Be me, about 30 minutes ago

>Be me, about 30 minutes ago
>Eating pistachios, contemplating suicide, the normal stuff
>Not even looking at the pistachios before I pop them into my mouth
>One of them is hard to get out of the shell
>pop it open with my teeth
>makes a weird ripping sound
>this pistachio tastes fucking awful
>shell also looks kinda fucky
>pistachio is really beginning to taste almost acidic
>I'm not a pussy, so I keep chewing
>finish and swallow pistachio
>get a drink of water
>continue eating pistachios
>come across another pistachio with a fucky looking shell, same as other one
>tore it open, same exact ripping sound as well
>look at the horror that I've unveiled
>mother
>fucking
>maggot
>there was a fucking maggot in that goddamn pistachio, and most likely one in the pistachio I had already ate
>I just stand there in horror
>throw out the bag of pistachios
>go on Sup Forums to bitch about it

There we have it. Fuck pistachios and their fucking maggots.

I feel like we are only getting one side of the story and shouldn't be so quick to judge.

Yeah...let the maggot tell it´s version of what happened earlier

You put them in your mouth before you take the shell off?

Oh that's right, it can't. OP fucking killed it.

If anything I'm on the maggots side.

user thats horrifying I am so sorry.

Well now hold on here, have you even considered how this played out from the maggots perspective?

Lawl. What a nightmare.

bro if that was that brand of pistachio let them know and you will be set. my mom complained about a stem in the bag once and got a big ass box of pistachios sent to her by corporate. call the number or send an email with that picture!

...

it not like it was a house fly maggot. Its our buddy Navel Orangeworms

i just received a news update: the maggot survived but suffered from severe trauma and limb damage

OP here. That's exactly what it looked like, except there was still pistachio left inside. I can't believe I fucking ate one of those things. I hope I don't get stomach AIDS or some shit

>be me, about one day into my life
>eating pistachios, contemplating being a fly the normal stuff
>not even spitting on the pistachios before I attempt to eat them
>hear weird ripping sound, its my brother tom in pistachio 223
>crazy organic life form most likely a predator picks up his whole fucking house
> I scream
>he screams in terror as his body is chopped in half by the creatures huge fangs
>fuck lost my brother whatever happens a lot for maggots
>predator has returned oh fuck oh fuck
>looks hungry still
>grabs my fucking house OH FUCK OH FUCK
>SAME TERRIFYING RIPPING SOUNDS
>Rips my house in two
>suddenly he seems less appetizer by my house, well whatever more for me
>inserts me into a larger house filled with TONS OF FUCKING FOOD
>fucking humans
>sorry bout tom but this turned out good.

...

My day is off to a good start
Sides ripped apart.
Thanks user!

Thank god, we just need to get OP into the closest urgent care center for a quick stomach pump. There is still time to right this wrong.

naaa Sup Forumsro its just protien

>be me
>just brought home from the store
>full of fresh, tasty pistachios
>man who brought me opens me up
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>suddenly see man make a strange face
>he keeps chewing, then gets up for some water
>man opens another pistachio
>ohfuckitsamaggot.tar.gz
>man freaks the fuck out
>throws me away
I thought I was made right. Why even live when you're full of maggot filled pistachios? Can we get a feels thread going?

>Be maggot me, about 30 minutes ago
>Chilling in sweet pistachio home, contemplating suicide, the normal stuff
>not even looking at the world around me
>Feel loud rumbling and shaking, freak out
>fucking world around me explodes into pieces
>im thrown into this warm, wet new works, being flung around and crushed by huge squares
>feel a pain in my lower half
>im fucking cut in half and bleeding my juices whatever
>feel kinda fucky
>i throw up
>I'm not a pussy, so I keep fighting to survive
>huge force throws me down this dark tube
>i try to grab onto the wall so i can try to climb out
>suddenly huge rush of water racing toward me
>goddammit
>fall in an open space and see pistachio homes falling down the tube above
>look at the horror that before me
>mother
>fucking
>pistachio homes
>I just lay there in horror
>throw up some more
>go on Sup Forums to bitch about it

There we have it. Fuck pistachio homes and their fucking destroyers.

That maggot watched his brother die and that gave him all of his luck.

Does this works for humans? If it does, I want to see someone's death.

I am allergic to pistachio. Kills me. Don't feed your children precessed food

>>Not even looking at the pistachios before I pop them into my mouth
>>pop it open with my teeth
If you're going to blindly toss them into your mouth with the shells on you deserve you deserve to get maggots.

I never eat maggots in my pistachios because the bad ones could not look more obviously bad.

finding a worm in your pistachio is like finding gold, like getting the chicken nugget that has WAY TOO MUCH seasoning on it

lucky u found 2

OP is a maggot

I ate handful after handful of worm-infested nuts in Morocco once. 50 Celcius and I'm 6,000km from home and I've just eaten dozens of translucent white worms.
good times

Good fucking lord, is this a thing?

Do pistachios commonly have maggots in them? Even store bought ones?

The fuck, man?

>be me hungry as fuck rummaging through the pantry
>notice a box of delicious blueberry muffins behind a lot of other shit
>start chowing down on those delicious pastries
>feel a web-like sensation roughly three muffins in
>decide to take actually take a look at the muffins I'm devouring, noticing grey cobwebs all over my fucking muffins
>sit there in horror as it dawns on me that I just ate a lot of muffins that were months expired
>never ate a muffin since

Wow you sound like a cuckboi. Maggots are fine eating and probably contain more nutrients than your faggot ass nuts. If anything you should be overjoyed that you got more protein than was on the label of your packaged nuts. Nothing beats a big ol' fatty grub though m8, those are the beast eatin'

Never gotten a maggot, and I open the shells with my fingers like a person with at least average intelligence (and all of my teeth), but I have found small rocks the size of a nut inside 2 or 3 bags that morons like you could easily break a few teeth on.

1.) That's not how you spell "processed".
2.) That's not how allergies work.