Be me at school

>Be me at school
>School starts new PC bullshit
>Every libtard club and student approves
>Be me in Earth and Environmental Science
>Get sidetracked by students and talk about Black holes
>Interrupt teacher
>Teacher looks dead at me, no mercy
>No turning back now
>Tell her that it is an "African American" hole
>Teacher furious, libtards screeching, friends laughing their asses off
>One asks me "user, why is it called an African American hole--"
>Cut her off before she finishes
>"It's because it steals everything in the universe"
>Ohshit.png
>Top kek ensues on my friends, libtards screeching louder than a 30mm GAU cannon
>Get sent to office
>Principle laughs his ass off
>Only have to apologize to teacher
>Teacher doesn't accept it and screams at me
>She ends up getting a warning by the principle
>Every libtard/feminazi/SJW/whatever the fuck hates me, everyone else treats me like a god
What is one of your best school stories?

Once had a real fire at school

same

Punched popular bully while he was being held by priciple. Lauded as hero of the geeks!

His reputation was destroyed

This'll give ya a good chuckle
My old english 4 teachers name is Eric Harris ( yknow the Coloumbine shooter?)
Anyway one of the other teachers freak bc she thinks its the actual Eric Harris
She snitches on him to the principal and ge gets escorted out in the middle of class by the police
Once they figure out its not him the principal tears into the fem teachers ass in the middle of her class
( our classes were side by side so we're loosing our shit)
Mr.Harris comes back to class pissed to a point of desk throwing
One of my friends straight up bought a gallon of milk and a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch for lunch.
Mr.Harris straight up says that if he gets a bowl then the whole class gets a 100 as a test grade.
Mfw i passed the semester bc my teach has a school shooter name and likes cereal

Cut my wrists so I could skip gym class

They don't let a good boy exercise if he could accidentally show some scars with a psychologist note ;)

>best school stories
>emphasis on stories

one time two tards had gay buttsex in the bathroom but this one was my own doing

fake as fuck.

Only you could slide through with a male principal. Female ones are usually bitchy (unless you know some certain ones that are chill).

This happened last Friday
>be me (18 senior)
>7 AM, so school will start in about 35 minutes
>buses unload and my friends are sitting by me
>noonefuckingwithmyclique.jpeg
>notice some sophomore wearing faggot light up shoes
>me and my friends are hollering "take those faggot shoes off"
>look at gay kid of class and said "tell that sophomore that those shoes look gayer than you "
>tells me to fuck off
>detention teacher and assistant principal tell him to come down
>shitjustgotreal.jpeg
>they're talking to faggot sophomore
>he turns off his shoes
>me and my friends keked

>be me
>be math nerd
>when you were playing with your legos I was playing with math
>Go into highschool testing at college level calculus
>they can't really put me into a math class so for math credits I get assigned students to tutor
>football jock type gets assigned to me
>turns out he'd been cheating practically his whole life to pass math
>doesn't understand SHIT
>literally have to start at the ground up
>by the end of the semester he's passing algebra
>(side note: I later realized he's got discalcula once I learned about it)
>once I started getting him on track with number theory it all started falling into place.
>used a lot of "math tricks" I'd discovered and learned about to teach him how to check his work and do the actual math

>passes the test and can get back on the team for the playoffs or some bullshit
>he's SUPER excited that he finally understands it
>we're cool, he drags me to hang out with him and his friends

>passing period a few weeks later
>bully is picking on me again, dumping my backpack or some bullshit
>WHAM
>bully lying on the ground
>jock is standing there with hand out to help me up
>bully comes too and starts crying like a little bitch
>"You ever touch my boyfriend again and I'll make sure you're drinking through a straw for the next six months."

We got married two years ago

>F
>A
>G
>G
>O
>T

Awww

Pretty shitty but ok

You sound like a huge asshole tbh fam
The guy just wore shoes and you yelled at him for it

Faggot

>Be me
>School had a bluetooth speaker in the gym
>Connected to it and played Sabaton -Panzerkampf
>All across the gym the phrase "INTO THE MOTHERLAND THE GERMAN ARMY MARCH" echoed
>Gym coaches yell to shut it off
>Next day
>Class in a circle dancing to macerina
>idea.jpg
>Interrupt the song with Sabaton - Panzerkampf
>"INTO THE MOTHERLAND THE GERMAN ARMY MARCH"
>Coaches make the class sit down and be silent for the rest of the period
>A week later
>Bluetooth to speaker and play "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION"
>Coaches take up everybody's phones for the rest of the period
>mfw I never got caught

FemAnon or FagAnon?

The jock literally says boyfriend, slowass.

>not too good on the reading comprehension huh?

could be transanon

An excerpt from Things That Never Happened, Vol. 47.

then the whole bus clapped

Kill yourself

Nicely done, fag.

That is adorable

^-^

kek

...

▲
▲▲
new fag

>principal laughs his ass off
kek

Racist piece of shit

unlee nufagz sei nuphag hyuk hyuk hyuk

ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!!!, DO YOU SPEAK IT?

That was pretty funny.

>things that never happened the post
>being an edgy teenager
>being in high school
Underage b&

juicy lady.

>be me senior in calculus class
>calc teacher assigns group work
>shitsabouttogodown.jpeg
>the class gathers to their own groups
>i hang out with my friends, one of my friends comes up and asks if i watched the "grape video"
>Ihavenoclue.gif
>brings his mac over, go to youtube, clip from the whitest kids u know pops up
>video literally is a grape soda commercial with the slogan "grape all day" etc.
>laugh my ass off and my autistic self yells out "Im gonna Grape you all night long!"
>the whole class goes silent
>the teacher locks on me like a drone on brown ppl
>kicks me out of class for good 30min
>comes out yells at me
>sent to principal, principal sends me to assistant principal, the assist principal sends me to counselor.
>all of them call my mom, got suspended from school for a week
>come back BOOM test, fucking failed that shit
>rest of the year kids knew me as the kid that yelled grape