?!)

explanation:

Imagine the GTA V stomping animation in first person, but stomping on a set of fluffy mare crotchboobs. And they make (stock sound effect of a computer video game, with an alternating tone, with each tone increasing in frequency)

But imagine it more organic sounding, a fart sound.

Stomp on the pussy until it farts and explodes. One time an askreddit poster said that a boy puffed air into her pussy, so she shit on his face with vagina mist. That reminds me of freddiew blood shits, with the mist and shit. get it?

WHAT THE FUUUCOOOK glitch phone dubstep sounds noises from skrillex cinema remix