This face terrifies the prog and metal fag

>this face terrifies the prog and metal fag

Why should I be terrified of an elderly gay man?

Not for me (prog rock fan). I'm starting to like him and value his opinion the more I read his website - despite our difference in tastes he quite clearly knows his shit and admits himself many readers have learned to 'read around his prejudices'.

Generally if he gives an A or A+ to an album in a genre I enjoy, then it's going to be something I like or even love.

i like how his eyes reflect the years of abuse inflicted on him by metal Chads

>tfw still can't make sense of his reviews

>metal
>Chad

(laughs)

hes gay? he has rhe taste of a straight white cis guy

>tfw literate enough to understand his reviews

>Soulja Boy
>Nicki Manji

He lives with his long-time wife so I very much doubt it. He does however have the quiet, nervous demeanor that some ignorant people may mistake for campness.

jesus christ all those sjw words i just puked in my mouth
please go back to tumblr

As I said, in genres I like. I fucking hate hip hop/rap no matter how clever the lyrics and I'm largely indifferent to most modern pop so A/A+ albums in these genres are not relevant to me.

>never heard of this guy
>look him up expecting some old dad rocker to be reviewing burzum, death, or some shit
>closest thing I can find to a metal review on his site is a limp bizkit review

Huh
Whats this guy got to do with metal

What the fuck were you looking for?

Also, learn to Wikipedia, this guy isn't just some internet nonentity.

the original nu-male

>I fucking hate hip hop/rap
Why?

he's not a nu-male

1) Musically I find it repetitive and boring. I like a variety of instruments and sounds, not an endless looping drum beat etc. or samples of other music e.g. Ray Charles.
2) I don't enjoy the vocal style. I want to hear actual singing, whereas rap is closer to just spoken word or sometimes shouting to my ears.
3) The subject matters are by and large boring and irrelevant to me. I'm not impressed by someone's relentless drive for money/fame/"bitches", their fall-outs with other celebrities, their narcisstic bleeting about their rise to fame, their introspective laments on their difficult childhoods. It's fucking boring and unimaginative.
4) I find much of the culture surrounding it very childish, not just point 3 (which is fucking childish) but 'diss tracks', the neverending use of sexist/homophobic/racist language. Again, it's fucking boring.
5) I'm Scottish. It's completely irrelevant to my culture and the music I grew up with.
6) Finally and most importantly, I do not find it beautiful. All music I choose to listen to I must find beautiful in at least some way, whether it is the lyrics or the music itself. Clever just isn't enough for me, and I am well aware that some hip-hop music is clever - that's not the same as enjoyable though. I don't listen to fucking minimalist classical music either for the same reason.

Christgau's a big Afropop fan but although I've given some funk and R&B albums a shot, they rarely manage to produce good songs, just dance grooves.

Let me redirect you to your home board,

t. assmad nu-male

You thought he was Scaruffi, didn't you.

No scaruffi actually reviews metal and his face is such a meme theres no way one could confuse it

I'm not terrified by a retarded pleb.

Shhh. Shh. It's okay little guy, just go back to your board.

So am I to understand I've just got away unscathed after picking apart everything I despise about hip hop on Sup Forums?

The only truly retarded thing you said was about minimalism being "just" clever.

>5) I'm Scottish. It's completely irrelevant to my culture and the music I grew up with
That's a rather lazy argument.
>6) Finally and most importantly, I do not find it beautiful. All music I choose to listen to I must find beautiful in at least some way, whether it is the lyrics or the music itself
Also lazy argument because beauty is subjective.

Well, not all minimalism. It can be great in some contexts. Minimalist classical music on the other hand I'm yet to be convinced, although there's a much higher chance of that happening than my suddenly finding hip-hop music that appeals to me.

Hip-hop is based on rhythm rather than melody; this may be one reason white people have a hard time digesting it.

>"explain your taste to me"
>okay, i like x, y, and z
>"that's just, like, your opinion man...not an argument!"

Claiming a particular form of music sucks because it doesn't relate to your culture/demographic is not a valid argument.

>pro-tools
>"rhythm"

>That's a rather lazy argument

It's not an argument, it's my own opinion. I find that there's very little in rap music I can relate to as in my experience if it's not of the introspective type then it is extremely insular therefore also not relatable to me.

>Also lazy because beauty is subjective

Again you need to realise the difference between an argument and an opinion; furthermore I didn't claim that beauty is not subjective, I clearly said "I do not find it beautiful".

>Caring about what reviewers have to say

guffaw

>Claiming a particular form of music sucks because it doesn't relate to your culture/demographic
I'll take things that never happened for 300.

He never said it sucked, you dolt, he said he doesn't enjoy it.

You're not quite getting this are you? I didn't say "it sucks", I said "I hate it" and outlined the reasons why I hate it. Other people are perfectly entitled to like it I and I won't think any less of them for it (unless they attempt to fucking shove it down my throat).

I also find not being able to relate to something is a valid reason (to use a more suitable word) in this context. Bob Marley for example, his music I can relate to even though it is far removed from my culture as he sings about common human themes of love, faith and inequality, even in songs that are insular for example 'No Woman, No Cry' - it is a love song at its core regardless of its setting of 'the government yard in Trenchtown'.

I cannot however relate to a hip-hop song about pimping out women or wanting to kill someone over a minor slight. It's not relatable on even a basic human level to me, and given that I don't like the overall sound of the music that doesn't fucking help.

>I cannot however relate to a hip-hop song about pimping out women or wanting to kill someone over a minor slight

I can enjoy them as camp.

Metal in the 1950s?

I respect Scaruffi, I don't respect Christgau.

>this man thinks Souljaboytellem.com is better than every single Black Sabbath record

How to make a song Christgau will like:

1. Catchy
2. Loud
3. Left-wing
4. Optimistic
5. Helps if the artist is from NYC