>be me age 17.
>go on blind date set up by sister with this cute redhead, but says she is kinda shy
>was kinda nervous but liked what sister told me about her
>sister says that he friend will be ready around 7 o'clock
>I leave a little early and stop at the gas station on the way there
>pick up a single rose
>get to her house and knock on the door
>she answers the door, I say hello and she just gives me a big smile
>tell here I wanted to take her to a movie and she nods her head yes with excitement
>I start to ask her something, but she is already reaching for the radio
>one of my favorite songs it on and I ask her if she likes it
>she looks a little confused at first but then shakes her head yes
>when we get to the theater she points at the popcorn
>i pick up a large popcorn and a drink for us each
>i didn't want to be to presumptuous with the single drink/two straws
>We go into the theater and she is looking at me
>She looks so cute and I must have smiled because she smiles back at me
>the movie starts
Be me age 17
underage b&
>previews
>she leans over an gives me a kiss
>then she takes my hand and start pulling it under her skirt
>she has a very cute little trimmed bush it feels like
>she puts my hand lower and i start rubbing on her pussy
>we mess around a bit and then leave the theater
>sitting back in the car it is dark and most of the other cars are not there
>she starts smiling at me again
>then she jumps over to my seat and straddles me
>we are kissing an making out
>she unfastened my pants and then grabs my cock
>she pulls her panties to the side and puts me inside of her
>feelsgoodman
>she starts riding me harder
>as she is going she is starting to make strange sounds
>and she is loud, real loud
>then she says, "oh yuaa fffoookk maaayy" in a deaf voice
Fag
>she has her eyes closed and I am asking her if she is okay
>feels so good though and i start moaning
>i get louder until i am almost shouting
>i fucking cum inside her deaf pussy
>she is breathing heavy but gives me a big smile and then climbs back over to own seat
>we sit there for a bit and then finally I ask her why she didn't tell me she was deaf
>she just smiles again and pulls me in to a kiss
>I drive her home and walk her up to the door
>she turn to me and theenk yuu foooa aa loaavly eevvneen
>I ask her if I can see her again
>she smiles, gives me another kiss and then goes inside
>the best night of my life and nothing has even come close
You should have pulled out the meat stick, and just start jacking it right in the theater. You need to scream loud moaning noises that will drown out the sounds from the theater. I'm talking about some death metal growls, mixed in with some michael jackson screams. Then pull out the the 9 inch dildo that you keep in your back pocket, and just ram it down your asshole balls and all. Then jizz.
WerA dah 3 fiddah
the detail here leave me to believe you have your own experiences with this user.
Cool story bro, but how did your hand make deaf sounds? Hint: it didnt cause its deaf
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Bro can't you just enjoy his story without turning it into something? SOOOoooooOOOOO wacky!
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Choose to hide behind memes instead of speaking your mind. No one will remember you, but is this how you want to remember yourself?
I have never seen this one before. damn user, post something better to contribute or gtfo.
I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you
God what a dumb story in a shit thread.
The thing is, people don't realize the work that goes into properly doing copypasta. They think copypasta is something that slackers can do, or faggots, or assholes. It's not true. Copypasta is a dying artform and if you don't see that, I don't know what's wrong with you.
First of all, you sacrifice spending real time on Sup Forums. You can't participate as much as you'd like to because you're so busy doing copypasta that you can't. As a result, you miss a lot of really great threads. Still, it's a sacrifice, so you do it.
There's also the problem of "Flood detected". This message can really hurt your progress. You should try to get your copypasta into every active thread and if you have to sit there waiting before the flood period is over, you lose valuable time. This is also very difficult.
Also, picking which threads should get a copypasta first are sort of difficult. There are threads that don't stay on the first page for very long, so you may be missing some of the more prominent threads. Of course, you should try to hit them all, but for the desire effect, you need to get into bigger threads quickly.
Finally, there's the moral problem. One thing about copypasta is that sometimes it feels good, but sometimes it feels bad.
I got set up with a blind girl years ago. Somewhere along the way during the date we ended up at an all night diner drinking coffee and eating cheesecake, and I pulled the "Look at that"trick to steal a piece of hers because along the way I forgot. My "Oh God I didn't" cry of despair made her laugh so hard her panties fell down. Well they would have if she wore any that is. She was a hell demon in the sack, and anywhere you could bend her over. That offhanded blunder opened the gates of my dick's heaven.
You choose your purpose blindly. You devote your beautiful mind to mundane ideals that exist as long as a goldfish. No one wants to be like you, no one calls everything copypasta.
You my friend, fucked up. Good luck getting your shit back. Right now, I'm a click away from using an SQL injection attack to gain access to the database of this website and gain your login credentials, as well as your IP address. You think I'm joking? I'll then proceed to leak your IP address onto my hacker forums, and then using an IP locator, I'll easily find your house and your name. With that I can access your social media accounts and proceed to ruin your life. You think I'm bluffing? You think that just because a bunch of 7 year old dipshits say they can "hack", but actually can't, that I can't either? Let me shatter that facade for you. Using my team of hackers, we can trace what websites you've visited and what keystrokes you've used, and with that, I can get into your parents' bank account. I can drain it and make you dirt poor. Have you ever felt what it's like to be homeless? Well, you're about to. I can also use cross-site scripting to redirect your web browser to one of my private sites, and download child porn onto your computer and get your parents locked up in prison. I'm your worst fucking nightmare, and I'm about to make you endure living Hell. I'm nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Have fun regretting your existence, shithead.
le
OP here. That is what I am saying. I think blink chicks are the silent freaks I have been hearing about. It was the best night of my live and I to this day I still think about what happened to her.
Just stop. If you ever post here again, I will fuckin’ choke slam you into a coffee table, with any luck it will be one of those old school antique coffee tables that was made out of the really good wood from deep in the fucking forest and not that Ikea bitch that explodes like a fucking stunt table. I will put you right through it, and pull you up by your god damn larynx and then right through the dry wall, my hand would be disappearing into the wall like I just fisted a fucking horse. Then I’d pull you out, you’d have plaster all over your fucking hair, you’d be deprived of 3 quarters of your oxygen, and you’d start to cry. Then I’d just whisper into your ear, really calmly, like one of those bad guys in one of those great 80’s movies with Mel Gibson, or fucking Stallone or whatever, where once the goons would get him tied up and the head bad guy that’s running bitch would come in all relaxed with his dress shoes and suit and would just come up and put his face like parallel to the other dude’s face and just come in and whisper in the guy’s ear nice and calmly. That’s what I’d do to you, as you’re struggling to breath, I’d put my head right next to your ear and just be like “If you ever post in this section again, I will fucking kill you. You understand me? The only reason you’re not dead right now is because I haven’t figured out how to get away with it yet. If you even come in this section again, I swear to god, I will grab you by your fucking baby fat and the top of your fucking head and I will throw you upside down through a bay window” As you sit out there in the rain, picking the glass and the wood shards out of your body, I’m gonna take a tray of hot macaroni and throw it right on your fucking face. That’s what I’ll do if you ever post here again.
You overcooked your noodles bro. Get out the kitchen.
mother fucker you dont know who the fuck i am, you are a fag who likes sticking it in guys asses and you best believe that you'd be the one getting crammed in your fuckin rear by my Ukranian Fort-500 shotgun before i blow your fucking guts out your chest you faggit little bitch your fucking pathetic you best hope i never head to your town, i'll find yeah and shank you in your sleep, you wanna die motherfucker? faggit little cracker, hahaha I betyou aint ever even gotten and coochie, huh? ever got any pussy? i dont even keep count anymore, but it is definately past 35 cuz thats where i lost count bout a year or two ago, added a few since then, so ask yourseld, should your faggit no coochie gettin bitch ass maybe try to shut the fuck up, or do you want to hear more about how fuckin gay and lame you are? you cocksucking homo bastard go kill yourself you worthless chunk of shit, your useless and lame as fuck, and i cant wait to show your gay ass faggit no roastin abilities, you couldn't talk shit even if you ate shit, go slit your wrists you aint cool at all give up on your gay ass life.
Give me another one. Waste your time more.
Fuck you and culture i fucking hate how thing are turning in this thread. I was stalking b/ before you, you were shiting your pant as a kid would do when i started doing man's stuff as fucking, smoking, being a thugs. I hate you because you are a bitch who think the world is turning around yourself. I fucking hate how the world is and i hate fucking you. I did the war, i was a marin, i was a lawyer, i did everything a man can do, who are you to talk to me like that ? Do you really think cookie are so simple to cook ? NO ! because you need sugar. So next time you want to play like a man, take a little bit more of oxygen in your poket because i on't play pokemon go everyday as you do, i never do ! I was stalking b/ before you, you were shiting your pant as a kid would do when i started doing man's stuff as fucking, smoking, being a thugs. I hate you because you are a bitch who think the world is turning around yourself.
a
>Wants to be remembered on an anonymous website
Way to twist my words and take the time to do it. I want you to remember how shitty you are and nothing else.
>Calls people shitty
>Does nothing but act like a complete asshat
Why are deaf chicks always sluts?
Holy shit, I never thought I'd get the chance to tell this story. I can't tell people in real life because they will never believe me, and I guess you will probably call me a liar too, but whatever.
I went on a date with Taylor Swift before she got super famous. It was right out of high school, when she was making a name for herself, but not yet a gigantic deal. I knew her because we lived near each other. It was the craziest thing, really, I only asked her out on a dare because even not famous, she was way out of my league. But it turns out she was really nice and enjoyed the opportunity to go hang out for a while (she always had a reputation as a girl who burns the candle at both ends, and she's always stressed, so I think she just wanted to relax). It was a pretty basic "just out of high school" date. We went to see a movie and I got to feel like a jackass rolling up to her super nice house in my POS datsun honeybee. Don't let her early work fool you, she's a rich kid.
Anyway, on to the crap you guys are actually wanting to hear about. So, after the movie and some dinner, we go back to my place to listen to some music. After a while, she pretends to be interested in checking out the hiking trails out behind my house. She said she really enjoys being out in the woods, but I figured she just wanted to be away from my parents. So we get out into the woods and very quickly get into some heavy making out. Clothes go everywhere, and that's when this story starts to take its turn.
Gentlemen, I have some things to tell you about Taylor Swift. First thing: turns out she loves giving head. Pretty much the most enthusiastic beej of my life happened on that trail. She couldn't get enough. However, she's terrible at it. She's got heart, but I hope for all future guys' sakes that she took some lessons. She's all teeth, and she's got that thing where her tongue is just ridiculously rough. After a while of that, we get down to the main event. Another thing you should know about her is that she is somewhat...hairier than one might expect from a super hot rich girl. I never got to ask her what was up with that, actually. So anyway, we're getting our awkward teenage bone on, and she's just as crazy as she was before. Except this time she's just straight up clawing my back to shreds. I'm not going to pretend I didn't make it where I needed to go, but god DAMN, I was expecting some kind of revelation from her. It was one of those things where it is so disappointing because you had expected so much from it.
So, after it was all said and done, we're putting our clothes back on, when I notice that I'm actually bleeding from my back. I had known she had her heart in it, but I didn't expect for her to draw blood. But then I realised her nails were longer and sharper than I had noticed before.
And that's when I started to put it all together.
She clawed my back. Her BJ was all teeth. She likes being in the woods. She went on a date with a guy driving a Datsun Honeybee.
Guys, Taylor Swift is a motherfucking bear.
I must have shown on my face when I put it all together, because she got a glint in her beady black eyes and roared. I didn't even bother putting my clothes back on, I just ran for dear life. Luckily, I knew the woods behind my house better than she did. Even more luckily, I was able to squeeze through some spots that her 1000lb frame just couldn't get. Winter was coming soon, I knew if she caught me I'd be killed and stuffed into the cave she cleverly disguised as an expansive suburban home so that she could keep her energy up before hibernation began. I eventually wound up hiding in a stump by a stream until she gave up and left. It was the most frightening thing to ever happen to me in my life.
You respond better to shit. Maybe if you're shown some shit you can identify your own. Maybe I shouldn't give a fuck about you but I do because I love you.
BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....
BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF
Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....
BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT
Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….
>i fucking cum inside her deaf pussy
Anal is the best way to prevent babies. the first question i ask on the first date is "are you into anal?" if the answer is no, im gone. could be in the middle of dinner, or a walk on the beach. if they say no, i go. if they dont like anal i put on my flannel. simple as that. and oral isnt a substitution. i can do that by myself. the key is to put your biceps under your thighs and push yourself together like a waffle maker. once you get the tip you'll want to keep at it.
thread gave me AIDS, but I lol'd anyway.
Also have the weirdest boner right now
Can I caress your girthy jizz tank with my swirling tongue as your erection begins to swell in my mouth and i suck you until you empty your seed in me so i can ingest every last drop?
If so, I'd appreciate too being allowed to penetrate your puckered asshole with my tongue and explore the taste and feeling of the recesses of your rectum.
Next I'd take my penis and rub the shaft just to satisfy myself the slightest bit while you're orgasmically immobilized body lies there, ass up. I climb over the covers like an ape, feeling the obtrusive warm flesh of your soon-destroyed ass brush up against my chest. I lay all my weight onto your back. My knees press into the soft backsides of your thighs. My cock finds a groove between your cheeks and it hardens to poke your salivated anus.
I go in with no lube, feeling my warm hairy balls slap against your taint. You groan incessantly, growing louder and fiercer each time my shiny head presses up to your prostate. I can tell you're in agony and that you enjoy it.
By the time I'm almost ready to blow I tear my cock out of you and lie down on my back. I grab you by the throat (for a brief moment I could tell you enjoyed it) and drag you over to my side of the bed. I press your warm face to my stomach and push you down to the flesh right above my groin. I pound the hell out of my cock until I feel my warm ooze beginning to flow up my shaft. If you'll let me, I'd soak your cheeks in jizz until it drips into your mouth. Then, I request, we make out and share my seed and your saliva. At last, if you'll fully agree to it, I'd like to cuddle with you until the evening comes.
It's just a question though, no homo.