Stop masturbating or you will burn in Hell for all eternity!

Stop masturbating or you will burn in Hell for all eternity!

I'm warning you!

What if I get another guy to masturbate me tho?

Y O U R E A L R E A D Y T H E R E ,
F U C K E R .

You're dragging someone to Hell with you!

God here,

Fuck off

...

So, what's the limit? I mean, if we can jerk it a certain number of times, I'd like to make sure I reach that limit before I die. I'd hate to waste an opportunity for a good wank.

is the burning in hell caused by all the friction from masturbating?

DELET THIS! THIS IS A HOLY THREAD!

But what if... it's a feminine benis??? I gotta know OP.

What about masturbating to the bible?

no. fuck you.

If you're not married, you're going to Hell!

whoopty shit

N i c e
And that didn't answer the question OP ;)

Glad somebody likes it.

I am straight, away, you vile sinner!

STOP IT! YOU'RE A MALE!

No prob user

Shit came cascading out of my body into a welcoming toilet bowl.

^-- Better idea: masturbate to that

You doubt my devotion to God?

What if it's your priest or pastor masturbating you?

I don't feel like worshiping a God who cares that much about how I touch my dick in private

My pastor would do no such thing.

Of course not OP, everyone just needs to chill every so often
W e l l t h e n a n o n, g o t s o m e t h i n g t o s a y?

Is it truly worth your damnation?

I doubt your devotion to God. You should put yourself through the tests of Job and prove it.

does that rat have tits?

Not like I have much to care about in this life, might as well have a good damn time while I'm here my dude.
Is Capitalism superior to Communism?

I will not fall for temptation, sinner!

Also, just remember all your God's laws and rules when you think about shooting up that school in a few years. You look like the type, and you're obviously insane, believing in imaginary men in the sky.

I want to take that as a yes, but there's a lot of loony lefties these days. Either way I am currently jacking it to the rat