1. Start the video by laughing. coughing, or make some noise like a fucking retard, gotta give instant sound and movement to your infant minded audience. Sometimes bring act as your other character to bring an unprecedented level of pandering and DUDE IRONY LMAO
2. Hi everyone, "Inserthony Unfunnymemetano here" internet's biggest cum gargling waste of space
3. Give a long and unnecessary exposition of the artist history and take up at least 30% of the video talking about wikipedia found information. It's pure filler
4. Talk about general information about the sonic qualities that the album has
5a. "Analyze" each track. On instrumentals, use unnecessary adjectives to describe what is being played ("blistering keyboard progressions", "fish oiled coated high hats"), it sounds smart and no one will point out your pretentious way of speaking. Also, point out obvious things about the record. 5b. On song meanings, just rephrase what the lyrics are saying, ("In this song, Johnny Cash talks about how he falls in to a burning ring of fire, and he went down, and the flames went higher, and that he burns") and pretend as if it counts as analysis or what the song actually means.
6. Give your final opinion and overview of the record, and describe your listening experiences of it. Compare the album with past albums and talk about the future. Talk about unoriginal viewpoints and obvious expectations.
7. Give a final score, which is only what the viewers care about. Even though it's in the description, and people spend a hardy 3 seconds on the video because of it. Sometimes you'll write, "watchthevideodudegivememoney/10" if it is a video on a popular artist and want people to gruelingly sit through your 8-22 minutes of bullshit. Then again they can skip to the end. Sometimes when the album is a hot meme off the grill, you'll write "le maymay/10" or "poop/10" or "pandering/10" for your comedic quality.
>"fish oiled coated high hats" Please don't tell me he actually said this
Brody Ward
No, OP was jokin'
Isaiah Foster
>fish oil coated high hats
Nathan Bailey
DAMN IS STILL A 7 LMAO
Oliver Perry
Even worse is the aftermath. Sometimes there will be artists angry about what he said about their work in a review, and you know he just loves to talk about it and boast that he made some artist mad. He probably gets all hard when he receives yet another tweet from an angry artist who doesn't agree with his superficial criticism. It's come to the point where his second shitposting channel has more quality to its videos than theneedledrop main channel.
Leo Davis
>fish oil coated high hats Sauce?
Andrew Wilson
fish oil
Gabriel Morgan
Someone's salty he trashed the new Slowdive
Jaxson Morris
>dem omega 3s in the hi hats
Jackson Lewis
>1. Start the video by laughing. coughing, or make some noise like a fucking retard, gotta give instant sound and movement to your infant minded audience. Sometimes bring act as your other character to bring an unprecedented level of pandering and DUDE IRONY LMAO He does this so he can easily select the thumbnail for the video. Did you really not know this?
Nathaniel Thomas
Oh boy here come the Slowdive fags
Leo Kelly
Not everyone is as well versed in melon's lore as you user
Parker King
Alright, fuckface, how would you make a review?
Daniel Cooper
Dude calm down why do you care so much about him? Just don't watch his videos if they piss you off that much.
Eli Lee
I would wear a black blindfold or mask and a dirty fucking hoodie, start the video by playing the song in question badly in the piano, introduce myself and then proceed to spew random shit I'm in no way qualified to talk about
Brayden Barnes
This is a common practice you fucking dunce
Parker Young
subscribed
Ayden Cooper
I would start in the bath room wearing pyjamas and a nightcap, introduce myself as bed reviews, and that I have better views. I would then proceed to have a skit where I talk to myself (but with my shirt over my head) before talking about [female pop singers] new album in my bed
Tyler Gonzalez
Awwww, didn't like the recent Slowdive review Rachel? It's ok, you can still try and make another one!!
Jaxon Peterson
would totally watch
Carter Gonzalez
look it up on yt then. It exists, he's a pleb but is somewhat entertaining
