I need an impromptu anal lube quick

I need an impromptu anal lube quick

There are no sex shops around here, and my wife and I really wanna try today, so does anyone know what I can use as a replacement?

You could go to a Walmart and buy lube there

wd40

Literally any cooking oil.

lard

Walgreens and CVS sell lube near the condoms. Platinum Wet is a good brand I would suggest.

Olive oil
Veg oil
Spit
Ivory soap

Butter.

Olive oil or sunscreen

Coconut oil

Vag juice
Semen

Lamb Sauce

if she deepthroats you and gags, her mouth and throat will generate a thick slick saliva that works great as lube.

Sunscreen sounds like the fast track to Farrah Fawcette cancer

Any grocery store should sell KY.

Nigger blood

If you've got a turkey baster (or even better an actual enema bulb) you'll want to mix equal amounts of water and salt, and insert directly to the anus. Let it sit there approximately 30-45 minutes. The salt will pull moisture from your own body and create a thick slippery liquid, and you'll be ready to go!
Even better is that the salt will have dissolved by this point, and it will help you clean yourself out much easier afterwards. Hope this helps and good luck! Let me know if you have more questions!

Whatever you do, do NOT use food oils!
It's exactly the same as injecting butter directly into your veins!!!

These

Sure, okay

mashed banana

Spit is all you need

Can you prove this? This could be the best idea I've seen so far

Baby oil you mongoloid. As long as you aren't using a condom.

1 spon of toothpaste
1 spon of butter
3 spons of olive oil

enjoy it getting hotter n' hotter

This. How do people still not know this?

Put a pinch of salt under your tongue. It will feel slightly dry for just a second before becoming much more moist than before. It works similarly to this.

Whoah-ly shit. Trying it rn. Thanks for the advice

No problem!

Ben-Gay. Works like a charm.

Never reproduce.

I use gravy or jambalaya

Too late now buckaroo

Virgin olive oil

Olive oil
Vaseline
Shampoo
Hand sanitizer

Silly user! You can't reproduce with your butt!

Crisco

Did this work?

Unless you count shit as lube
I need a shower. And some xanax.

Jesus Christ we're never doing that again

Did your asshole get...... Asalted.....?