Holy fuck holy fuck im in a toilet and i cant shit i think im going to die here is painful its a constipation but i...

holy fuck holy fuck im in a toilet and i cant shit i think im going to die here is painful its a constipation but i cant shit it hurt it hurt a lot

cool

Consult a doctor,Sup Forums isn't your fucking doctor you idiot.

hate that shit. years as opiate addict.

use Google maps

Remember this moment. Eat more fiber.

Push harder man

its 3 am motherfucker what donyou want to do call a doctor and say i cant shit? im alone in my house im crying in the floor

eat taco Bell

Go to Taco Bell and eat something with the refried beans in it. Makes me shit every time.

drink a lot of coffee.

Put a rounded tablespoon of coconut oil into a cup of black coffee each morning if you suffer from chronic constipation. I guarantee youll be shitting soft serve in a couple days.

Also, there are a ton of health benefits. Google coconut oil coffee health benefits if youre skeptical.

Eat better. Don't be a fucking American cliche
/thread

Get off your high horse you pretentious fuck.

Here I sit broken hearted
Tried to poop and only farted
Nothing comes and yet I linger
Look out butt here comes the finger

God speed, and good luck, user

Not even OP, but I am going to do this in the morning for those trips.

Coconut oil is a meme

Magnesium citrate. Lemon flavor.
It will make you able to shit. 100% guarantee.
I came home from the hospital and didn't shit for a week until I drank a bottle of it.

Kek, you are a pussy dude. I've gone 2 weeks without shitting before, eating a stereotypical American diet. Double meat burgers every other day, whole large meatlover pizzas every other day, etc. Deal with it, little bitch.

Best lube ever

Lol. Regardless of trips, do it. It helps digestion, aids in appetite control, and has great anti bacterial properties which can even help clear up problem skin.

Yep. Magnesium citrate will work for sure. Drink most of the bottle though.

It doesn't. I am this guy.
Never did "shit" for me.

...

Get a disposable enema and shoot it up your ass
It will break up the shit and help you eliminate.
You will cry after but that is ok.
After that start drinking plenty of water.
I have been there.
Good luck.

full fat milk also works. as long as you're combining it with fat. same applies for any herbal remedy for cleaning you out

also gonna try this when i wake up at 2pm tomoro

Try AIDS enemas

...

/thread

Stop being a pussy and scrape it out of your anus with a coat hanger

have fun and pay a hooker to scrape your shit out, I've done this several times in the last couple years!

Warm water and prune juice or just put a soap in ur rectum, painful but it work