Let's get a secrets thread going anons

Let's get a secrets thread going anons.

my cars cousin tried to fist me in my uncles van

good thred OP

Yeah good stuff. Thanks for coming out guys, it was fun.

yes, let's

anytime Sup Forumsro

Ran a train on a girl with my friend and couldn't get it up because it was cold, but then was happy I couldn't because her vag smelled rank as hell and she probably had some std or some shit

Interest

>because it was cold
sure.. fag.

sometimes i bump threads

Ok, so it was cold…and awkward.

>I'm a zoophile
>Know plenty of women that are as well
>Active in a lot of fetish communities
>Know a lot of 18-24 year old girls that are into real life loli and always want to read/watch loli hentai together
>Have a bunch of 18-28 year old girls that constantly talk about how bad they want me to "breed them" and use them as cum dumpsters and keep them constantly pregnant
>Have a dozen girls on skype and kik that will just randomly send me nudes even if I haven't been responding to them for days
>Have a few friends who will randomly want to just suck my dick "for fun", thank me for it, then leave
>All of them are 6/10 or higher, up to a solid 9/10

>user says I'm living the dream
>In reality I hate myself and wish I was dead every single day

virgin faggot because i never learned to man the fuck up and talk to women

What the fuck is "real life Loli"?

Sometimes I post the same damn thread every day like the faggot I am

I loled

underage girl considered attractive by some fuckers, just becuase its irl doesnt mean it changes meaning stupid fuck

I actually liked the star wars prequels.

I'm responsible for more than 30,000 dollars of stolen equipment from the Circuit City I work at.

because you lie to look cool on b? shit man dont worry everyone on here does it

No, that's just called being a pedophile you dumb faggot

is it pedophilia if they're also under 18?

As a joke, I put Nair hair removal cream in someone's shampoo bottle and she slowly started losing her hair because I also added a little water and shook it up and she never knew so she kept using it for weeks and just thought the hair loss was her getting sick.

I just had surgery on my left testicle. Had complications and it swelled up to the size of a small coconut and I had to go to the ER. Not a super secret but still

nah

I'm straight but sometimes I like sucking dick, visit my Trans friend a lot. So guess I'm bi after all

same shit retard

Do you have a gf?

You hereitic

I've posted more than once on this thread but until now, nobody knew

I went to a friend's house an took a shit in their bathroom but because I was pissed at him and he'd been a dick to me before I pulled out a pair of latex gloves I brought specifically for this purpose and shoved a small piece of shit in the end of his shower curtain rod.
>they went crazy for months trying to figure out what it was and ended up moving before they found out.

I said I'm straight
not an idiot

Sometimes when I go to a friends house I'll save pubes I've plucked out of my dick with a pair of tweezers and sprinkle a few on the food he and his girl are eating while it's cooking.

There's this one girl I work with that I really wanna fuck in the corner off camera while on break.

I need my other sister.

I secretly wish a woman at work would flash me her tits or ask for an e mail and send nudes.

You need a vasectomy.

>excuse me
hysterectomy

I found a pic of a girl I know from uni on Sup Forums, where she's in a slutty open mouth pose with some cum on her, and I have no idea how to react, I mean the rumors about her are true now that I've seen this, but I'm not sure if I just fap to this a lot, look for more or approach her

Go for it.

But how would I go about that? She's quite popular and there are talks going on that she likes foreigners, which I am not, and it would be rude if I approached her with one of the rumors or the pic

i want to die every day but too pussy to try agian

who fucking cares if it's rude
she's a whore
post pic by the way

Do you think that would work? I really want her, always see her in university with her foreign friends she probably has fun with

Don't mention the pic you idiot.
Approach with your best false confidence and hope she lets you fuck her eventually after pretending to be her friend for however the fuck long it takes. Just don't be retarded and mention the picture or it's instant cock block because no woman wants to hear some random dude (or some dude who's been courting her) tell her he found nudes of her online. It's not hot, it's creepy and whatever the fuck fantasy you're conjuring up just isn't gonna happen.
>But if you're lucky and work hard enough on yourself she might touch your penis.

My 80 year old neighbor did that to herself accidentally.

Yeah I was thinking about that, but it's frustrating hearing stories about her and not being able to come to the same parties. I might just need to go for the slow approach to get into one

Then don't, try really hard to live instead and when someone gives you shit for it or tries to stifle your happiness just don't be a bitch and remember that you're in control of your own life whether you believe it or not. Circumstances are only circumstances until they're not, then once you're free you have options.

I make about 1800$ a week with counterfeit money I only do it 4 times a day but it's how I make my living one day I won't be so lucky

that...that's the pic you're basing your plans around?
Jesus, I thought it would at least be a nude. but you''ve decided she's a slut, and are going to ask her to fuck. Because you saw a picture where she had her mouth open.

Your 80 year old neighbor is one dumb bitch.
>or she's senile. Either way keep dangerous shit away from old people, they're like children again once they hit 70.

thanks user now i want to kill my self a little less

i want to be a sissy faggot, but i'm fat

Yeah you're fuckin retarded,
I mean try to fuck or whatever but fuck whatever the pic is.

I'm pretty sure there's some cum on there. And she does have a lot of rumors about her as I said. There was one nude of her (supposedly), but I'm not sure, because it has no face. It looks very similar to her though

There was this girl at work, we were quite close, used to have lunch together. One day, last week, i jizzed in her sandwich and told her after she ate it.
I'm unemployed at the moment

someone who no longer lives in reality

I'm in a state of constant fear that I'm not good enough to make it through college. I'll spend all this money just to drop out and not have anything to show for it. I'm scared that I'll let down my parents who have given me so much.

I have a LDR with my girlfriend of about 1.5 years and I get really bummed out when I don't get to see her for months at a time. I have lots of friends in school, but I feel like I can't really share with them the same feelings and insecurities I can share with her. I don't deserve her, she could do so much better than me.

Basically I'm a totally dependent mess with no self confidence and general anxiety. Even now I'm probably writing this as a way to seek affirmation from total strangers. How pathetic am I?

That's not what I was aiming for.
You SHOULD want to kill yourself
but you should also be able to understand that that's a normal response to most things in life because for decades now people have been born into a world, society, system, and congregation of families and friends that are all organized and authorized to FUCK YOU OVER.
Killing yourself won't end your pain because you don't actually know if it will.
I tried in 2012 and now some days I can't decide if I actually woke up and threw up all the pills I took or I'm either in a coma and this is all just my subconscious creating a fucked up version of reality where my entire life sucks because I feel horrible about trying,
or I actually died and I'm now just living in a special hell designed for me and me alone.
Point is, you only get this life and nothing else is guaranteed so you might as well make some sort of attempt at living it even if the attempt is in vain.

Start smoking, you'll get there.

i feel attracted attracted to 10-14yo girls. i have an ED

I'm dropping out this end of this semester. Don't put so much pressure on yourself with education it honestly doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things

>i have never seen episodes 1,2,3,
>i saw return of the jedi in 1988 i was 7 i fucking hated the ewoks.
>i think vampires are for fags or women who secretly want to sleep with one.
>i think lucas and speilberg are like those whores who were worth paying for in the beginning and at the end were used up cum rags

I constantly snoop on my boyfriend

>cars cousin
kachow

fuck sake
what brand of tin-foil do you buy?
you must be underage

also, to add
society has never been better than what it is now

why

michelle if this is you I swear to god

Lol no not Michelle.

Idk we have a history of trust issues between the both of us but he broke the trust hard last year and I guess I just can't get over it....I can't stop

I don't know man, from where I'm standing I couldn't imagine doing anything other than engineering. It's the only thing I've ever been kinda sorta good at. It's just, the math classes have gone so high concept I have no way to relate it to any sort of reasonable physical situation.

I'll keep going, but apparently my next year is the hardest for my major. If I decide I want to end it all, I'm sure that Sup Forums will support me.

fuck off Michelle i know it's you

Used to sleep over my friend's house, and his older brother would make me blow him and his friends

tits or gtfo
I know you're a sheila because faggots never talk about trust issues. only faggy shit cos they're gay

that is exactly what michelle says when she snoops

Why'd you ask why if you're just gunna be a manwhore

> years agoi lost a relationship to an illness.
> i joking made a list of predicitions of shit that would happen before i got with the one who got away
>2/3rds of those predictions are coming true.
>i don't know if i should worry about being psychic or it's actually going to happen
>last prediction is she's still hot but she's got bigger tits

that was my first post itt

How many friends?

2, not including him.

GLAD you fuckin pussy and I'm 30 years old
>I'll fuck your mother right in the mouth in your bed and I'm not even joking.

surely you are the chosen one

>Be me
>Be 23 y/o white, blonde dood with M A S S I V E fetish for wincest
>Cousin comes over for Supercon, solid 9/10 pic related
>We decide to RP in our costumes for the night cause hype
>dressing up as Pepe, feelsgoodman.jpg
>she dressed as a schoolgirl vampire from some anime, idc
>she starts saying shit that turns me on
>can't take it
>confess my feeling for her like an autist
>she does the same, biting her lip
>next thing I know we're wildly fucking pounding each other harder than Mike Tyson at a pretzel shop

That was the day I fucked Count Vajacula.

My fucking boyfriend HATES feminists and never stops talking about them. I am obviously not even close to a feminist but goddamn is it annoying how he shits on women all day. Just move on.

My girlfriend doesn't exist she's such a feminist so he kinda has a point.

I busted a nut with a friend once, glad to say my dick is bigger ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tits or gtfo

I love English gg

My dick is prob bigger.

He just sits on Instagram and argues with feminists.

This was me some months ago.

The exact same thing; Including the LDR.

Have you considered researching into the Fringe/Metaphysics field?

pretzel shop?

Lmaoooo probs

What's his insta?

he sounds like a real catch user.

You sick fuck

Fuck meant Jewish concentration camp

Contemplating suicide

Heeeeyyyyyyyyy wouldn't you like to know