Walk into your home

>Walk into your home
>You find Taylor Swift standing there
Wat do???

Nothing

Take that overly tall bitch and throw her ass out the window. She is very average-looking, I could give a fuck.

give her some eggs.

Call the police and have her arrested for breaking and entering

Call Justin Bieber over for a threesome, and also call Stephen Hawking over to be the sole audience.

Ask her for a small loan of 50 grand to start my new internet porn website then convince her to fuck on camera so it would be a success

throat fuck her so hard she never sings again

"does this smell like chloroform to you?"

Ask her to marry me

Only right answer so far

Convince her to fuck me also take pics and then post them on ere

Ask her to give me some money.

Honestly? I'd try to hook up with her and if she was down to fuck - Awesome. I have HUGE Taylor Swift fetish and fucking her would be a dream.

But if she turned me down - I'd rape her. Seriously. There's no way I'm alone in my own home and I'm not fucking that girl. No way.

If she tried to press charges I'd say it was consensual. She came into my home without permission and threw herself at me.

I'm not into rape other than as a fantasy, but having the opportunity with HER combined with a legit chance to get away with it? I'd do it.

so you think anyone would believe you, if you say that Taylor Swift randomly came to your house?

Ignore her, pretend to read the news paper, " oh no, Taylor Swift died.... Honey, Taylor Swift died, says in the paper". Knock, Konck - Let Bruce Willis in, etc.

>overly tall
Kek you must be a manlet. Tall women = best women

I'm just saying that I'd roll the dice.

This

Taylor Swift is in your home and she doesn't wanna have sex with you.

What are you gonna do? NOT rape her?

That's no solution

Fall to the floor and sniff her feet

I'd tell her that she should learn to make decent music then Falcon Punch her right in the cooter

/thread. She's as close to perfect as it gets

Rape.

I would literally rape her over and over again until people came into my house and physically stopped me.

ask her if I can see her penis.

I would beat her until the dishes were clean.

h-hi Taylor

show her my collection of memes which will hopefully end in sex

She's pure, you sick fucks

Show her my toys and my battlestation

Even better.

>combined with a legit chance to get away with it

This is the part where delusion set in.

step 1

> heads: i knew you were trouble
> tails: shake it off
> flip coin
> force her to sing chosen song for the next couple of hours

All I'm gonna say is that when I'm done with her somebody gonna need to offer her a bowl of eggs.

[X] GENUFLECT

360 and walk away

Burn
Torture
Kill

Delete justice bikini section from my browsing history

>point my gun at her and call the cops
>press charges for breaking and entering, criminal trespass
>hire a publicist in LA and give them 10% of every speaking engagement and interview they can get me
>sue her for the mental distress caused by paparazzi following me and my family
>retire

This

pretty good

shake the money out of her

Surgically remove both of her arms just above the elbows and then make her walk around my house wearing nothing but high heels

Make sure she leaves with a cat

or even better, surgically remove both her arms and her legs but reattach them so she can't use them but they are still there. Then remove her voicebox and teeth.

Laughed hard

Ask if she wants some coffee or tea.

Get on my knees and worship her beautiful Aryan Princess feet.

>Mistake her for a coat rack
>Throw fedora at her
>Miss

step 2

Taylor Swift randomly fucking a guy then regretting it and screaming rape is a shot at reasonable doubt.

Are you familiar with the American justice system? All you need is ONE juror that says "Nope" because he knows women are lying bitches.

step 3

step 4

nope. That isn't better.

This, but I would make her blind, too.

Force her to walk around in high heels but not be able to use her arms to feel wear she's going

I would let her piss on me

You're delusional if you think any jury would set aside her celebrity.

>she could get any guy she wants, why would she break into a house to fuck some unknown loser?

Mmmmm yummy

i wud lock door swallow the key

you got my letters and vials of sperm? youre pregnant that's great! you want child support? shit.

>is a shot at reasonable doubt.

Jesus. This is delusion.

Two tihings

1) You're ignoring the part where I said I had a "chance" to get away with it. Never said It was certain that I'd walk.

2) You're the one that's delusional if you think that in a 12 person jury there's NO CHANCE at least one of them doesn't have reasonable doubt or at least want to fuck over a pretty young entitled millionaire celebrity.

>For chrissakes man, in this scenario she actually DID randomly show up in some random losers house remember?

>Walk into your home
>You find Taylor Swift standing there

There is a chance that you might get struck by lightning today, too.

Good luck with that.

I think that in a 12 person jury, there is NO CHANCE at least one of them would believe that Taylor Swift wanted to have sex with a b/tard.

>Say hi
>Awkwardly fake fandom
>Suggest dinner
>show her to kitchen

Seriously?

You're equating the chance of acquittal for rape in a country where only 6 out of every 1000 rape charges lead to conviction...

To the chance of getting struck by lightning, where the odds are 1 in 960,000 a YEAR

I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and say you've been trolling me because the alternative is you're an idiot

Either way I'm done

You really are delusional. You are not sane.

Seek therapy.

Again, you're tossing out her celebrity as if it doesn't exist when you do your math.

break her neck before she could break my heart and make a song about it

All he needs is one guy on the jury to boner when he tells his version of the story. He'll let him off for fucking her no matter what really happened.

I would

Lick her legs

Tell her I have no need for a beard

Disgusting arms. Generally speaking the only asset this chick has are her long legs, which are completely wasted by her actual muscular status.

She's pathetic.

First I would tear off her clothes like a roid-rage Hulk Hogan.

Then, I would slap her small titties until she screamed and they were burning red.

After that, I would punch her in the gut to knock the wind out of her, throw her to the floor, and take a huge, steaming shit right on her nipples.

I would wipe my ass with her hair and force her to lick my anus clean. Then I would stick a popsicle up her ass while fucking and inseminating her cunt.

Once I was finished, I would cauterize her pussy shut with a cattle brand in the shape of a giant dick.

Then I would decapitate her and eat her head.

raep

>bad skin
>deformed knees
>down syndrome
>sagging tits nearly touch her belly button

>he
Still won't let it go.

obvious samefag

o god i dream of tall women, fucking hate looking like child molester when i date

Say " oh fuck are you doing to catch a Predator now?!"

>when he tells his version of the story
So, your plan of defense in a fictitious rape trial is to take the stand and tell the jury about how Taylor Swift wanted to have sex with you. You.

And you think there is even the slightest chance that would work.

underrated

bait / retard, cant tell.

Open fire on her for violating the NAP by trespassing on my property.

>taylor swift
>pure
Pick one faggot.

She should have worn a pushup bra for this photo shoot.

ask her can I worship her feet

Oh hi, excuse the dildos.

Ask her how many rimjobs she had to give to become famous

lock all of the exits then all of the above.

Nah, i would first ask her to make some coffee, i like coffee, then i would lock the exits an----

cook her some eggs

Tell her I'm already chasing her clone.

Kill it with fire

Tell her the obvious

sex her

>YOU MUST EAT ALL THE EGGS

Ask her why the fuck she's clothed, and where the fuck my sammich is.

what a waste of time

Throw apples at her

Fuck off newfag