ITT: We write DC Scenes/Scenes so that they'd receive a 80+ RT score

ITT: We write DC Scenes/Scenes so that they'd receive a 80+ RT score

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TELL THAT TO ZOD'S SNAPPED NECK

OOGA CHAKA OOGA CHAKA

>Harley Quinn, nice to meetcha! Love your perfume, what is that, the stench of death?
Oh woops lol that's a real one that got 33%

**RAIN ASSAULTS THE GROUND**

>inb4 Big Guy scene

I will never understand how Stuckman achieved such a following. He's almost as bad as that Johns character.

It's okay that Marvel makes better movies, OP. You don't have to get this triggered.

You're well endowed

*laugh track*

>Do you bleed?
>Jews will!
>*turns back to batmobile and slips over on a banana peel*
>*pans in on batmans face while laying flat on his back"
>"Superman is no match for super banana"
~cut scene

>Lol only 20 minutes to write, I swear! Don't call me a prick or I'll cry

This is Katana
She's got a Katana
I would advise not getting killed by her Katana
Katana traps the souls of her victims with her Katana

>there are actuall scenes that help narrate a story, and not only attempts of grandilocuent moments.

RT 80%

DANCE OF BROTHER

>Pop culture reference
>Pop culture reference
>Old shitty pop song starts playing
>Quips intensify
>Third act: enter forgettable villain with no motivation or personality

desu it's not great, but how is that worse that the average stuff she says in The Animated Series (which is generally considered the GOAT Harley portrayal)?

>Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away then what are you?

>Doomsday emerges
Wonder woman: "Definitely swipe left"

A Batgirl falls in love with Batman.

Unable to confess, she is gifted by a deus ex machina with the millionaire orphan's phone number. Never minding the strange area code, she immediately calls him, and is overjoyed to find out that he has a crush on her as well.

But, the next day, when she recounts the previous day's confessions to Bruce Wayne, he only looks at her with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, she finds out that the man she called is not the same vigilante she fell in love with. In fact, he doesn't exist in this universe at all. He is the alternate universe counterpart of her crush, who has fallen in love with her AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of his crush.

Hijinks ensue as they strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip each other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of BATSEX.

All you have to do is remake the entire movie, but make it in 12 years.

apology for poor english

when were you when Suparmon dies?

i was sat at home eating Robin's ass when Doomsday ring

‘Suparmon is kill’

‘no’

>What is a secretary?
>I follow him around and do what he tells me to do
>From where I'm from that's called slaaaaaavery
>I really like her

Misread that for a second and thought Doomsday said the line about Wonder Woman

just sell the IP to Disney. Will never get a bad RT score ever again. Actual quality of film not important

kek

>Thunderstruck playing in the background
>Batman punching crookswhile smiling
>Superman SNAPS LEXS NECK, cracks witty one liner while smiling
>Wonder Woman shoves her jewish crotch against Doomsday and wrestles him to the ground while smiling

BATMAN V. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

The funny thing is that Thunderstruck really plays in the JL trailer

that sounds dumb enough to be a real synopsis

>which is generally considered the GOAT Harley portrayal
well she was created for TAS. And yeah, I give you that her dialouge isn't really more clever there, but there's something about robbies delivery and accent that just ruins it.

"I looked for you in Metropolis," Clark said to him.

"I was not there." Bruce answered, "Woe to the Invader if I had been."

"When Wayne Tower fell, General Zod leveled your city with a laser beam, and I wondered where you were."

"Far away, or Wayne Tower would yet stand, and the Invader would burn in seven hells."

"I came down on Earth to save mankind," Clark told him, "and the Kryptonian invaders dipped their banners, and bent the knee to pledge me fealty. I was certain you would be among them."

"My knees do not bend easily," said Bruce Wayne.

"Your confidante Alfred is fled to Gotham, with your assistant Oracle and partner Robin. I thought you might have gone with them."

"Alfred is a good man and true, but not of the Justice League," Bruce pointed out. "The Justice League does not flee. Then or now." He donned his helm. "I swore a vow," explained old Bruce Wayne. "And now it begins."

"No," Clark said with sadness in his voice. "Now it ends." As they came together in a rush of steel and shadow, he could hear Lois Lane screaming. "Clark!" she called. A storm of rose petals blew across a blood-streaked sky, as blue as the eyes of death.

Jahns at least has a personality, even if you don't like it. Stuckmann is literally the most boring human being I've ever seen.

...

>Are you inferring that we are some kind of gosh darn Justice League?

>You. Me. Dance off. Right now.
>what?

Superman: [to Batman] You have a metal suit? That is AWESOME, dude!

love finds a way

for you

...

Stop posting that because it's already a thing.

fictionpress.com/s/3206139/1/

>"Bruce! Listen to me now!"
>"Lex! Lex Luthor! He's behind everything! He's putting you against Superman so he can expose Superman as a lie when he dies or gets killed by you!"
>"He also makes a large monster out of ZODS SNAPPED NECK that kills everything!"
>"Use the Spear!"
>"Don't fight him Bruce!"
>"Also check those files!"

>NATURE of BATSEX.

Thanks for reminding me.

"You were never a god. The only god is Allah most merciful, and Muhammed (peace be upon him) is his glorious prophet on earth"

Can't wait to see my lesbian cuck friend's face when she sees this. Batgirl is her favorite character.

>Batman to Alfred: "Supermano? Where was Superman when Gotham fell? Where was Superman when our enemies closed in around us!?

Batman pauses

"Where was Superman-"

>no CIA scene rips

This is the most disappointing thread I've ever seen

>Batman: I’m old, Alfred. I know I don’t look it but I’m beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel thin… sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don’t expect I shall return. In fact I mean not to.

These posters work for the mercenary

literally describing suicide skwad

>not even changing the last sentence

GoT plebs are the worst

>batman and superman look at each and smile
HERE WE GO AGAIN
*punch doomsday in the face at the same time*

>doomsday head is spinning
Me hate Monday's

*seinfeld incidental music plays*

>Wonder Woman
Okay boys let me show you how a real man handles this

>Doomsday
*puts on MAGA hat*

>"Bruce! Listen to me now!"
>"It's Bane"
>"He's the Big Guy!"

>Dick Grayson's parents killed during the Zod fight
>Bruce takes him in
>Together they begin looking into Superman, with Robin having a personal motive into stopping him.
>Superman struggles to keep his powers under his control, even when he intends to do good
>Bizzaro gets involved with help from Lex Luthor as a means to damage Superman's reputation further.
>Robin goes against Bruce's wishes and goes out to fight Superman (Bizarro) on his own
>Bizarro kicks his shit in and almost kills him before Bruce (also thinking it's Supes) intervenes and saves him.
>Alfred takes care of Robin and Bruce prepares to confront Superman
>He gets ahold of Kryptonite and they have the same fight, Bruce does the DKR speech and before he finishes him off he mentions something that Bizarro did, confusing Superman
>They put 2 and 2 together and team up
>They take down Bizarro and Lex is put in jail
>Batman, Superman, and a healing Robin work together to form the barebones of the Justice League
>The end

also
>Batman doesn't kill
>Wonder Woman only appears as Diana at Bruce's party or whatever
>Lex isn't 23
>No stupid flashbacks/dream sequences as convoluted ways to tie the other Justice League members into it. Only heroes are Batman, Robin, and Superman

wot u fink anons

Superman not realising that there's a clone of him doing evil shit everywhere and Batman going "Oh, sorry, I-I thought you were someone else" is even more stupid than the 'Martha' resolution.

I mean Bizarro wouldn't be killing the president and doing major shit that Superman wouldn't notice but yeah you're right, I didn't think of that

Maybe it could be like Batman's role in BvS where we see criminals all fucked up and saying Superman did it to them.

>Batman and Superman are getting rekt by Doomsday
>WW comes in and slays Doomsday:"I'm always cleaning up after you boys."
>Batman:"Is she flirting with me?"
>Superman: "I've seen her flirt, up close. That wasn't flirting."
>Batman: "Don't you have like a thing with Lois?"
>Superman: "Do you see a ring buddy boy?"
>Alfred over the ear piece: "The shawarma is ready sir."
>Batman: "You guys ever had shawarma?"
>WW: "I'm not a guy, I'm a monster."
>Supes looks at Bats with a raised eyebrow
>WW: "I didn't ask to be pulled apart and put together, over and over again."
>Supes: "What are you even talking about?"
>Bats: "Don't make her angry, you won't like her when she's angry."
>WW: "Too much testosterone here, I'm out."
>Bats: "Up for some grub bud?"
>Supes fistbumps Bats into a wall. Grins.
>Fade out.
>End credits.
>Mid credits scene.
>The Joker comes on screen: "Woo ha ha ha ha, who's ready to play some games?"
>Credits continue
>End credits scene.
>Aquaman is seen swimming in the sewers of Metropolis.
>Fade out.

The problem is that the Dark Knight Returns fight is compelling because these characters are old friends and have years of history together. It's not an appropriate source for their first movie together in a universe where they've never met before. I don't think it could work even if it had a completely watertight setup, because the core component of the drama is gone.

>Scorpions' 'Rock you like a hurricane' plays for the entire duration of the battle.
>At the end, there's a dance-off.

>Supes: P-Please save my mother!
>Batman: Shut the fuck up!
>Supes: She's kidnapped by Lex, help her!
>Batman: Fuck you!

Superman dies, or Lois Lane comes in explaining the situation...just no Martha

>10/10 most fun I've ever had in my life

But let's be honest. TDKR and BvS had literally nothing in common but the bat armor and the fact that they fight. All the rest is different.

>Tell me about Zod! Why does he snap the neck?

>serving someone is slavery
Isn't Diana's mother a queen or something and doesn't she have followers? Aren't they slaves too?

The bat armour fight is heavily billed as the film's "main event", but it doesn't work because it misses the key component of the original bat armour fight they're drawing from.

I think it was the simplistic way the secretary described her job, as opposed to Wonder Woman making a detailed and informed analysis of the job of secretary.

I thought he said Lois Lane was the key.
Which I did not understand.
Did I mishear him.
>inb4 thick latino accent meme.

>Batman: what makes you so super anyway?
>Superman: the part where i can fly and destroy cities
>Bats: yeah well i dont think you're ver-
>supes punches him out of frame
>Bats: wow cheap shot. Not very super
>supes starts walking towards him
>Bats: I know what you can do but you dont know what i can do
>Supes: and what would that be
>Bats: be prepared
>super walks into a kryptonite landmine

Off the top of my head. I envisioned Bats as played by talentless and diverse actor Robert Downey Jr. I realize that is kind of cheating since his face increases the score to 80 on RT but what can you

no mommycest speak

no dday

in my head i wrote talentful but it seems i wrote talentless. How strange

I read every instance of the word "Super" in that exchange in a lispy stereotypical gay man voice

Anybody can be a Youtube critic. Just wear silly anime shirts and claim to be a fan of every franchise you review. But don't have any controversial opinions! The sponsors will be lined up the block.

you should be hired to write the next marvel movies. That was better written than any scene in CA:CW

>>Bats: I know what you can do but you dont know what i can do
>>Supes: and what would that be
>>Bats: be prepared
You could be paid hundreds of thousands to write this shit if you worked for marvel.

>Change Batman v Superman fight location to an abandoned train station
>Somehow Batman gets the drop on Superman , beats him inside a train to the ground and pulls out the kryptonite spear
>Batman: If I put this inside you, will you die?
>Superman: it'd be extremely painful
>Batman: You're a big guy
>Superman: For you
>Aerial shot of the train station
>Batman: Was getting caught part of your plan?
>Superman: Of course! Mr Luthor refused my offer in favor of yours, I ought of find out what he told you
>Lex: NOTHING, I SAID NOTHING HOO HOO HEE HEE
>Another aerial shot of the train station
>Batman: Well congratulations, you got yourself caught! What's the next part of your master plan?
>Superman: Crashing this train.... WITH NO SURVIVORS

Find a way to introduce this guy.

Probably just your normal voice then, but thanks for sharing anyways

>Superman tosses the Batman through the Bat-Signal.

>Cut to close-up of Bruce's face inside the mask with a HUD display that couldn't possibly exist.

>Alfred(over radio): Are you still certain this is wise, sir?
>Bruce: You should have talked me out of this.
>Alfred: As a point of fact, If I might be so presumptuous as to remind you, I did try, sir.
>Bruce: You should have tried HARDER!

>Superman lands on the roof

>Bruce(to Alfred): Listen carefully to what I'm about to say.

>Tosses smoke grenade and scrambles to an ambush position.

>Alfred: Are you activating some post-hypnotic suggestion you've given me, sir? You know I hate when you do that.
>Bruce: Actually, I'm thinking about updating my will.