I see Amy Schumer as a challenge, more than anything. Here is a woman who, in every single aspect...

I see Amy Schumer as a challenge, more than anything. Here is a woman who, in every single aspect, is absolutely revolting - her exterior AND her personality - yet I can't help but wonder what would be like, to plunge balls-deep into her repeatedly.
That's right. Balls-deep. With no protection.
I won't lie, I'm extraordinarily-hard while typing this. I want to grab this... thing... and that's what Amy Schumer is, let's not delude ourselves, a "thing"... by the hips and ram mercilessly in and out of her quivering, malformed cunt with the force of a gladiatorial chariot, while she makes stupid faces and contorts orgasmically, unable to control her bodily reactions even if she wanted to.
I would erupt violently inside that corrupt and corrupting womb as though the entire fate of humanity depended on my seed penetrating the foul walls of one of her ovaries, the electrical fusion from this coupling creating the Antichrist, as our combined, guttural, Chewbacca-like roars shattered glass and walls alike around us, the house toppling down while we lay there in a filthy, disgusting mess.
Yeah. I reckon Amy Schumer does it for me.

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Yo this is some fresh and tasty pasta my man.

delicious

Go to the zoo and fuck a baby elephant OP, same feeling 100% guarantee.

Shes not ugly just fat.

Gross.

10/10 read, made me also consider these despicable actions

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Reads just like the one where the cross eyed girl is holding the cat

fukkin this

Op are you one of these guys?

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Most retarded pasta ever

I sincerely never want to hear about Amy Schumer in any way for the rest of my life and I think a lot of other anons would agree with me

We're all completely sick of all of her shit

>implying theres a difference

Its the fact that she's a stupid fat unfunny jewcunt who has no business every being in front of an audience, her joke-thieving, and piggy looking face that makes me want to hate rape her.

I would logjam my fist so far up her gooberhole, I would have to kill her to get it out. Killing her would be the only solution because calling 911 to report that you had a sex-related accident with Amy Schumer and having to admit you fucked her is the pinnacle of shame.

I dream of throwing her down an outhouse and shitting on her for days. I'd fap to the point of blisters then shoot booger rockets at her after I get my rocks off. I would make her sustain herself off my faeces. The thought of that turns me on to the point that I want to hate rape her

...

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She used to be borderline cute back in the day but unfortunately fell off the wrong side of the wall

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She is pretty much Larry Joe Campbell with a vagina and smaller tits.

Just get a trashbag filled to the brim with pizza dough, spray it with syphilitic blood for lube and go to town.

ya makin fun of my hat or somethin

She's got an ass like Chris Farley.

Read somewhere from a guy that fucked her. Said it was like a dead fish. She just laid there and took it. And anal.

here, use this authentic simulator. it'll save lots of work and money instead of trying to get the real one, and you won't be able to tell the difference.

looks like success went to her head...and chin, belly, thighs...

..but not into her act.

Delicious pasta
>>Sup Forums80604967
archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/80604967/

You're just making certain retards on Sup Forums that wanna fuck her even harder now since she that post almost basically says she has the athletic ability and fitness of a corpse during sex.

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fuck thats awesome

I see Amy Schumer as an unfunny comedian.

JESUS CHRIST PUT THE TWINKIE DOWN GIRL~

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Do you feel similarly about Lena Dunham as well?

sure, if you post the sex scenes from her show

She was hot at one point

1/2

I know what you mean...she disgusts me BUT....I'd still like to fuck her shit filled asshole and cum inside her, then wipe her shit, my cum all over her ass, tits, and face until she licks me clean! Looks bad but would feels good man!

She's smokin here

2/2

OP is a nigger and a faggot

ALL MY NOPE

i dunno man. if i were walking around and saw a poster like that i would actually think that amy got self-aware which would make me like her more.

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How does everything go down hill so fast

She got rich, then she got fat.

Tss tss

I think shes good for hate fucking.

These are all after she had plastic surgery, that's why she has that damned weird Scandinavian face that doesn't match her body.

I see Donald Trump as a challenge, more than anything. Here is a man who, in every single aspect, is absolutely revolting - his exterior AND his personality - yet I can't help but wonder what would be like, to plunge balls-deep into him repeatedly.
That's right. Balls-deep. With no protection.
I won't lie, I'm extraordinarily-hard while typing this. I want to grab this... Jew... and that's what Donald Trump is, let's not delude ourselves, a "jew"... by the hips and ram mercilessly in and out of his quivering, malformed boipussy with the force of a deported refugee, while he makes stupid tweets and contorts orgasmically, unable to control his borders even if he wanted to.
I would erupt violently inside that corrupt and corrupting prostate as though the entire fate of humanity depended on my seed penetrating the foul walls of one of his kidneys, the electrical fusion from this coupling creating Pepe, as our combined, guttural, bad hombre-like roars shattered glass and walls alike around us, the country toppling down while we lay there in a filthy, disgusting piss covered bed.
Yeah. I reckon Donald Trump does it for me.

Not even once

Kek
When did this thread turn into a ylyl?

If you like child molesting dykes, sure.

>my seed penetrating the foul walls of one of her ovaries
thats not how it works

Honestly, its the booze. Seen some nice 7 or 8/10 chicks become 2/10 whales after years of drinking Bud Light.

Great, way to make Lena actually sound desirable for the first time ever

Just another fat blonde, better than jerking off nothing special, booty call material.

I still hit, she may laugh at my non African Dick but would take that BBW Mericunt

I'm exceptionally fond of the
"by the hips and ram mercilessly in and out of her quivering, malformed cunt with the force of a gladiatorial chariot" business,
It's the gladiatorial chariot that pins a smile on me.

1/10 recycled pasta

Oh look, it's a thread full of immature, 12-year-old man-babies.

All of you just can't accept that Amy Schumer is a strong symbol of female empowerment.

You all have tiny 2" inch dicks. Grow up.

>Amy Schumer
>female

Pick one

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That's who this is?? I just thought Paula Dean lost weight.

"You are not my king yet,boy,nor would i fuck Amy Schumer if you commanded me too!

I want her to sit on my face

so, you're attracted to her.

Very well written OP. You should submit it to Readers Digest. 6/10 would read again.

Stop. Even though there's a 99% chance that this is shitty pasta, shit like this is why Amy Schumer is deluded enough to think that men will fuck *anything*.
She is absolutely fucking gross. Leave it at that.

She's funny. As a comedian, nothing more should be expected. OP needs to march in front of an audience and try to get paid well just by saying shit with some pantomine on the side.

OP does not like? OP can download some other torrent to watch.

Not sure Campbell ever did well at standup.

You fags want to fuck a 300 pound pig, have fun with that

This made me lol more than anything that has ever been spoken by her lips.

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Just buy a pig and fuck it then.

Wow. That is a well doctored pic. I actually watched her Leather Special recently. It was meh. Had a few good laughs in it. But I had just watched the Ali Wong one, which was fucking hilarious.

Not sure why everyone has a problem with Schumer. She is average at worst.

She probably has a tight cunt, most fat chicks do. And you just know she'd be into barebacking and creampies.

It's because she's bad but the people around her act like she's the funniest person on the planet. She also steals jokes and denies it when she gets called out.

Well played lad

I wanna bareback anal Amy Schumer and watch her fart out the shitty cum into Lena Dunham's mouth tbh

Funny how everyone accuses her of joke stealing, and then this meme uses a joke that comes from Bob Monkhouse (who probably stole it).

Id fuck Schumer, but i wouldnt touch Dunham with a 10 foot pole.

That's true, nobody's laughing because she's a fucking shit "comedian"

Which is why she's just eating Amy's shit-soaked anal creampie and not fucking me

Fuck you OP now I fapped to her

>implying Schumer does well

this is the most sexual attention Amy Schumer and Lena Dunham have gotten in years

Does she play in the NFL?

>calling 911 to report that you had a sex-related accident with Amy Schumer and having to admit you fucked her is the pinnacle of shame.

Oh lord, now you make me think of the possibilities.

In this case it would not be your choice

Is this 'shopped, or is she becoming even fatter?

Me:
>hey Amy where do you want me to fuck you?

Amy:
>muh vagina