So im going to kill myself, but i want to know the best stream to use, i feel like twitch is too "gamey"...

So im going to kill myself, but i want to know the best stream to use, i feel like twitch is too "gamey". My gf of 3 years just broke up with me and the letter see sent me is too much to handle. The only thing getting me throught the day is Nier Automata and im almost done with it. Also, Sup Forumstards, dont do long distance relationships. They NEVER WORK.
Letter from ex-gf

(Tl;dr she thinks im fantastic but doesnt love me. Weeeee)
>Thank You
>After all we’ve experienced together and how much time we’ve devoted to one another, an hour and thirty six minute phone call wasn’t something you deserved.
>You deserved the face-to-face break-up, but I’m a terrible coward and took the phone route because I suck.
>The timing was shit awful and it seemed as if it came out of nowhere. You asked me why and I don’t think I explained very well over the phone.
>If not the face-to-face, you deserve at least this much from me. So here’s what may be my last (letter) to you.
>When I said over the phone “for about a year” (of not loving me) that meant that when I looked back at myself at that time, I realized that I started the slow slow falling out.
>It didn’t mean that I haven’t been in love with you for a year. That’s completely 100% wrong. It means that when I look into the past and try to see just where the fuck I could’ve gone so wrong, it goes back a years worth.
>When I started having doubts and when I started thinking long distance was made to not work.
>And you know I’ve had these moments, where I just didn’t think it could work anymore and then desperate, tear-filled phone calls happen and we’re ok again.
(1/3)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=wzhzkKccBi8
youtube.com/watch?v=nE6X6HGyIfE
archive.azcentral.com/community/phoenix/articles/20140307couple-found-dead-gunshot-wounds-north-phoenix-abrk.html
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

>My feelings aren’t so black and white to where I can just say “I don’t love you anymore”.
>That isn’t true, and I really shouldn’t have worded it that way but again, I suck. As cliché as it fucking sounds, I still love you, but I’m not IN love with you anymore.
>I believe in you, I worry about you, and I wish you all the happiness. But it’s different. It’s so very different. And I didn’t come to that realization until a couple days ago.
>A couple days ago I realized that I was no longer in this relationship, I no longer had the feelings to be in it. And I couldn’t stand to watch you message me all these heartfelt messages without breaking inside.
>No matter what I responded with like “I can’t wait to live together too!” or “yeah baby!” would be lying. And I just couldn’t stand that. Because you deserve more than a girl that’s lying to herself about her feelings and sending out half-hearted replies, and I deserve more than doing that to myself.
>And I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry I fell out of love user I’m so sorry.
>I wanted this to work I was excited for our future, but I can’t be in a relationship with you if my heart isn’t all there.
>And I hope you don’t think I’m unaffected by this and that I’ve just moved on. Again, my feelings aren’t so black and white. I don’t want to throw a pity party for me because what the fuck good would that do, but just know I’m not about to jump up and down for joy anytime soon.
>I also want to clarify there is no one else, there has been no thought of someone else, and I have always been completely faithful to you throughout our relationship.
(2/? I lied its more than 2 pages lol)

>A big thing that became apparent to me over our phone call was how little you valued yourself. I have always known you didn’t see yourself in the brightest light, but you never went down on yourself as hard as you did then. And I can go on and on about how much you’re worth and how you’re still standing behind that wall so you can’t possibly see all you’ve done, but I have a feeling you won’t accept them. >Instead, I really just want to thank you for things you’ve done for me in the last three years that someone that wasn’t worth anything would never do.
>Thank you for becoming my friend. I wasn’t good with the whole keeping conversations with people I don’t really know, but you managed to break through my wall.
>Thank you for still being my friend after D-Day (our horrible first date that was awkward and awful).
>Thank you for always listening to me in high school when we were with our friends. I wasn’t the most outspoken in our group but you always seemed to hear my one-liners and laughed.
>Thank you for holding my hand all those times before we started dating.
>Thank you for sending me all those love song lyrics.
>Thank you for giving me the courage to confess to you.
>Thank you for responding to my silly emotional turmoil fic in just as nerdy a fashion.
>Thank you for recommending that one super intense manga about GO.
>Thank you for sharing that you did in fact read lots of shoujo manga and it became something we bonded over.
(3/?)

>Thank you for having such fantastic taste in music and sharing some of that goodness with me, I’m just a little more pop punk now.
>Thank you for all the burned CD’s.
>Thank you for riding out to (her house) to deliver me cookies when I went home and not (school) club cause I had a breakdown.
(4/? almost done)

Dont do it is she is someone who wants to break up over phone she doesn't deserve any nice person, things will get better

awww your girlfriend broke up with you? thats because you were holding on to the concept that SOMEONE ELSE is your life? Pathetic, only you will have control of your life. Its yours, not anybody elses. You cant control other people. thats their problem. Toughen up faggot. There are few certain things in life.
>You pay taxes
>Your car will break down
>women will leave you
>your life belongs to you
>youll die one day

Life is too interesting to check out early. But if you are too weak to want to end it over some bitch then im glad you wont spew your seed into the human gene pool. pussy.

>Thank you for the feel better note too. I cried like a baby after you left.
>Thank you for spending all that time into our first valentines day together. It was a truly magical day/night and one that shoujo mangas would be jealous of.
>Thank you for always taking it slow with me.

>Thank you for making my wimpy attempt at a first kiss into something cute and funny. And thank you for squishing my cheeks together to kiss me when you knew I was still so terribly embarrassed to kiss you normally.
>Thank you for being there to shoot confidence back into me after every college rejection letter.
>Thank you for being there to receive all my late night messages. I had and still have a lot of trouble sleeping and you always made the late night not lonely.
>Thank you for not freaking out over my rants and actually enjoying them
>Thank you for putting up with my jealous insecure self during the first summer I moved to (location). I was awfully unreasonable about not getting messaged back, but god you didn’t even have a phone then what was up with me.
>Thank you for putting up with the shit from my mother. I don’t want to excuse her actions, but she really was in such an awful place at the time and her emotions were taken out on you.
>Thank you for introducing me to Jojo’s bizarre adventure. That is one wild ride of an anime.
>Thank you for becoming a part of culture’s club and partaking in all the cuddle puddles.
>Thank you for dealing with my shit in college when I drank for the first time.
>Thank you for always helping me through my stress and emotional breakdowns school and finals always seem to give me. You always had such big faith in me that it made me have a little faith in me too.
>Thank you for all the fooli(our word for adult time) and the obstacles you had to jump and endure just to get me off.
>Thank you for taking the fooli slow with me at the beginning too.
>Thank you for stopping that one time at my house at (location) when I just wasn’t ready. You came back with cookies and we went into the living room to watch billy and mandy.

>Thank you for the two songs you wrote to me. They are incredible and so so so catchy and wonderful.
>Thank you for being so witty and funny and punny. The jokes you told were always pretty lame but right up my alley of humor.
>Thank you for writing all those (letters) and becoming an open book to me. The (letters) were a way for us to say everything on our minds and you always did.
>Thank you for always being the one to come visit me.
>Thank you for always being down to do nothing when you came to visit and even just doing your own thing while I did school work.
>Thank you for being the best prom date this nerdy ass nerd could ask for.
>Thank you for listening to all my math talk. It’s super boring I’m sure, but you always assured me it was interesting (I know it’s not).
>Thank you for sharing the music you would make with me. I was always so impressed and blown away with it ((blank) is sick) but I feel like I never really told you how much I was amazed by that.
>Thank you for making stupid cute songs with me when we walked places or were doing things.
>Thank you for dealing with my weirdly competitive self when we play video games together, sorry I threw a controller at you.
>Thank you for those cute little drawings you did of us when we were waiting in the car during that one spring break trip. I still have them.
>Thank you for always letting me hog most of the bed. I would always wake up with you squished against a wall and me going spread eagle.
>Thank you for always rooting for me when I was swamped with work.
>Thank you for liking my maybe too chubby self sometimes.
>Thank you for liking my short hair and sometimes too boyish of looks. I never felt ugly with you because you always reassured me I was beautiful.
(one more and thats it woah this is more than i thought haha)

>Thank you for giving me the confidence to unapologetically be myself.
>Thank you for unapologetically being yourself around me.
>Thank you for being such a goof and watching shoujo animes with me.
>Thank you for being my first kiss, and my first love.
>Thank you for three years that were filled with love, smiles, laughter, and lots and lots of dominoes.
>Thank you for loving me.

>These three years with you have been anything but worthless and if you think that’s because of just me you’re so so so wrong. I have never lied to you about what I see in you. I have never once smeared the truth when I said that you are talented and are going places. You are so incredibly hard working, kind, smart, and (to your disbelief) handsome. You are one of the best people I know and I know our friends would say the same. There are so many more thank yous I have for you. so many great memories and moments together that I am grateful for.

>I don’t want our ties with one another to end because we’re broken up, but that’s such a selfish thing to ask for. Whether you’d like to keep talking in the future, I leave that choice up to you.

>If you ever need anything, my door is always open for you.

>Thank you so much for this incredible relationship.
-(user ex gf

I love you so much Sup Forums this is exactly what i want~

youtube.com/watch?v=wzhzkKccBi8

user it seems like you depended on her a lot, and it's clear she still cares about you. Just because you've broken up, doesn't mean you can't use her for emotional support. I broke up with my boyfriend but we're still on good terms and we cuddle and shit. I know it's difficult but the last thing she'd want is for you to kill yourself. Just talk to her about this, and she will support you through it.

No, dont talk to her about this.
She doesnt care. That is essentially her goodbye letter.
Its time for OP to grow up and better himself, by himself. he needs self- confidence. He needs to get out of his own head and tackle his inner demons. Dont tell her how much you were affected. Tell her you wish her the best and say goodbye. close if you close that door more will open. Look forward not behind. If you dont do this...these words will haunt you when you come to the point where you realized you wasted so much time trying to change how a person feels about you. MOVE THE FUCK ON

this

MAN UP.

if you an hero you're a faggot

Don't do it. Red Dead 2, Destiny 2, Star Citizen, etc...So many great games coming.

I asked my magic 8 ball and it said you will find a better girlfriend before the end of summer. Have faith.

>She doesnt care. That is essentially her goodbye letter.

Did you even read it?

Op here. I dont blame him. Its really long. Mad apologize for that.

women are full of shit, you have to read between the lines

yes, have you ever had a girl leave you before? one that esentially "feels bad" about breaking up with you? This is nothing new Sup Forumsrother
this is how women operate when they dont want you anymore. They try to be nice at first. Its classic

either way, whatever he chooses to do...its over. Its time to make a change. I dont even know why I care but... ive given OP enough advice. Im outta here. Its the SAME advice that was given to me in the past and I didnt listen to it. Man, i wish i did. The next time it happened, those words popped into my mind. I got out of my funk, out of my head. I was respectful of her decision. I spent the next year bettering myself. Im not perfect and i know nobody else is. But now my life is great. I have the best girl ive had in my life, a great job and decent health. Im not looking at tomorrow in terms of this relationship. she may end it someday, or I might, nobdy knows whats going to happen in the future. Self-disipline, self-respect, respect for others is key. Im preparing to live with myself for the rest of my one life. What are you guys doing? Good luck OP

If you feel like you're actually getting to the point where you're gonna go off and kill yourself over this, just talk to her, and I'm sure she'll help you through it. Other anons do have a point that you'll eventually need to move on, but from what I can tell you're not up to that point yet. Things will be shit for awhile. You will make it out in the end, though.

user in the end we will all die even she so just wait the end is near

I know that feel, OP. It's useless to tell you now that you should forger her, because you desperately want her back, I know this. And you could even achieve that. But you need a good strategy.
Do not contact her. Nothing! No messages, no phone calls no nothing.
Change your fucking self in a way that you finally start loving yourself. Really, no person on this planet loves people who don't love themselves.
After a certain time, I guess after about 2 months or something she will contact you again. She will be curious how your life goes on and when she notices that you don't need her, she you will become at least interesting in her eyes again, because thats people. They want something they can't have, it's always the same.
If you do this right, you can get her back then. If you still want..

You should kill her.

user pls don't an hero

Kill yourself.
One less whiny bitch.

bro that sucks but it will get better. seriously, almost the same thing happened to me with my high school sweetheart, I thought my life was over, I thought I'd never love again.

It's all worked out though, I have a great gf now. Hang in there, it will get better.

OP, breakups suck. I know it sounds cliche but it'll always get better. You do need to realize she's not breaking up with you because of something wrong that you did. You gave her your all and if she still thinks breakup is the better option then obviously it's not worth your time grieving over something you might've done wrong. You didn't. The only thing she said about you was that you lacked self confidence. Work on that man. Also keep in mind that she said it "may" be the last letter from her. Hold on to that little glimmer of hope that she'll come back after you've worked on yourself if you want. Or don't, because she has made it very clear you were amazing in the relationship. Keep that thought and focus on yourself. Give any future girlfriend no reason to say you have no self confidence. You seem like a good person OP, and she clearly knows that. Just keep on breathing, friend. It will ALWAYS get better.

your going to off yourself like a faggot cause some slut dumped you?

heres a song to listen to on the way out you spineless faggot
youtube.com/watch?v=nE6X6HGyIfE

>
tldr.
use any streaming site do it fast and it'l be too late when they take it down

If I had no hope and wanted to kill myself, I'd get a one way ticket to Turkey and fight with the kurds.

At least lay your life on the line knowing you were a brave soul fighting the literal incarnation of evil.

Plus you get an AK or even an rpg.

>i feel like twitch is too "gamey"
do youtube stream instead.

You better be joking. Thats a weak reason to kill yourself.
Reasons to kill yourself are if you lost your penis or face . If you do , then put a bullet in your head my dude.

lol. over a girl. get some real issues in your life then well talk.

She's still in love with you, you just aren't putting in enough effort

Just chill. Just watch some neon genesis, go for a walk. Realize that hitler did nothing wrong. You've always got tomorrow.

People are so unimaginative these days. If I wanted to an hero I would do it by kicking a yakuza in the balls or fighting a shark or something.

Bullshit

Lovely picture. Got more?

emotional people are not logical. that's why something neat like that rarely happens.

yeah, same happened to me years ago, but she never wrote me any letter, or even had the ovaries to tell me face to face. I think i still love her, we are loosing time with this shit

also dont kys over a fucking stupid cunt man, there are better things in life, such as Heroin (not trolling)

Oh come on, she says the reason for the breakup right here...

>A big thing that became apparent to me over our phone call was how little you valued yourself. I have always known you didn’t see yourself in the brightest light, but you never went down on yourself as hard as you did then. And I can go on and on about how much you’re worth and how you’re still standing behind that wall so you can’t possibly see all you’ve done, but I have a feeling you won’t accept them.

Don't dump so much shit on a partner. When you're together, just focus on the positives even if the idea of that seems phony or corny.

dont, i know so many people who were where you are now... and a year later were grateful they didnt end their life. its just a speed bump, talk to someone, call a helpline. people care.

OP here. I laughed super hard at this,good stuff.

Amazing~

bro dont kill yourself get some hookers or something

OP if you're gonna go out atleast become a legend doing it. I'd recommend shia labeouf's next live stream.

Do not an hero
enough said

Op here. Yooooo that sounds dope. I always liked the thought of conquering something, I feel like we need to bring conquering back. Maybe ill be the dude to take trump down, that'd be pretty dope, and elaboorate.

op you are a fool

don't do it, man
there's so much porn on the internet you haven't seen, so many fetishes you don't have, so many crimes you've yet to commit!

They don't need to be logical, just be a bit more theatrical (which they should be good at).
If you're going to kill yourself you might as well get a new credit card and fly to the other side of the world, take insane amounts of stimulants and try to take over a drug cartel. If you fail then you managed to an hero (win). If you succeed then your life has so utterly changed that you might want to give that a shot first. (also win).

No ive been thinking of creative ways. I dont want to go out a lame way, i want to end up on the news at the very least. I would love to take on a shark that sounds rad.

my friends are taking me to vegas because theyre creative so ill probably catch something there like a champ.

If you're intending to stream from a webcam, use this program called Yawcam. You might have to turn on UPNP in your router, but that's easy.
Number of viewers may be limited by your own connection speed, but that's the price of not having to use a streaming portal.

but seriosly, dont go just yet

Be an hero & don't do it.

Was hoping this was the stream

Just do lots of very dangerous things. And film yourself doing them.

my point was to explain why most suicides are mostly alone and relatively unnoticed.

If i was about to end it all then i would have an interesting plan as well. but if i was still able to plan things intelligently; i probably could plan better than killing myself because i'm unhappy with my life.

do it

kills self cuz grill broke up
>lame

Never understood how pathetic can someone be to khs over a girl. Also, 3 years only? lmao

If you kill yourself be prepared to spend the afterlife sucking demon cock in hell you raging faggot. But seriously don't do it dude chicks are a dime a dozen and this broad sounds fuckin batty, man up and move on

Dude you have a lot to live for. Mass Effect Andromeda comes out in two days. Do you really want to die knowing how much you'll laugh at that game?

>K*rds
Literally neck yourself in front of me.
They're communist Islamist cowards.

Even though Sup Forums is full of degenerates, we all care about each other deep down inside.

Dude normally on these sort of threads I'd say fucking do it bitch but you sound like a decent guy, you'd make someone a lovely wife someday! Fuck that bitch, cry, grieve, winge be an pussy over her but after that fucking move on, plenty of girls would love a guy like you. You already made one girl love you, you can fucking do it again with someone better.

Citizenship is easy to get here, plus we're always looking for soldiers, you'll get the best gear and a nice check too, dont hesitate

Look man, it's not worth killing yourself over some chick. You haven't lived your life to the fullest.
Smoke weed, party, exercise your heart out. Do everything you can do. Living is the longest thing you will ever do, so make the most of it.

Life is shit but you have to remember you have ups and downs .

-The biggest B-tard you will ever meet

Screenshotted this. This alone cheered me up amazingly.

I have one important question.
Why do women do this?
Why do they always have to make it as painful as possible?
Why the fuck did she have to send you that long painful letter? Just reading it made me sad and hurting in my chest. What the actual fuck? Who needs this? She could have said it in a way that did not feel like your pet puppy was dying, but she wanted this to be painful and to hurt you. All I see in that damn letter she sent you is my ex. The attention seeking whore who only intended to get attention by hurting the Mr. Nice Guy.

Fuck her, OP. Look at how long and painful that shit was. She obviously sent it because she did not give a fuck about you or your feelings. Dumb bitch. I HATE women who were only created to hurt good guys.
If I was a woman I'd go "hey okay you were amazing but we need sometime apart..." and then gradually end it so the guy gets the hint.
But no. It's all about drama and pain with these ones. Utterly degenerate.

>suicide snobs won't go on twitch now...

I

Hey, Sup Forumsro. My ex girlfriend dumped me 6 weeks ago. She's already fucked 3 guys, has a new boyfriend, and sent me numerous texts about how I'm a piece of shit and her biggest mistake, and how her new boyfriend is better than me in every way.

> still got mad dome though so whatever bitch

It'll pass, Sup Forumsro. I know the immediate pain seems insurmountable, but it *will* pass. It goes from stabbing, unbearable pain that keeps you awake at night to nagging, dull ache in your stomach that radiates outwards, to eventually you stop giving a fuck. It still hurts a little bit right now, but I get better every day. First month was hard, but it steadily improves.

This

Op here. Wtf only half of you are telling me to go through with it what is this, step up boys.

>seriously thou thank you im a huge faggot but this board is ridiculous in a good way Sup Forums is a magical horrible place

Murder some people first including your ex

bro stop with the bullshit, decide if you are going to kys or not. Dont be a pussy and if you are going to do it send us the link to the streaming

>Destiny
You should be the one killing yourself, not OP

Xddddd so edgy man, you're so cool Xddddddd

Op, howdy man. There is some creedence to the length, every month we would send letters to each other of similar length, so at the least its fitting.

Stream it, the popcorn is almost done faggot

This reminds me of the time there was a suicide-homicide in my neighborhood. The girl broke up with the boy and he ended up paying her a visit at her house and shooting her then himself.
News article about it:
archive.azcentral.com/community/phoenix/articles/20140307couple-found-dead-gunshot-wounds-north-phoenix-abrk.html

...

OP typing: We'll see. Obviously 99% of people who say it dont go through with it but im on my 5th drink so options are opening up, don't give up just yet (i said ironically).

Going an hero? So many things to do in life, I've thought about killing myself so many times in my 20s, happy I've never done it.

Don't be a fag.

The kid was in JROTC which is a small training program for kids about to join the military after the graduate.

Christ Almighty, OP. You raging fucking homo. Pussy is the literal most common commodity on this planet. You legitimately cannot possibly date/fuck every woman that would want you, and you want to kill yourself over a single slut? Would you kill yourself over missing a single bus? Because that's the worth of a woman, you faggot. Grow the fuck up.

OP: ~

I feel like OP is doing this for attention. Like he really isn't going to off himself but he was thinking about pretending to do it.

The almighty Christ OP: I wish i could call her a slut my dude, I was her first, she was ridiculously awkward and nerdy when we first started dating. But i like that like about missing the bus.

OP here. Totally fair. Maybe i will, maybe i wont. We'll see as the day goes it, but because this is an ANONYMOUS board i dont have to worry about anything, so i figured this would be the best place to get told to kill myself.

do you know how women actually think?
that was just a pity letter.

Don't be such a faggot. I bet you're young, and naive. Girls just want to live the moment. If you ever were a whiny bitch in her presence, or even given her a hint that you might be sensible and shit like that, it will turn her down, even you are good looking. But don't worry, just work on yourself on all levels and fuck/be with as many girls as you can until 30yo or so, experience is the key. Then at 40+, if you're financially stable and have a nice body you can still fuck hot teenies while being married, if you want to, but women can't do the shit you do at that age. That's our advantage