Morrissey is making boiled eggs

>Morrissey is making boiled eggs
>"that yolk isn't runny anymore"

I'd still drop my trousers to him.

>Morrissey is on a date with a girl at a curry restaurant
>she passes out into her food
>"girlfriend in a korma"

>Morrissey kills the queen
>"The queen is dead"

I hate not being gay.

>Morrissey calls a pizza place about his late delivery
>"How soon is now?"

THIS ONE IS SHIT

THIS ONE IS PRETTY GOOD
THIS ONE IS AMAZING
THIS ONE MADE ME KEK BECAUSE OF THE OTHER TWO SETTING ME UP FOR LAUGHTER

THANKS FOR YOUR STUPID OPINION CUNT

>Morrissey taking a road trip to France
>About to enter the Channel Tunnel
>"I know its Dover"

>Starve Morrissey
>He's so thin

>Morrissey has a friend who's thinking about transitioning
>Next time they meet he ask if he's gone in for surgery
>"Nope, I'm still will"

if morrissey grew vegetables he'd be this farming man

kek

if morrissey was a wizard who used expelliarmus he'd be this disarming man

> Morrissey taking college classes online
>submits a programming project online
> he forgets to upload some functions he was supposed to plot
>teacher emails him
>I've seen your files, but I've never really seen your graph

>Morrissey goes to get fitted for a suit
>"heaven knows I'm measurable now"
THAT'S NOT MORRISSEY THAT'S ME

>Morrissey does acid
>"This is not my beautiful house"
>"This is not my beautiful wife!"

> Morrissey makes vegan rap
> album is called "Beat is murder"

>Morrissey wakes up, see it's a sunny day
>"I'll see you on the Dark Side of the Moon"

>Morrissey is down on his luck
>addicted to drugs
>"Are you sniffing glue"
>"It's ok, its glamorous glue"

>Morrissey is asked about his responsabilities
>''Responsability is cool, but there are more things in life, like getting your dick rode all night''

>Morrissey sees a baby
>"THREE FOUR FUCK YOU BABY DISJOINTED HOUDINI BABY"

>Morrissey is playing soccer
>He doesn't want to be in the red team
>After much insisting they finally put him in the blue team
>He gets really excited about it
>"I'm blue da ba dee da ba daa"

>Morrissey rides the bus
>the 412 to east croydon
>half hour bus ride
>He gets off at purley tescos
>reaches into pocket for phone
>it's empty
>"Panic"

>Morrissey stops believing
>Thom Yorke stops by
>"Don't Stop Believing!"

>Morrissey is hanging with two buddies
>One of them passes gas
>"Bruv will dare us a fart?"

>Morrisey giving out instructions on how to put on protective workwear
>'Hand in Glove'

>Morrissey is putting the TV together with Johnny Marr but is losing patience with him
>"GIMME THE LEAD, GIMME THE LEAD, GIMME THE LEAD"

>morrissey posts on Sup Forums
>heaven knows i'm miserable now

>Morrissey sells livestock
>"Sheila, take a cow."

>Morrissey watches a documentary about Muslims ruining the world
>Morrissey watches another documentary about Jews ruining the world
>"What difference does it make"

>anons falsely attributes lyrics to Morrissey which arent his
>that joke isnt funny anymore

Kek

>Morrissey comments on his lamp which he's had for 40 years
>"Ther is a light and it never goes out"

>Morrissey finds 115 yr old eggs
>same old yolk since 1902

>Morrissey passes by the local theatre and sees that they're performing Macbeth for the fourth year in a row
>"It's Macbeth for no reason and Macbeth for another season is a bummer"

>Morrissey tries to get soft serve ice cream on a summer day but the machine ran out
>"It's hot for a season, I believe there's a reason it's out of order"

This joke isn't funny anymore

Morrissey changes his tires.
>Rubber ring rubber ring rubber ring rubber ring.

;)

>morrissey is attacked by a bass twice in a week
>bigmouth strikes again

>Morrissey dresses for the snowy weather
>"hand in glove"

>Morrisey wants to cradle his newborn child for the first time but doesn't know the baby's sex
>"hand it over, hand it over"

For some reason this one really got me.