Happy Birthday Harry

Happy Birthday Harry

HOWEVER

Get it? His parents fucked on Halloween! So clever. Really makes you think

YOU ARRE AA WIZAARR HARRREH

FRAID I MIGHT AVE SHAT ON IT AT SOME POINT

DRRROOOI OOP DERZZLEY YEW GRAYT PROON

NEVUHR
INSUL
ABBUS DUBUHDORE IN FRONT OF ME

I think you mean: HAPPEE BIRTHDAE HARRY.

i know hagrid was half gigant but was he also inbred?

wait a minute, if hagrid slept in the same area as voldemort that means he had to be a slytherin

looks like a cake made from menstrual blood

I like to think about his mother and father fucking.

Heh.

He's from the British isles. So yes.

*removes 10 points from slytherin*
*sips lemonade*

JUS FULLOW EH SPOIDERS

"DRY UP DURSLEY, YOU GREAT PRUNE! I'LL TURN YOUR FAGGOT SON INTO A PIG THEN FUCK 'M TILL HE SQUEALS LIKE ON ONE TOO!"
How did Rowling get away with this?

Why did Hagrid try to turn Dudley into a pig? It's literally child abuse.

I want Rita Skeeter to transfigure me into her panties.

who the fuck is harrg

Why didn't Harry fuck her in that broom closet

Cry more you amerifat inbred hick

>you're a cock sucking nigger harry
>a wot
>blimey you deaf faggot, i said you're a nigger

how the fuck did they get away with this dialogue?

Congratulations harry you were in one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

She's just slightly too british to really be attractive

Because he's a cuck
also he was 14

I posted it again Mumsie!

Great Gatsby its fucking high school tier

Then why didn't she fucked him?

>ywn have your virginity robbed by a vicious Skeeter

>she will never transfigure into a butt plug

CHINESE FIREBALL OHHHHH

I sometimes wonder if Hogwarts has slags & chavs too

It tickles me

There's probably some curse where you get bound for an eternity to a witch who takes your virginity by force

he was actually a gryffindor, obviously. i looked it up

he was fucking around with aragog in the castle is all

HP its fucking elementary school tier

look mom im telling them again! im a literature machine!

9 months

Nobody cares how shit you are at books kiddo. Stick to videogames and capeshit before I stomp you into submission and you're forced to spam black dicks and cunny threads over and over

im pretty sure thats in the bible