Be honest. You would pledge yourself

Be honest. You would pledge yourself.

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Nigga I'd be part of the OG unit that broke out of Azkaban in the 5th film

Harry before the dark edgy shit was best

What happened to your faaaaaaaaaaace?

I thought he was supposed to be in the business of keeping blood lines pure but considering how many asians and blacks he recruited.... no.

No I'm an adult and not some hot topic shitskin from aussieland

Yates>>>>>>>>

Cuaron started the fire

Why the FUCK would I be a racist mutherfucker, when I can jack myself off with magic.

When pornomags literally talk with you.

When dildos have PERSONALITIES

Jesus fuck FLESHLIGHTS WOULD BE REAL

I WOULD NOT LEAVE THE FUCKING HOUSE EXCEPT FOR TISSUE AND PROTIEN

Why the heck would I want to pledge myself into of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

My family senpai desu

He wanted to keep wizarding blood pure, not race

Yes.

The books are well written. They use a variety of writting styles. It's for kids, and frankly it's like the beatles of books, where it has so many different styles you get educated on HOW to read books, while still being interesting. But if you're bad mouthing the books, no ones going to agree with you.

Name the last time a kids books has been so celebrated. You can't since the berenstain bears.

theres still like 19 white people just there and not counting voldemort

basically this dont give in to the bait bro

Only if he promises not to hug me

>The books are well written
t. someone that doesn't actually read

Daily reminder that Voldemort did nothing wrong.

>hermione, ginny and luna all rejected my sexual advances
I'd pledge myself in a heart beat

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The Hungry Caterpillar, His Dark Materials, Holes, the list could go on.

>holes

Anything from the trolley, Dears? btw, I'm actually 200 years old and my sweets can turn into grenades and I can turn my arms into spikes like the T-1000

They are good children books, as in they have an interesting setting and lore.
But God dammed, Rowling is one shitty writer when it comes to giving characters personalities, specially Harry, she lacks literary subtlety and has to make every character announce their feelings/intentions, to the point that characters become caricatures, I tried to read the order of the Phoenix s couple years ago but could get pass the First few chapters because fucking Harry is angsty and s huge cry baby faggot, a girl in a boy's body. It even makes ASOIAF like the Iliad m

>reading ASOIAF
Harry was always supposed to be a normie

Neville....

>less capable wizards
>Hermione exists

I don't understand. When was harry supposed to be a normie?

>they have an interesting setting and lore.
>an abundance of arbitrary trivia makes something interesting

Implying that in 100 years people will still be talking like 2012...

The first book is decent and my autism wouldn't allow me to drop the books after starting them, besides is not that time consuming. But if someone asked for a recommendation of high fantasy i would suggest them Malasan instead.

its not an excuse. hes just supposed to be exceptionally ordinary. the entire thing about the prophecy with him and neville is that he could have been just like neville and vice versa, had voldemort not acted out of hubris and created him as an equal

I'd pull my concealed carry and mow them down

She made Dumbledore a complete fucking asshole with 200 pages left in the final book. His plan from the start was to get Harry killed.

The world setting is kinda cool actually, I liked how the magic world and the muggle where intertwined, like the train station, Dyagon Alley, the ministry of magic. The settings are pretty cool, it is just that the writting is so shitty...

>For a long time I thought this story took place before firearms caught on.
>ask weeb black friend
>says it takes place in the fucking 90s

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but he wasnt wrong

Im an american and i fucking hate you all

his plan wasn't necessarily that Harry would be killed, however he did understand that the necessity for it might exist
remember he actively participated in 2 separate magical wars, he understood sacrifice

As I said, shitty writing. The only real good thing she did is creating an interesting setting.

woah
i guess i never thought of it this way
well, i guess it's time to side with uncle voldy

Be honest. You would pledge your dick.

Its not like dumbledore didnt care about Harry, at least the movies enforced this. It was just necessary that he be protected until the close

My sentiments exactly. Rowling's magic world has no place for the numinous. It is written for people whose imaginative lives are confined to TV cartoons, and the exaggerated (more exciting, not threatening) mirror-worlds of soaps, reality TV and celebrity gossip.

Its values, and everything in it, are, as Gatsby said of his own world when the light had gone out of his dream, ''only personal.'' Nobody is trying to save or destroy anything beyond Harry Potter and his friends and family.

I like how they foreshadowed snape being a bro in the third film. Like when Dumbledore is talking to Snape about Harry when the kids are sleeping in the great hall. You know Snape is Dumbledores right hand man

Apparently Voldemort did

It was very shoehorned self sacrifice pathos desu, didn't liked it desu.

I love how Avatar is casually thrown in there for maximum bait

It was pretty obvious that harry was a horcrux though, I have no problem with it

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Stopping Wizardhitler is worth sacrificing some bratty trust fund baby who is a mediocre wizard at best.

I thought it fit with the hallows theme, I understand what you mean but I thought harry dropping the resurrection stone was fine

berenstein bears*

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Voldemort didn't have time for bitches, he only got off on murdering people

According to the new Harry Potter play Voldemort got Bellatrix pregnant and had an evil daughter

tbqh, Muggleborns are probably just half-bloods whose fathers got magic-cucked by a wizard

its out of character and its a feel good play

Voldemorts ppor witch mother used the imperius curse or amortentia on voldemorts rich muggle father and used him as a sex slave until they had a kid. Its why Voldemort was a reject

I know

now imagine a horny /r9k/ wizard with access to mind-control and memory spells walking down the street and seeing a hot as fuck muggle woman

this is how """muggleborns""" come to be, it just makes sense

except they would be halfblood, muggleborns have two muggle parents

I guess I didnt get your implication at first but i gotchu

this is a universe in which love potions (magic super roofies) are literally sold in stores to anyone who wants to buy them

Rowling is a sociopath

No a sociopath, just a woman.

cracked.com/article_19397_the-5-most-depraved-sex-scenes-implied-by-harry-potter.html

sounds great desu

When you really think about how powerful magic actually is the notion of living in such a world really becomes more and more scary.
Like there are curses that can completely control people and would be near impossible to trace and the possibility of creating maps that show everyone, their names and their location.
The Harry Potter world is a nightmare world

So that's why the play is called Harry Potter and the Cursed Child?

Ginny slipped Harry a love potion and his kids are doomed to be evil?

and this one isnt? id still trade places

Ginny is actually dead he snuffed her by accident with some weird sex fetish and harry duplicates her hairs, for some reason Harry is a maniac using polyjuice potion on Luna.

>not wiping the muggle scum off the planet and expanding your superior magician genes
top kek

btw, the whole "poor wizards" thing is completely retarded

how can you be poor when you can easily rob a muggle bank, use the money to buy gold, and use the gold as wizard currency

voldemort's grandparents were sociopaths who hated muggles, too, it's not like they'd have any moral objections to this

Voldemort's grandparents were also inbred retards

because some wizards domt care about wealth when they can use magic for shelter and food or even practice dark magic

>His Dark Materials

That fucking bittersweet ending that still stung like hell.

Too bad we'll never get a good movie adaptation.

>using magic for food

That's not how it works.

in real life, retards are more likely to be criminals, not less

Don't remind me, it wrecked my lonely juvenile feelings.

It could... well you wouldn't have to pay for water. Maybe youre right but I essentially mean wizards are supposed to be kind of weird and grungy. Unless they are rich purebloods. Magic would make living much easier

...

You know I probably would...


HOWEVER

nah i'm not a redditer

why was narcissa played by an old hag? wasnt she beautiful or did i remember it wrong?

>Voldemort while in school
>powerful, but also attractive and charismatic
>has the teachers wrapped around his finger, friends in high places
>has a fucking cult built around him as a teenage boy
>could easily have become Wizard Hitler democratically while also upgrading his magic
>instead becomes Snakeman and alienates everyone who isn't already a die-hard wizard nazi
doesn't make sense tbqh

the actress was supposed to play bellatrix originally

that makes sense still would've been nice to have a hot one for her possibly even a titcow

What would you do

you cant make more, that comes later

when you think about it though, the actual old pureblood families would be british, and the only way blacks and asians would become wizards is if they interbreeded.

british pureblood yes but wizards can exist in asia and africa

How many times are you gonna post this?

Nope, I would have taken over.

...

i'd drink it and try to make more and would be successful because I was so lucky.

Also crush tons of puss

are there any black death eaters?

He wanted to be immortal that's what caused him to lose his attractive appearance

>Hermione has two muggle parents and zero magical blood in her

"Pure blood" doesn't even ensure your kids will be magic. Just makes it much more likely.

Posting best girl

Dumbledore vs. Voldemort was the height of the series for me

it was pretty fucking great but i loved the dreary dreamlike atmosphere of hbp