Jehova witness just came to my door...

Jehova witness just came to my door. I answered the door in my PJs rockin a huge boner and the woman dressed in a black tent gave me this pamphlet. It just says some shit about Jesus dying.
Wtf do these people believe? She was really friendly it just seemed odd. Have you ever had to deal with Jehova witness before?

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Its a cult, just ignore them.

I've lived here 10 years and have never encountered them before

I got one of these yesterday.

Some global event is happening soon
Jesus doing a press conference or something

Yeah, once In a while they always come to my door and knock for like 5 mins until they give up and they always look through the window to see if anyone's home wtf.

Idk how but when I was a kid, my dad converted these two Jehovas in our neighborhood to Catholicism just by talking to them for 2 hours.

My dogs were going nuts I couldn't ignore them

My friend is a jehovas witness.
Dude they are more radical than islam. just not in blowing things up. they dont celebrate birthdays, christmas, and no blood transfusion. pretty fucked up people

My favorite part of their bible is when they talk about Jesus in America with the Indians in their castles.

Haha my dog does that sometimes too and I have no choice to open it.

Show us the boner OP

>and no blood transfusion
Sikh fag here. Sikhs don't believe in this either, or organ transplants or donations. "We" believe that someone's body must remain intact; that's why traditional sikhs wear turbans. In western countries, I live in canada, they're more accustomed to western medicine but hardliner sikhs won't even get a tumour removed because It's part of their body

That's Mormonism

Does anyone get those Mormons who come to the door and never fuckin stop talking, it always seems to be some white guys who somehow speak Spanish.

lol never knew that. I have many sikh friends. they never told me that

with that cover image it looks like everyone is walking towards a cliff.

The ultimate goal of Jehova witness is mass cliff jumping. Like the Indians ran bison off of cliffs, Jehova witness want to herd humanity off a cliff

I had two women come knocking on my door the other day and give me one of these, fucking johovhas witnesses, where abouts u live op?

Southern Ontario

My bad. Still pretty fucking weird.

They're nice people just a bit nuts

They're Christians who don't believe in the holy trinity or that Jesus is God but they do believe he's the son of God

It's really most similar to Islam in that there is one God and he must be worshiped

Easter is coming and this is their only celebration tbh.

t. from witness family who bailed out just in time

You're dad's fucking savage.

I had 2 ladies come and talk to me about all their stuff about that. Super nice, weren't all forcing it. Gave me some info, obviously didn't read it. Just like they didn't read my signs of no soliciting and nra member

They celebrate the resurrection or the death? This pamphlet is all about Jesus death

Nontrinitarian Christians are basically muslims without the quran

resurrection is more like a proof that you can be resurrected too (if you are a good christian)

Jesus death is the most important part because it is the price he unselfishly paid for your sins. Ergo he loves you and cares about you.
Imagine somebody telling this to a single mom right after her only child died. They get 90% of (white) believers like this.

where does op live?

knowing a JW myself i can say: kind of special people these guys. no birhtdays, prefer dying over blood transfusion and so on

also high moral standards and very strict (e.g. no fucking before married). can make it difficult to have fun with them.

after all they are honest people and im even not angry anymore when the knock at my dor since mentioned JW explained to me why they do that. its not a pleasure for them as well but they believe they rescue people by convincing people

They are handing the same pamphlets out all over australia aswell

Once. I was 13 or something and answered the door, they gave me a pamphlet and one of them pointed to my mom's mobility scooter (she had MS, wasn't fat) and startet talking about that we could find salvation in God and that he could help us overcome our ilnesses or some shit with prayer and this could help her get better.

Its fucked up telling a kid that his mothers genetical sickness is her own faut for not believing in god.

I remember being really pissed off but didn't have the balls to tell him off.
Hated them ever since

ima jw cunt and about the part of jesus dying is him sacrificing for our sins n shit

Ontario

There's a Jehovah's house where I live in France, they often come to knock at my door, they're always very kind, you can do what you want, they won't move an eyebrow, but fuck, they always come very early in the Sunday morning.

I must live in the same area as OP as this occurred this morning for me as well. Same pamphlet and everything. OP is from Athens GA.

No I'm from Toronto Ontario

The whole Cult is based on the rebuilding of society after GOD destroys it.

I found their main text, Live Forever in Paradise on Earth, in the trash and read it. Literally bullshit, as bad as mormons and ayy lmao worshipers

same thing last week.
>"we'd like to invite you to a celebration of Jesus' death."
"Jesus was resurrected. He's alive."
>silence

I always though that the church sponsored the young guy going door to door. But one of them told me that the church makes everyone spend a year or two trying to spread the word.
The whole time they are doing it, is on the person's own funds.

how does wearing a turban help one's body remain intact? or is it tying it into the whole "cant really cut hair" thing?

It's the Hair thing.

Not who you replied to BTW
They also always carry a sword/dagger as symbol of their Religious Vow to never Bow to Tyranny. Sikhs are fucking Cool.

We're not supposed to cut our hair

It's a pyramid scheme. They believe that only 144,000 people will go to heaven with Jesus (Revelation 7:4). They use (abuse) this to drive their members to recruit and donate, because only the top earners/recruiters are getting into heaven.

fucking jehovas witnesses

ive been living in the same place for 7 years, and every time they come by (which is like every other week) i tell them to please stop coming to my house. i am catholic, i literally have a small statute of the virgin mary in front of my house. i dont appreciate being woken up when im trying to sleep in. my fiancee and i work hard, and i would ignore their knocks, but it sets my dog off and basically goes on long enough that i have to wake up.

i have yelled at them, cursed at them, answered the door almost naked, ive tried asking nicely, begging, reasoning, talking, everything. I told my fiancee that the next time they knock, I'm going out the back door, around the side, turning on the hose, and fucking soaking those mother fuckers.

their whole church is a fucking scam, the watchtower magazine is fucking propaganda bullshit, they have declared the end of times on about a dozen different occasions, and just keep moving it when it arrives because they obviously made it up. they arent proper christians, nor are they proper anything else other than proper cunts, fucking denying their children medical care and birthday cake. fucking monsters.

given how long ago jesus is alleged to have lived and died i dare say those places have filled.

I'll just leave this here
youtube.com/watch?v=wnO_f5bpwF0

If i remember correctly they're pretty close to actual fundamentalist christians plus a set of rules with a gratification sheme like or something like it.
Don't invite them, they're really clingy - except you want to be introduced into a cult that forbids you to watch porn, do drugs or smile.

What else are you going to do with hair that's 5 feet long?

I don't think theyre fundamentalist in that they believe Jonah and the Whale actually happened, rather they're restorationists who want to restore Christianity to how it was in the beginning before Catholics paganised it

hhrrmmmm

from "all scripture is inspired of god and beneficial" watch tower publications 1963

"What about the "great fish" that swallowed Jonah? There has been considerable speculation as to what kind of fish this may have been. M'Clintock and Strong's Cyclopmdia (1881, Vol. 10, page 973) mentions the huge white shark (Carcharias vuzgaris), a dreaded enemy of sailors, as "quite able to swallow a man whole." It quotes authorities to show that whole bodies of men and one of a horse have been found in the bellies of these sharks. There are also other denizens of the deep with large mouths and stomachs. Nature Magazine, February, 1945, page 99, describes one of them as follows: "The sperm whale has a tremendous mouth, capable of swallowing seals, sharks or a man . . . it can bite a whaling boat in half." 6 Though it may have been one of a number of kinds of fish, the Bible record that it was a "great fish" is sufficient for our information. Incidentally, it appears Jonah has not been alone in having an experience such as this. French scientist M. de Parville, in Journal des Debuts, 1914, gives the detailed account of a sailor who spent the best part of a day in the stomach of a whale and survived the ordeal?"

pretty sure they believe it actually happened, bro

Those mormons speak perfect Spanish too, it's insane. They're nice people though

mormons are nice and cute.

You should've fucker her dude. Jehova's Witnesses are huge sluts.

I second that.

You should've made her scream for our lord and savior.
You lost your chance.

I've dealt with them. The best way to stop them is actually knowing the bible. They don't know what's in there, and they don't want to know. The last time, a guy came around with a young apprentice. They left just after the shiny light went out of the kid's eyes. Feels good.

Jonah and the whale ruined the bible