Lame superpowers thread

Lame superpowers thread.
The power to peel fruit with your mind.

fast weight gain
lame

Revive bugs could be useful

>Revive bugs
>Useless
>Revive all honeybees
>Save world

Motor oil sweat

the ability to see in the dark when the lights are on

>cover a flashlight so that no light gets out
>turn it on

have an 11 inch dick but only when nobody is looking and also no pictures/video

The power to fly north.

>1 second super strength
>lame
It's the duraluminium pewter burst.
End any fight instantly.
Even if it was once a day it would be GOAT.

>1 second super strength

You could throw a punch and activate the power in the second it hits. Not useless at all if you are creative.

It's like a compass combined with flying.

ability to charge devices while they're plugged in

acid tears: some acids may be valuable, definitely could help you break out of prison
invisibility in the dark: bypass any security cameras where it is "dark", definitely useful for stealing shit
control remote: fling that thing at someone's head at 1000 mph and fucking kill them
communicate with fruits: I don't know about you but my community has been trying to teach us to talk treat fruits just like anybody else for a while now, not a superpower.

The only ones that I wouldn't pay for are hair loss and hair growth, everything else has an obvious benefit or a potential benefit depending on the exact mechanics of the power. Also a couple of these aren't powers, I can seduce my hat anytime I want.

What is the benefit of desaturation?

The ability to almost sorta talk to animals, but if they're talking too fast you can only understand like 1/4 words.

desaturation has multiple meanings. The technical meaning would be to remove a substance from a solution, so you could use it very broadly to remove something from something else (desaturate america of the jews, etc.)

If it's just removing color, it's not as good, but you could use it to camofluage yourself or something else by removing color from everything in an area. You could also just use it to fuck with people

She gets to feel it as long as she's not looking.

In OP's pic there are lots of semi useable ones. Invisibility in the dark defeats IR scans and nightvision, and trash detection would make my job as a food safety coach lots easier - no more bending over to see all the debris under cook lines.

With one second of super strength even just once I could just have a banked instant win fight the next time I happen to get in one. It's not very likely but it might happen eventually.

Absorb bad luck would be a pretty good way to commit suicide inconspicuously if you were so inclined, I guess. The rest are pretty shit.

invisibility in dark would be awesome.

getting GETs at will

The power to get the worst player on your Overwatch team to pick Hanzo.
The power to activate almonds.
The power to levitate Jesus.
The power to know you have just stuck your dick in crazy but only after you came in her bareback.
The power to instantly know when you have locked your keys in the car.
The power to simulataneously open every link to every clickbait aritcle or ad in an open tab but only on your own computers.