Any medfags on?

any medfags on?

TLDR
>laxatives with an impacted stool

been fighting a shit for the last 2 days
way to big to fit through my ass
so i thought id feel it turtle heading out my ass
hard as a fucking rock

so i went to a pharmacy about an hour ago to get some stool softener
only realized an hour after iv taken double dosage its actually a laxative
online page for the meds specifically say dont use this with fecal impaction

much too late now, i can already feel my stomach growling
did i just give myself the shits with essentially a plug in my ass??
am i going to become a boomer?

>inb4 shoulda practiced on a dragon dildo

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Fecal_vomiting
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_vomiting
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

I NEED HEALING

for real man an i going the boomer way?
i dont want to die in an explosion of shit

Magnesium citrate, right by the laxatives, liquifies everything, drink the whole bottle. It's what they give you to take before you get a colonoscopy done.

No, you're not going to explode, at worst you're just going to vomit out the shit, at best you'll just keel over

iv drank that shit before
spent a whole night on toilet
but sadly its too late now pharmacies have already closed
thats why im worried as fuck

>vomit out the shit
i might just prefer a shit explosion over that

Dude just get an enema

You're better off just dying because first you vomit it out, then you have to get a surgery for your destroyed intestines, then you have to keep a bag connected to the inside of your body 24/7 to hold the shit in it

Sorry dude, but I'm pissin myself laughing at your predicament...

you dont have a wal-mart or some other 24 hour store? you can probably get stool softener at the gas station even

There are stores aside from pharmacies that should sell it.

No, worst case is you rupture an intestine or your rectum and you get stuck with a colostomy bag for the rest of your now shitty life.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Fecal_vomiting

god damn
im about ready to dig it out with a fucking spoon

yup
the humor of the situations isnt lost to me
though im to scared to laugh

nope
its 6 30pm here
everythings closed


fuck id give myself an enema to soften this shit
but i dont have a pipe

Dude, don't panic. I've had this before, the answer is glycerine suppositories. They pull water from your bowels to lube the turd up.

I went for 5 days with a rock hard baseball sized fucker up there and this did the trick.

Don't be a pussy, just reach up in there and break it up with your hands.

I know it sounds disgusting but just do it. Better than fucking dying from when your intestines blow out and leak shit all up in your abdomen.

Unscrew your shower head and press the pipe against your brown eye, turn it on. I've done this before as a ghetto enema. Hurts like Fuck but it works.

ill give that a try first thing in the morning once places open up again

i tried, its rock hard

user please
please user no
it hurts to laugh

>Cut a hole in top of water bottle with tiny cap
>go to shower
>stand on your head, feet on wall
>insert into anus
>squeeze and repeat

Godspeed user

I'm actually not kidding about the shower thing, I've genuinely done this and it genuinely works.

I guess you could say op is having a pretty shit night

jesus that fucking terrifying

oh well best i can do now is hope the self induced liquid shit softens the turd before i either explode or vomit up shit

thanks for the advice anons

Seriously, the shower thing is better than exploding

Tell us what happens after fajit

I'm praying for you user

you cant vomit shit i though you already uinderstood the fucking joke

its not possible
nothing will happen to you
you may have a little anal bleed afterwards but you gonna be ok

fucking faggot

Bump so others can find this and feel anons pain

>2009.
>Not taken a shit for 4 days.
>Feel like i'm fucking pregnant.
>My ass is literally hurting.
>Take laxatives, poops out a tiny, rock hard nugget.
>Fuck.
>Stomach is fucked.
>Call doctor, "oh just drink lots of water"...
>Fuck you doctor.
>5th day, sick and tired of it, get's genius idea.
>Goes into bedroom, get my bottle of lube.
>Go into bathroom, show opening of lube bottle against my anus, squeeze bottle hard.
>Almost all of the 500 ml of lube goes in.
>Lie down, legs up against wall.
>Guts are making War Of The Worlds noises.
>15-20 minutes later, can't hold it any more.
>Plant my ass on the toilet, take a few deep breaths and PUSH!
>Give anal birth to a fucking turd the size of my forearm.
>Anus hurts like hell, but I welcome it.
>Then it just continues. I shit non stop for what feels like eternity.
>The smell is like a thousand rotting eggs.
>Finally done, struggle to flush it.
>Leave bathroom feeling like a completely new person.
Lesson learned? When in doubt/pain, use lube. Lot's of lube.

I think OP is full of shit!!

post turd pic when you get it out.

>>Give anal birth to a fucking turd the size of my forearm.

...

I hope I never have this problem! I take like 3 to 4 nasty greasy shits a day so I'm opposite I guess.

I was just thinking that. "Shouldn't lube help?"
Kek. Good on you.

actually you totally can

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_vomiting

I know that feeling after. It's like you lost 150 lbs.
Your ass feels reborn.

this

you can most certainly vomit shit

Had this same problem when I ate a Domino's Pizza back in 2011. I drank milk of magnesia, and wait and wait, but that turd was as solid as a rock inside of me. God damn that was the toughest crap I've taken in centuries. Literally felt like a gigantic rock was lodged inside of my rectum.

I finally shat it out and my rectum was bleeding and I felt like I shat out a giant rocked incised in sandpaper. Jesus Christ. That was the last I ever roughed a Domino's Pizza.