Cringiest childhood memories thread

Cringiest childhood memories thread

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grade 3 through 6 i used to run with my arms behind my back, thinking i'd run faster.

i'd also get
>OFFENDED DXXXX
when someone would say pokemon is stupid.

>be me 8th grade
>group of friends and I can do Mickey Mouse impressions spot on
>create and lead Mickey cult
>during lunch go to field where beaners play soccer (this was in San Diego)
>locate target
>send Mickey henchman to go tackle said targe
>roughy 10 kids sprinting at one kid chanting Mickey Mouse "ho ho"a
>kid falls
>henchman kick the shit out of kid
>friend and I on the outside of the circle chanting "consume the flesh of the fallen"
>get kicked off field
>become feared among the class

This continued for about 2 weeks until we got bored. True story btw.

in 7th grade, i slipped my dick out of my underwear so that when i was sitting in class, if you looked up my shorts you could see it. im pretty sure people saw it, but noboy ever said anything. Still makes me sweat just thinking about it. But I make sure not to forget that shit, otherwise I would be bound to repeat my cringiness.

youtube.com/watch?v=8B1rXxwX-2E

is this you?

>be me 8th grade
>chad femi beaner hybrid threw bag of peaches at shirt
>chased him
>turned around with arms flailing
>broke glasses
>SUPERCHARGE TACKLED HIM
>beat the shit out of him for five seconds
>kicked him in the stomach once whilst being separated
>"I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE" in front of computer teacher
>Chad's face bleeding
>look like psychopath, shirt has bloodstain
>fear me

that's not cringe. that's fucking amazing.

did you also think Pokémon were real?

>be me 7th grade
>reconnected with long lost cousin who's 19
>she's staying the night at my house one evening

Horny preteen.jpg

>get the idea to set my phone up in the guest room while she's in the shower
>set to record
>hide in blankets with camera peeping

TimeToWait.jpg

>hear her come out and wait for her to again exit the room
>she stays in there for a good hour
>stepmom enters her room
>decide to acquire cellphone while they're talking
>enter room and see the phone on the desk
>about shit my pants
>cousin says she found the phone in the blankets and saw me recording

Lmao yeah it's more funny than cringy I suppose

Did you get punished?

this shit here nigger.

No, she only told me in private. We kept it a secret. I hid in my room for the rest of the night. And it was never spoken of again

The Misadventures of Flapjack.
The entire show.

Watched a girl take a shit in like 3rd grade.

>then later the staff collected the shit and in looked like a cookie a squashed up.

>Then i asked the staff hey can i have that cookie

I was fucking autistic back then

when I was in grade three my friend showed me the pony.mov series. I started watching my little pony ironically. my whole class knew about it. It stopped being ironic after a bit and i got into it, so did some of my friends. Now when i see my extended family every year or two thats all anyone brings up.

>Be me, around 8
>Knew what sex was, knew that dick went into pussy
>At aunt's house.
>16-17 year old cousin with his friends I'm the back
>They ask me if I know what sex is and how girl get pregnant
>Say you piss inside them
>Mfw

3rd grade? didn't that shit come out in 2011? Aren't you a bit young to be on here?

You were 8 that shit wasn't your fault, user

I thought the same thing

I was certain i was allergic to bees, so id cry and run from bees all the way into 3rd grade. A bee stung me in 3rd grade, and i didnt cry, just made peace with dying (i was unaware id die in minutes if i was allergic to bees)

I gave away my skateboard, and told my science teacher he was a kooshbag (i had heard it from my uncle, and didn't know what a douche was)

When i lived to see the weekend, i was sure it was a miracle and promised to be good.

muchgames.com/users/fresk98023
I want to die.

Muh sides, take them

>Be me around 10 years old
>Get invited to friend's house to play legos
>fuckyeah.psd
>He has other friends there too
>tell a yo mama joke I heard in a cartoon
>silence
>Find out the kid I told the joke to, his mother passed away two weeks ago
>killmepls

I never forgot it

I got caught with my dick out of my pants in 3rd grade by my teacher and she did a facial jesture. Dont think I've ever zipped my pants up quite as fast as I did there. Zipped them b4 kids saw luckily.

Once I wrote these really disgusting sexually explicit pictures in a magazine that we had to turn back in at the end of class. I drew a really dirty cartoon girl spreading her oussy open.

I panicked when we had to turn them back in and I purposely shuffled mine out of order. This girl got in trouble for it.

The teacher thought it was her because of the order we turned them in and because the stuff was all from a female perspective "eat my wet pussy" etc...

Later it was found out that her and her brother were being sexually abused by their dad and they moved away.

I always felt bad about that.

I'm still a pervert.

Dont worry user, I used to do the same thing except in like kindergarten and I was pretending to be Sonic
I guess you can say I was running around at the speed of sound

>>Be me around 10 years old
>>Get invited to friend's house to play legos
>>fuckyeah.psd
>>He has other friends there too
>>tell a yo mama joke I heard in a cartoon
>>silence
>>Find out the kid I told the joke to, his mother passed away two weeks ago
>>killmepls
>
>I never forgot it
That happened to me in 7th grade, but I knew the kid close as hell.
Killme.jpg

I want to do a reference. But I don't remember what the movie is called. The one where the guy gets his dick stuck in the zipper

Checkd senpai

Something about mary

FRANKS N BEANS!

not really childhood but back in like 2005 my brothers friends used to pick on me a lot, tease me and tickle me winky every day just leave at like 6am before anyone else really got up. It was fun while it lastedd boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

>shit my pants at the school fair
>There were rides and animals and such
>teacher asks me if i had an accident
>Fear shes gunna beat me like my mom did whenever something happened
>Told her that guy tried to lure me somewhere and i pooped in fear
>That guy was a priest who was part of the fair attendees
>twist is, he actually was a child molester it was later found out

The real reason i shit was a goat scared me

...

>6
>Supermarket.
>In front of cashier
>"mom, take this, dad's gonna say i'm the best son ever"
>cheap ass 2L brick of cheap ass wine (0.76€)
>ihavenoson.jpg

...

...

dad wasnt ada

Elaborate?

breakast with a big man

>Be 13
>10 year old cousin wants to play truth or dare with two other cousins with me
>all three have had my 13 yr old cock in their mouth
>goes to beach next day
>10 yr old cousin brags about swishing my sperm in her mouth to her friend
>Friend thought it would be a good idea to invite one of the cousins siblings to join us
>Sibling tells aunt
>Everything breaks down

...

...

It's the thought that counts user

...

holy fuck what happen?

Playing magic the gathering.

One of the people that came to the shop made fun of me, so I fucked his sister who was in my grade after my dirtbag friend got her and her friend high as fuck, she was a virgin also.

The next year she got pregnant and went from cute as fuck to hideous as fuck, but that was middle school after all.

Holy shit I forgot about much games. Let not bring that back up

Sauce me up fampai.

>90% of Sup Forums is porn
>finally find a thread not porn related
>spammed with porn
This is why we cant have nice things user

Part 2 (sorry i hate remembering this honestly)
>Aunt and uncle decide to have ex cop friend interrogate me
>He's a cool guy and understands why kids my age play with our genitals
>Tells him
>He tells parents
>Goes home by myself embarassed
>Next day tells grandparents and they ssay just be calm
>Uncle comes over, he isn't too upset but tells my mom
>Mom comes in red faced and in tears asking what happened
>I break down and idk what to do
>Never come out of my room for an entire week

Part 3
>WEek later
>Police knock on door
>Aunt (not blood related) had went to police
>Has to go to the police station
>Nervous as fuck, my world is falling apart here
>goes to the same school with cousins siblings
>Having a fear that they may tell everyone at school what i did
>Tells officer my pants fell down and they forced themselves on me
>He saw through it
>Gets sent home
>can't be alone with female cousins ever
>When ever my door is shut to my room and their here my family will always yell for me to keep it open
>Gets reminded about this every day
>Guests one day ask why
>Can never explain why
>guests never want me to play with their kids now
>rip

>Be me
>grade 4
>kid in class wraps pogo in tin foil
>stuffs in microwave
>heats for 10 min because microwave is shot
>combustion
>huge fire erupts
>lunch lady comes running in
>fans the fucking flames
>I burst into tears
>I'm going to die
>principle runs in
>throws wet rags in fire
>didn't do shot
>pogo is chared
>fire goes out on its own
>I walk home in piss stained pants

holy fuck that sucks

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>be in 5th grade
>hung out with two kids from the neighborhood
>they were cousins
>the younger one lived one house down
>the younger one had this kid who hung around
>though he was a dick
>the two friends couldn't stand him either
>we come up with a plan
>we form a club
>we call it the gang bang club
>He wants to join
>It's 5th grad, have no idea what gang bang means, It sounded cool.
>Tell him he has to go through the test.
>we proceed to beat this kid in various ways from Indian Burns to kicking him in the nuts.
>this goes on for a couple of days
>Finally I come up with the ultimate test
>Go to my house, get out the blender. Put ketchup, ,mayo, mustard, relish, red pepper, shit ton of salt, beef, whisky, you name it in your fridge, I put it in there
>"Time for the final test. Drink it!"
>Mother fucker drank the whole god damn thing
>I look at my two friends in shock!
>go upstairs, grab one of my brothers penthouse magazines and give it to him
>Tell him he's in the Gang Bang club
>Two friends look at me like, WTF?

Years later we talked about that incident. I told them. "That kid was tough as fucking nails. He earned that Penthouse."

Dont make me user

I was 10 and my half brother was 3. He had just taken a bath and was jumping around naked in our room. I didn't understand entirely the sexuality of genitalia. I thought it was silly looking and yanked on it a lil. It tickled him and he laughed hysterically so I kept doing. Then his mom walked past, and yelled at me and told my dad. I still don't know if they thought I was like molesting him. I'm a female too, to put the story into perspective.

>Be me
>sophomore in highschool
>friend brings up the ben 10 reboot that's coming out
>we watch like 5 minutes of the first episode and "roast" it
>roast was weak but was still fun
>I talk about how ben 10 was my childhood and I remember it being pretty good
>at home later that day
>decide to watch ben 10
>ultimate alien since that was around the time I stopped watching
>pretty good
>don't stop watching
>watch all seasons eventually
>can't stop wont stop.jpg
>watch the original series, then watch alien force, even omniverse
>and watched all movies in between
>I'm obsessed
>start memorizing the species names of all of the aliens
>idea.flv
>youtube persona that's that's an extreme version of me, totally obsessed with ben 10 and very emotional about it
>Ben10UltimateFan
>think it's the best idea ever
>didn't tell anyone
>can't stop talking about ben 10
>friends pretty weirded out
>another idea
>a reboot of the ben 10 reboot that's so terrible it's good
>tell friends
>they're on board
>cont.

>cont.
>write an entire script
>friends do lines and send them to me
>visuals made in ms paint
>lots 'o' earrape
>make Ben10UltimateFan account
>upload
>we think it's hilarious
>show some other friends at school
>they think it's funny
>write episode 2
>even longer
>we make it with a couple more friends voice acting
>even funnier
>more people are starting to know about it
>more people say they want to be in it
>write episode 3
>even better than the last
>even more voice actors
>a couple of voice actors got embarrassed being in it and quit
>oh fuck
>after episode 3 people start to lose interest
>fml
>have 3 more episode written out
>no one's recorded any lines
>I put in 95% of the work for the episodes
>spend entire days working on them
>life revolves around ben 10
>still no one records their lines
>expand ben 10 knowledge
>can name almost every species from memory
>this is my life now
>mfw they stopped caring but ben 10 is my life
>mfw if anyone who's opinion I cared about found out I'd be ruined

Also my aunt had this puppy when I was 7/8 and it did something bad so I put it in a cooler for a time out. I forgot about it and it died. They called child services on me.

kek thats pretty good

My fucking sides

I was over a mormon kids house (they were all cool) and there was about 6 of us.

The kid whose house we were in started talking with his best friend and called him Semen.

I started laughing and saying, "heh, semem" and it got dead quiet.

The Semen kid looked at me with daggers in his eyes and told me they all called him by his last name--

Seaman

>MFW

Another dog story.

My mom's boyfriends dog (I was 11 or so this time) ate the last piece of pizza and my only dinner right out of my hand. I bit him in the ear so hard he bit my face, I had to get 6 stitches above my lip.


I could go on.

childhood cringe not present day cringe

>be 12
>be at aunts place
>Horny as fuck
>would touch sleeping cousins genitals when they slept
>aunt falls asleep on couch
>shes a drunk
>one of her legs is hanging over the couch
>Still awake
>lifts up her dress
>Sees her betty boop panties
>"whoa" horniest i've been
>starts pulling them off
>Sees a huge black bush fluff
>Feels the sweat from her minge and smells the fish
>Literally sick
>literal blue waffle on my aunt
>Skips aunt
>mfw im greatful my cousins clean theirs

also this isn't really childhood cringe, more like current life cringe

gold star for effort

you should've put your dick in it

rip my sides but wtf is a pogo

Not really cringy but weird I guess

I was like 10 at the time and was already getting horny and stuff but couldnt cum. So what I would do is hold my pee as long as I can and get hard to then I would go to the girls bathroom and sit on the toilet but backwards with my pants off. Then I would release it felt good I guess. I really dont know why i did that.

>Born in 2002
>14 years old
>underage b&

...

>went to private christian school grades 2-3
>go on field trip for a picnic
>user let's go play tag in the forest
>fuck yeah dude
>shit happens, end up talking about some kid's friend while he's next to me behind his back
>he tells his friend
>fuck
>"What did you say about me, user?"
>they chase me
>i hold my fucking ground
>hold up my middle finger to them and say "don't make me use this!" as if I was holding up a fucking gun but to a bunch of brainwashed kids it basically was
>looking back on that i genuinely sweat thinking about it

It'll be our secret

Dick shaped breaded weiner on a stick

oh lmao in america we call those corn dogs

dont microwave them they just get soggy. if ya want em crispy ya gotta use the oven

>be my
>8 years old
>Wanted to draw cartoons
>Make little comic strips
>Shit drawer
>The people look retarded
>Literally just heads with arms and >I tried to mix drama and humor so it attempts to be "serious" in some of the strips
>My mom still has those
>Mom showed them to my gf the other day

>Literally just heads with arms and legs

I'm confused on how this is retarded, explain?

I don't eat those anymore. They keep me up at night.

nigger you what

>Be 6
>Alone in room with 7 years old cousin
>She wants to play mom and dad but in the hospital... doctor and nurse basically
>She wanted me to be the patient
>Tell me that she sees something wrong in my ass so i have to take off pants
>Im on the bed and she is rubbing my ass
>Im starting to get a hard on
>She notices and tells me that she wants to have a better look so i have to sit on the bed
>She starts looking at it and eventually give it a kiss
>I dont even know what to do so i just stay there like a statue
>She kisses my dick a couple of more times
>Right at that moment her dad walks in
>I panic and cover myself
>She looks at him with fear and tells him "He was having pain in his thingie so i wanted to help him"
>He freaks out on us and tell my parents
>They punished us after the clasic parents beating
>We could not be alone in the same room without a parent go in and yells at us for like 6 months
>At that time my family was passing a hard time so we where living in their house
>1 year later
>Everything went normal again
>My cousin and i started a game where if she puts on a hat i had to do everything she says.
>So often wen we came home we ran for that hat
>Things started to get naughty again
>This time i stopped it when she wanted to do "more than oral"
>A couple of months later we moved out
>We still living close now
>we still giving secret looks once in a while
>Sometimes we kiss
>But we are always afraid of more

I dont really want to go any further with our thing, a couple of years ago she wanted me to have her virginity, i said no. Im 21 now and she is a 8/10 22 years old. English is not my first language btw.

Those are actually kind of cute. Post a few strips?

fake and gay

Top fucking kek user

They don't look anything like that. It's more like a deformed oval with spongebob legs and arms with those retarded stick hands

Post the 8/10 22 year old cousin but just the body and holy fucking shit you moron 8/10?!?!? Go for it you mega beta, you kiss for gods sake

Kek I can relate :p

>be 7-8 year old me
>used to wearing tighty whiteys all of my life
>mom buys me my first pair of king kong boxers
>feelsweirdman.jpg
>feels like shorts but thinner
>continue to wear my new boxers and play video games
>friend comes over
>mom calls me down
>begin to run down in my boxers
>get downstairs and nobody notices that I'm in my boxers
>get bike from garage and ride over to friends house unaware that I'm still wearing boxers
>arrive to friends house and play more video games
>have to use bathroom
>go into bathroom to take a piss
>pull down pants
>after I finish and go to pull up my pants, I noticed that I only pulled up underwear and not pants
>look down and realize that I'm in my underwear
>shit
>pull up underwear and tell my friend that I left something at home and that I need to get it
>ride home as fast as I can realizing that I had been walking around in my underwear in front of my friend and his whole damn family and no one said a damn word
>finally arrive home
>mom asks why I'm back
>explain
>she laughs and gives me some pants
>mfw I don't know if I should be proud that no one noticed or ashamed that I went around the neighborhood and in my friends house in my underwear for around 45 minutes

It doesn't even make me cringe, I laugh about it now.

cringe is not a word in Sup Forums newbie.
please leave.

>be 7 year old me
>Mom's friend needed help moving so she takes me along to help
>Mom's friend has a baby duckling with a broken leg that she's nursing back to health
>My job is to watch the duck and make sure it doesn't run away
>Easy enough. It can only hobble anyway
>There's a kitty pool full of water the duck likes to play in so I take it there
>Remember ducks sometimes go underwater
>Submarineducky.gif
>Put duck under the water but it keeps going back up immediately
>keep it under for longer like the other ducks
>Mfw I drowned a baby handicapped duckling

>be me in 7th grade
>accidently break open pen near end of class
>get ink all over desk
>grab a nearby paperclip and unfold it
>start writing with the paperclip like a homeless man's quill
>get the idea to offer other students "tattoos" for free

Fast forward to lunchtime.

>sitting around in restroom wait for people
>two kids come in and want "tattoos" so I get ready to smear ink all over their arms
>one kid asks for a shark and the other wants a fire
>slowly etch a bad rendition of a shark into some poor kid's arm
>blood starts coming out
>he doesn't say anything so I keep going out of fear
>finish and the second guy briskly takes his place with a "ME NEXT" look on his face
>do the same thing, but with more questioning my life choices
>after finishing the second one they both hand me one dollar bills...
>they tell some friends about this and return with more people
>don't want to get my shit kicked in, so I continue to eviscerate people's arms and legs
>after a while the paperclip is so covered in blood and ink that it needs washing
>clean it in sink and head over to shitty blow dryers that just warm your hands
>begin "drying" the metal clip
>get the idea to press it against the underside to suck the water up rather than blow it off
>stick metal rod into the dryer's ventilation
>the lights in the restroom flicker
>underside of blow dryer looks like a fucking firework in the night sky
>lights come back on
>small fire inside the blow dryer
>everyone scatters
>many people are questioned by school security
>no one ever finds out what happened
>MFW I got paid to give free "tattoos" in the school bathroom before starting a fire

...

>be me at 12 o 13
>Good cartoonist since 8 years old
>horny preeteen
>start to draw femenine figures at first
>in school started to draw naked girls
>after that, started to draw brutality in sex, zoophilia, necro, classmates fucking girls etc
>one day i draw a drawing that came out hitler fucking anne frank and a pair of lolis sucking big dicks
>go to home with draw
>sleep, tomorrow school
>in the morning dad found my draw
>red face
>nervous as ahit
>he calls my mom, mom looked at me and didn`t say anything, after that mom`s started to cry
>dad tells me
>This is how you waste your talent?
>mute
>mom didn`t talked to me in days
>dad too
> i never forget that
>Weighs every day of my life
fuck