Sup Forumstards, what's a true story that happened that sounds like bullshit but isn't?

Sup Forumstards, what's a true story that happened that sounds like bullshit but isn't?

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(You)

>So about 4 years ago you couldn't google it without "school shooting attempt".
>Anyway 4 years go by, I'm out of high school my little brother is now a freshmen
>last week one of my groups chats gets messaged saying another shooting was stopped.

>So the fire alarm goes off during lunch, no one knows what to do bc retarded school preschedules drills for when you're in the classroom. Then the loudspeakers in the school start saying "Evacuate the campus" without explaining what's going on.
>So my brother being the peak of self preservation leaps of the gate at the school and doesn't stop runnin.
>yes i said he had to go over the fence, bc while "EVACUATE CAMPUS" was blaring over loudspeakers no one remembered to unlock the gates so people could get out >Guess the shooter bribed the teachers or they're just as autistic as the shooter. (don't worry that'll be explained soon)
>So after this happens as you'd guess my mom is flipping out trying to find out what's going on.
>Turns out the reason know one knows anything is bc the school decided to try to hide it bc I guess having 2 attempted shootings in 4 years is bad for school rep.
>So school tries telling parents nothing happened.
>MFW police report is filed and people find out who it was.
>Kid known as "Angry Birds Kid" bc he literally wears head to toe angry birds clothing everyday
>Draws angry birds OC's and covered a teacher's room in them at one point
>get the jist he's cringy
>Curse god when you find out he's actually Autistic
>Turns out the autistic angry birds kid got bullied a lot
>FuckingSurprise.EXE
>So the kid decides he's gonna fuckin slaughter these kids harder than his Roblox girlfriend's Pussy
>Kid comes to school ready, the Mighty red bird looks out across his prey ready to catapult bullets at these green pigs
>Posts photo to instagram of the red bird holding a gun
>tells ppl he's gonna kill them
>planned on pulling fire alarm and shooting kids as they left school
>Fuck Autistic kids

I might have fingered a girl on an island when my friend who took us there had fucked off to drink coffee but I was too fucked up to remember it clearly

Can grn.txt if you want

'Murrica

>virgin
>pls user fuck me
>no
>pls?
>no
>pls?
>okay.

Bumperino My Niggerino

I frequently visit this website and have also slept with a woman

Nobody?

Women have literally told me I am the biggest they've had

Im actually not retaarded

>be drunk
>maybe did something
>the end

You stupid faggot

The story where Bill Murray went to a student party, did the washing up and slapped the host saying no one would believe him.

I was there, and he did do the washing up. Not sure about the slapping though, so one seems to remember seeing that.

One time I went to this local weed shop. They were having a raffle and I decided to get a ticket and won this huge gift basket of weed and edibles. I'd post a pic but I'm not sure where I saved it

Almost got my head swiped clean off the shoulders by a train. Saved my ass by having second thoughts about walking on the train tracks

My dad used to be a drug lord in Milwaukee. Gave up his operation to raise me and my 8 other siblings. Gave his "empire" to his second in command. The dude is in a coma rn has been forever like 3 years I guess. But dad doesn't really do much illegal. Is a gunsmith not as a hobby and his day job is building servers for the goverall and military. I don't really believe too much into it because the government and it's background checks but there is evidence that a lot of it did happen. Also my dad is a weeb and plays magic the gathering.

What the fuck are these spelling errors fuck autofill

Trump got elected as president

Kek /thread

Two planes crashed into two towers

My last girlfriend was basically perfect and i broke up with her because i hate myself and didnt want to drag her down with me.

Hillary didnt go to jail

VALVe Corporation actually used to make videogames.

Nah I took some benzo and "woke up" (my memory started) at my mate's house

>Women have literally told me I am the biggest they've had
the biggest a-hole?

Same here. Women lie all the time so I don't trust them though

Nobody cares about your shit story.
Shut the fuck up faggot

Girl who left me for another guy got fucked over hard by him, I couldn't even hate her anymore, just had to laugh at how pathetic she was over it. However when I type it out, it doesn't even seem like something real. But I assure you, this shit happened, women really can cause reality bending experiences in your life.

>Me and girl like each other and are talking
>She's kind of nutty, but fun to be around. Has some real drama queen antics at times.
>One day she flips her shit over nothing, and either refuses to talk to me, or trips over anything when we do.
>Naive me just doesn't get it, and try for two months to mend things
>Finally she gives up and lets me find out the real reason
>She met someone else and instead of telling me, she tried to hide it by sabotaging our relationship first then acting like she'd met him after
>I don't even waste my time arguing, I cut contact and walk away.
>Couple years later get an update on her
>Her bf had cheated on her repeatedly and for some reason she stuck with him, and it made her a crazy person
>It ended with her catching him cheating, and his response was to beat the shit out of her
>She's busted up, and humiliated
>Apparently made a big drama over the breakup
>Also a few months later, she gets caught stalking his new gf's facebook profile with a fake facebook profile
>The guy's new gf calls her out and roasts her publicly

What a weirdo that girl was. Fuck.

im not a virgin

best fake sounding but true story

I was at a bar in New Haven Connecticut and Gary Busey threw a chair at me

Dabbin dadz?

tl;dr: someone got herpes from me and I will get murdered for it.

I worked at a food place.
I didn't know I had herpes. got really sick one month, went to many docs, 1 told me I have herpes.
got better so kept working at the food place.
I didn't think anyone could get it from me unless they had sex with me or touched some open sores and then touched themselves.
the owners son got herpes.
I was blamed.
they started stalking me and hired someone to murder me.
I'm still alive cause I had this gut feeling not to go back to work the day that it was going to happen.
I'm still being stalked just not so much as before.

This girl I've had a crush on for 7 months offers to fuck me, I accept and our friendship get better and better, might fuck her again soon

Im the one who sent in the potato idea he talks about at 48:10

billburr.com/monday-morning-podcast-3-20-17/