Purely theoretical scenario:

Purely theoretical scenario:

>>Come home from work
>>Find door open
>>No one is supposed to be home
>>Get switchblade from car
>>Hear footsteps down stair
>>Hide behind wall
>>See guy I don't know
>>Few stabs, he's down, break neck
>>Realize I live in country where it is not legal to kill someone breaking and entering on your property
>>Blood on floor and walls
>>Have 3 hours before family comes home
>>Have access to regular household items (garbage bags), have garage where I can pull in my car

What would be Sup Forums's advice?

Fap to traps

First steps would be to get that body into several smaller pieces and into bags. Use bleach and some rags to clean up the blood, then put the rags away with the pieces. Get the bags somewhere safe until you can do something about them. When you get a chance, go to a local construction supply store and buy a few buckets of muriatic acid. You'll disolve the body parts in these. After dispose of the substance in a sewage drain, or somewhere similar.

Theoretically, that is.

That's dumb, just say the body is a Halloween prop

>call cops
>breaking and entering
>self defense
>it was dark, I feared for my life

This OP, even if you live in a 3rd world shithole or otherwise, you should take no chances

Well after you turn off your cell phone, and the dead mans, you can begin. Yeah you're not gonna have enough time to cut up a fucking body. Bag it up as best you can or wrap it in a blanket & then put it in the car you will use to go to your next destination. Spend the rest of the time cleaning up everything with bleach and other shit & be sure to bring your trash items with you. (Don't throw them in the family garbage can, fag). Once this is done clean it again, because you missed something. And if you have time, clean it again. Cover the body with shit put it in your car don't get pulled over then go to the dump site. You're gonna have to dig for probably 3 or 4 hours, in a REMOTE location. Don't be fucking lazy. Dumb it there, pour bleach everywhere. Dump dead guys phone 50 miles in the other direction. Burn whatever materials you have left. Clean out car. Check in motel. Take shower. Go home. Take nother shower. Don't speak of it again.

Theoretically:

>>I would start cutting and realize there's still a lot of blood that would come out
>>Would try mopping up some, very sticky

How would one minimize the mess? What would one do about all the blood?

>kill your family
>go to jail
pick one

Bleach cleans up blood
If there was a way to get the remains into your septic tank...

>Not getting your pistol from vehicle
Done fucked up.

what shithole do you live in? Most countries in the world have some sort of 'Castle Doctrine'.

Should just bury the body in the back yard. It shouldn't take 3 hours for that.

Theoretically:

>> There's an old septic tank that's out of use under the house, accessible through garage
>> I could grab a few bags of fast cement from the store
>> I don't know if it would be a good idea

1. Move corpse to trunk -- Put down waterproof surface to avoid blood stains.
2. Clean the shit out of your house. I'm not talking clean enough I'm talking god damn mommy clean. That bitch better not know what's up.
3. Locate workshop -- That body needs to be processed before it's gotten rid of. The Garage might be good, but it can be dicy. You need a place to work absolutely undisturbed.
4. Caffine run -- You're going to be up all night carving that corpse into bite-sized delectables.
5. Food run -- You're going to be using food to mask the scent. Bonus points if it's cooked. Note: Don't just buy a shitload of chineese and call it a day. Police will notice if you spent $400 at Uncle Mao's.
6. When body is prepared, put into various garbage bags -- you are now the goddamned delivery man.
7. Place garbage bags in various dumpsters -- Best if outside your city limits and in fast food restaurant dumpsters. Proximity to fast food restaurants will further mask the smell and garbage trucks come more often.

Make sure that body is as unrecognizable as possible and that you leave nothing behind. This may be a race against the clock but fucking up will land you in Asspoundcatraz.

If no recognizable body part is found by garbage day, it likely never will.

8. Find de-stressing solo activities. You will be a nervous mess and being around people might make you say shit you don't want to say. Working out alone and playing with a pet should work well amongst other things.

Lay off the alcohol. You may want to forget what happened but alcohol loosens lips and you can't be sure of what you say blacked out.

Find jugs in your house, empty juice bottles, milk containers etc. Cut the persons vital areas and drain them.

Find some dodgy pig farmer pigs eat everything even bone

Theoretically:

>> Told wife to get kid from karate and meet with me at a restaurant cause I have some business around there and would like to have lunch together, 2 hour drive there ...
>> plenty of time

Eastern Europe, guns are banned

That sounds stupid, I have like 4 neighbors linked to my backyard that could see me. It's broad daylight outside

All countries allow you to defend yourself. Put a knife in his hand and stay you were cornered and threatened.

figure out how you could have made the wounds you did from in front of him and tell that story until you're blue in the face. would help if you cut yourself with the knife in his hands first.

A ban on guns does not mean you have to roll over and die if someone attacks you. Make them look like the aggressor and you defended yourself.

Burn the body and hide the skull without the skull they can't find the person's info

Theoretically:
>>Need a good excuse for this as well

Clean the blade with bleach.
Stab yourself once or twice.
Get the other dude's blood on the knife again.
Claim self defense.

How autistic do you have to be to come up with this retarded scenario?

Theoretically:

Too late for that, halfway through the elbow. Also I don't wanna get into the legal mess. It would fuck up my reputation at work and it would get me into a never-ending mess.I don't wanna go under a lens.

I'd rather they'll not be found at all. Don't know what to do about the head.
Thanks for your concern, but lucky for me and unlucky for him is that I suffer from a psychological condition that doesn't allow me to feel fear, stress and moral bullshit.