>be me, 2014, closing semester of my final year of high school. >just broke up with gf of 2 years; I was tired of feeling unappreciated >nearly strangle a kid in AP World history class because he insisted on being an absolute fucking walnut earlier that day. >final period, I take my seat in a filler history class just because I loved the teacher. (Can also include snippets from his lectures completely roasting dipshits with a single remark) >my younger sister's friend whom always wore baggy, loose-fitting clothing (always thought she was a guy till she spoke) >she's had a major crush on me since my junior year >she starts flirting with me >howboutnoyoufuckingraisin >teacher is giving no fucks if people are paying attention, just kind of cascades his wisdom down through the foothills of idiocy hoping someone actually listens for once, but expression on his face is blank and unchanging >bells about to ring >whatsertitties starts to rub my back >iamuncomfortable.exe >we ride the same bus home (disclaimer, I am poor) >she knitted me a scarf >degenerative walking regressions of the human genome start to pipe up and begin critiquing her >tell them they'd be lucky if the people from the halfway house they seek refuge in at times wouldn't even give them proper deodorant >they stop talking >get off bus at my stop
>....continue?
Jacob Allen
sure.
Alexander Barnes
ye, go on
Cooper Murphy
Plz
Christopher Cox
bump
Elijah Johnson
bumpo
Landon Jackson
bumperooni nigger.
Angel Fisher
Y u so mean?
Adrian Miller
>I'm a pretentious little shit at this time in my life so I'm reading walden like a euphoric fedora faggot >I get random text >whatsertitties got my number >howintheflamingostrichfuck >immediately burst into my sister room demanding to know if she gave that stringy haired leech my number >she's a bagel/10 >proceed to ask the Jewish doughnut why she gave her my number >she says it was fine since I wasn't seeing the rosy colored cunt anymore >I call her a bitch or something >get another text from the man girl >she asks if I'd like to visit her at home >whatever.gif >ask house hitler for keys to see -insert random name- >former chancellor of Germany grills me because of course I have ulterior motives >she relents and I go to titties' house >she opens the door, sleek black silky hair, skin-tight shirt (she's a big c-cup from what I could judge) and leggings >I'm fucking dumbfounded
...continue? Sorry guys this is a long one
Ryan Rivera
>be freshman >New school, was known for drugs at old one and needed new start >awkward asf >buttfuck egypt.exe >get to know some kids. Very cool >live with cousin at time >cousin is my dood he drives me places >I joke about shooting up schools niggers and etc etc >one day my cousin catches on and starts too >goes too far one day >Police come and ask for cousin. >I flip shit and think they looking for me >Seriously wipe phones and hide them >Be grounded a lot and have multiple shitty phones >Find out cousin does in fact threaten to go Columbine on their asses Fast forward a week >Was kept home so I wouldn't tell anyone everything >Be at Walmart with cousin >We're in gun isle >Snapchat pic of him in gun isle with back to school shopping >Dumb cunt screenshots and calls cops >Cops contact me and expel me >Mfw a picture off school grounds gets me expelled
Jeremiah Baker
yes you fucktwat
Oliver Barnes
cont
Lincoln Wilson
what the fuck did you think would happen retard
Zachary Stewart
It wasn't on school grounds Phone wasn't schools property It was a fucking picture Explain how it's expulsion material?
Gabriel Davis
Bump
Luis Brown
continue dude
Dominic Foster
you joked about bringing a gun to a school? joke or not and on school grounds or not any school would of done the same
Chase Barnes
No I didn't you read it wrong autismo I took a Snapchat of my cousin while we were in the gun isle. Which also has bb guns? No expulsion hearing. Just expulsion.
Wyatt Murphy
Same guy here, but how are people gonna be allowed to put school shooting memes way worse than what I did on Instagram and be allowed in school for fucks sake a suspension is too far even but I mean they went for expulsion
Joseph Reed
tldr; autistic spaghetti tier edgelord gets expelled for obvious reasons.
Evan White
Chill bro, it's just a prank
Mason Bell
You have to be 18 or older to post here. Also, if you have this hard of time understanding why you got expelled, good luck in the real world.
Sebastian Stewart
That's what Osama said.
Xavier Gray
I am 18 sperglord nice try tho
Angel Kelly
yo when is OP gonna update story. takin too fuckin long
Dylan Moore
No I dont wanna read the rest.
Adam James
I'll suck the jizz out of your cock like a dirty chupacabra spick in your sleep.
Chase Williams
>be me >be at house party in college >socially awkward >party sluts everywhere >all the myths you hear aren't really true >no jocks >Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone >End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight
Anthony Morales
I hope my mom dies
Easton Garcia
>walnut ?
Kevin Watson
Fucking shit
John Garcia
Bump
Nolan Brooks
I'm sure she feels the same way about you
Blake Diaz
Then fucking act like it, child.
Justin Young
god damn it
Jason Cruz
>be me >be 17 >be at country club >with my dog and homies >planning to swim a little and then eat a snack >sight potato tard >approaching to my doggo >tard starts petting my dog but instead he is slaping and pulling his ears >my dogg is nice with people he doesnt know >But this tard was going full retard >tell caretaker to do his fucking job >he could not care less and keep talking whit a guy >suddenly doggo bite his hand >tard jump backwards and almost fall >see hand >covered with bruises, few blood and 2 small holes >tard starts to cry >says: that pony bit me >dyinginside.jpg >caretaker approaches >see hand and is not big deal >Caretaker says "what did that thing do to my little tard?!" >me "what can i say, my dog likes potatos" >mfw dog poop seconds later >mfw i got kicked out and our later >mfw i got banned six months
Brody Ward
>Calls me child >either your around my age and trying to be cool or your 40 and on b >either way it's pretty bad
Austin Wood
If this happened recently enough that you are on here crying about it, no. I'm not around your age.
Jack Wood
Fuck you, she's an angel
Evan Morris
And just like that the original green text is gone.
Alexander Jenkins
I don't know my mommy
Dominic Russell
Bump for stories. Not cancer.
Landon Hill
>. Not canc Wrong fucking board for that m8
Kevin Wright
I hope this thread isn't dead
Colton Ward
A lot of niggers are dead.
Jonathan Powell
Bump for op
Sebastian Watson
Come on continue op
Hudson James
Is the jewish donut whacking him off
Andrew Walker
No clue
Christopher Peterson
OP never delivers
Anthony Martin
Op is a faggit
Jack Long
Cant risk
Alexander Miller
Continue fag
Austin Martinez
Bump
Caleb Brooks
> cunt
Gabriel Wilson
hahhaha
Jason Gutierrez
...
Brody Watson
how on earth did these ridiculous "would you do X for Y amount of money" facebook-tier nigger memes go from asking if i'd squish a yapping puppy for 2 Billion to the other end of the spectrum asking if i'd accepting being a permanently disabled amputee for a mere Thomas Jefferson??????
like what the fuck is up with these tricky niggers and their bait and switch tactics???
Isaiah Jenkins
Hate retards who don't know where to put the dollar sign, it's always before the numbers, not after.
Oliver Bailey
You sound like a major cunt to be around.
Ethan Collins
Hate retards who don't use the metric system.
Kayden Foster
RIEEEEE FUCKING CONTINUE FAG!
Jack Sullivan
...
Logan Green
This.
Austin White
>Metric system >Good
John Cox
Samefag
Benjamin Sanchez
N I C E F E E T I C E F E E T
Nathan Martinez
It is better than your shit.
Joseph Kelly
Fucc awf mayt.
Isaac Barnes
i'll bite
David Watson
continue of OP POST >I sit there kind of quiet and she walks up to me while I'm sitting on edge of bed >asks if she looks ok in her clothes >say they look nice >she looks at me and smiles a tad >instant boner >then she says "wait a sec, let me change my shirt into something else" in a voice like trying to be sexy >imokwiththis_dvdrip.avi.exe >jokes with me that i better not look >starts taking her shirt off but looks over her shoulder while she removes it slowly and sees im trying my hardest to sneak a peek >smiles slyly at me again >after she takes shirt off she asks me If i can help unhook her bra because she wants to change that aswell >go over and fumble with it and have trouble >finallly get it off then she grabs it and i'm still standing behind her >turns around with her boobs in hand, but still poking her chest out trying to be flirty >then says "wait, can you do something else for me?" >I'm sitting there ready knowing whats next >takes her hands off boobs then looks at me again >then she says: "I need about tree fiddy" >it was at this moment I knew this wasn't no average high school girl that had been friends with my little sister but was a 210 foot tall monster from the paleozic era >damn loch ness monster tricked me again
Matthew Green
The metric system is better then the imperial. It's so shit that the Japs were nuked for being Imperials
Jeremiah Richardson
8/10
Owen Allen
fucking what
Julian Phillips
Op your a faggit... I mean literally Go kill yourself
Isaiah Jenkins
opwrotethingslikethisalot (Op wrote things like this a lot)
Matthew Anderson
Cringe/10 ....... should have walked the dinosaur
Isaiah Miller
...
Aaron Harris
7/10 wasn't expecting it
Juan Taylor
>>be me >>be at house party in college >>socially awkward >>party sluts everywhere >>all the myths you hear aren't really true >>no jocks >>Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone >>End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight nibba
Nathaniel Watson
SAFE
Xavier Mitchell
>gslikethisalot >(Op wrote thin Nice trap
Caleb Roberts
copy pasted
Jackson Nelson
Not a trap unfortunately :( image search it if you need proof of not trap.
Eli Myers
RREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Hudson Powell
>>>be me >>>be at house party in college >>>socially awkward >>>party sluts everywhere >>>all the myths you hear aren't really true >>>no jocks >>>Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone >>>End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight
>be me late 20's >trying hard to score 19 year old in bar >qt, piercings and tats but half hearted shit, probably a cutter, daddy issues, not hardcore >Audioslave comes on >we dig >she says 'hey this sounds alot like that Rage band' >I turn to her with the knowledge of a thousand suns, the wisdom of ten hundred fedoras perched magically upon my golden head >'yeah, it's the Rage Against The Machine band with the singer from that awesome 90's grunge band Seinfeld' >mfw
>be me >17 >highschhool >sister's boyfriend is a drug dealer >pretty cool guy >try to convince me to sell weed to fags >its free money so whatever >start selling weed >get a nice cut of money >Start getting in with the druggie crowd >meet qt3.14 >typical punk look >purple highlight in hair with a beanie always >I never actually smoke the weed >hang out with her and friends >smoke a few bowls to impress her >all the other normies are flipping their shit in the corner >her and I talking >heyoureprettygood.wmv >start texting her a lot >she asks me if I want to go out sometime >ohfuckyea.gif cont.
Nicholas Morris
A bit too tryhard and too much random pointless fluff, but not total dogshit.
4.5/10
Sebastian Morris
>best friend and I 13 years old >Internet is fairly new, porn takes a good minute to load one image >awkwardly look at porn together with painful bones >watch vhs porn during sleepover and jack it on oposited sides of the room >jack off together in a newspaper recycling dumpster >playing devil may cry one day, start wrestling and end up humping each other >this becomes a common thing >start doing it in boxers, grinding til we cum on each other's backs >get bored and record it one time with oldschool vhs video camera >friend dies in a car wreck a few years later >mfw there's a tape of us Cumming on each other out there somewhere
727273311 727272908 727267098 >>>>be me >>>>be at house party in college >>>>socially awkward >>>>party sluts everywhere >>>>all the myths you hear aren't really true >>>>no jocks >>>>Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone >>>>End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonig
Dominic King
Fucking exploding anal cavity
Easton White
>go out to a park for lunch >gay as fuck >we sit on a chair and she climaxes look at the ducks >put my hand on her knee >she looks at me >kiss >ohshityeaboy.mp3 >after this we start seeing eachother a lot more than we used to >make this shit official >one day she asks if I can get coke >sarcastically reply from a vending machine I'm so fucking funny >playfully slaps me >"no you dickhead, like cocaine" >ask sister's shitty boyfriend >"yea man just careful its hard when you first do it" I'm not a fucking pussy >go to gf's house >father walked out on her when she was like 5 >mother is always drunk >fuck here a lot because I have functional parents at my house >go to her room >mum is passed out on the couch as I walk up > open shitty little baggy >pour it onto her desk >divide it up into lines like you see in the movies >No idea what I'm fucking doing >she takes first hit >up her nose >tries to get me to >sure why not cont.