ITT: Stupidest thing you've ever done while horny

ITT: Stupidest thing you've ever done while horny
>fucked a can of spam

surely it was a calculated risk with those metal edges

Fucked my sister. Seriously not a good move. Regret = massive

>be me
>be born

Damn, how old were you?

8

...

12. She was 8. Is awkward to this day.

pics of her?

Ditto to this. Seriously guys, don't fuck family members. It rarely turns out well.

Ok calm down sperg lord, there were no digital cameras in those day. Ancient fag here. So old, I'm not sure it was even illegal at the time.

I do remember my sperm was crystal clear. This was also before the internet, so we had no idea what the crystal clear stuff leaking out of her was. We panicked. Almost told on ourselves because of the scary leaking. Pedos will find this kinda hot, but not fun at the time. Or now looking back.

Lel little odd how was it?

Have you just outright asked for pictures of that? Have fun in prison you fucking pedophile

I asked for pictures of her now, not as a kid.

fingered my half sister once, at a fucking meeting. never spoke about it since, damn it was hot tho

Climbed roof of school buildings to peek into the girls shower and jerk off. But was too dark to climb down so I had to sleep on roof till sunrise and climb down. Also walked 2 miles home because my bike got stolen overnight

what does spam taste like?

Would love some pics of that hot steamy crystal clear shit leaking out of your underage sis ... you fucking pedo

salt with a ham aftertaste

Paid my step sister 20 bucks to fuck her in the ass

tried to get my best friend's mom's giant vibrator in my ass and sat down too hard.
came with the force of a thousand suns but my ass hurt for 3 weeks.

Alright, here is one of the most regretable things I've ever done
>be me
>horny as fuck
>bought a dildo a few weeks ago, but I've had no lube to use it with
>the urge is too much, walk to bathroom and look for something I can use
>can't even find any lotion, family just moved into this house
>I see icy hot
>In my drunk mind I thought it might make the cold silicone of the dildo feel warmer
>run back to my classroom and rub it generously on the dildo
>rub a little on my asshole
>put it in, feelsgoodman.jpg
>shoving it in further
>nothing is happening other than normal anal stimulation
>continue for about three minutes
>FEELBADMAN.JPG
>never anticipated i'd feel this much pain in my asshole
>literally crying in my bad
>hear my dad call me down
>ohfuckno.jpg
>he's asking me if I wanna go to ikea or something i don't know I'm just trying not to scream from the pain
>decide to take a bath
>put my asshole under the faucet to try to flush it out
>not working
>look at my phone to see what will remove it
>olive oil
>FUCKING OLIVE OIL
>I think my parents left and ran to the liquor store so i don't bother with clothes
>naked in my kitchen, find olive oil spray
>in the middle of my kitchen, spreading my asshole as far as I can and spraying it in
>dad walks in the living room
>decide to hide in the pantry
>sit there naked with a burning asshole for two fucking hours until he falls asleep drunk on the couch

Used a banana as a fleshlight in middle school.

Lovely spam, wonderful spam!

You must have missed all the Icy Hot On The Balls threads.

fucked your mom