Green text stories? Green text stories

Green text stories? Green text stories.

>be me, 2014, closing semester of my final year of high school.
>just broke up with gf of 2 years; I was tired of feeling unappreciated
>nearly strangle a kid in AP World history class because he insisted on being an absolute fucking walnut earlier that day.
>final period, I take my seat in a filler history class just because I loved the teacher. (Can also include snippets from his lectures completely roasting dipshits with a single remark)
>my younger sister's friend whom always wore baggy, loose-fitting clothing (always thought she was a guy till she spoke)
>she's had a major crush on me since my junior year
>she starts flirting with me
>howboutnoyoufuckingraisin
>teacher is giving no fucks if people are paying attention, just kind of cascades his wisdom down through the foothills of idiocy hoping someone actually listens for once, but expression on his face is blank and unchanging
>bells about to ring
>whatsertitties starts to rub my back
>iamuncomfortable.exe
>we ride the same bus home (disclaimer, I am poor)
>she knitted me a scarf
>degenerative walking regressions of the human genome start to pipe up and begin critiquing her
>tell them they'd be lucky if the people from the halfway house they seek refuge in at times wouldn't even give them proper deodorant
>they stop talking
>get off bus at my stop

>....continue?

sure.

ye, go on

Plz

bump

bumpo

bumperooni nigger.

Y u so mean?

>I'm a pretentious little shit at this time in my life so I'm reading walden like a euphoric fedora faggot
>I get random text
>whatsertitties got my number
>howintheflamingostrichfuck
>immediately burst into my sister room demanding to know if she gave that stringy haired leech my number
>she's a bagel/10
>proceed to ask the Jewish doughnut why she gave her my number
>she says it was fine since I wasn't seeing the rosy colored cunt anymore
>I call her a bitch or something
>get another text from the man girl
>she asks if I'd like to visit her at home
>whatever.gif
>ask house hitler for keys to see -insert random name-
>former chancellor of Germany grills me because of course I have ulterior motives
>she relents and I go to titties' house
>she opens the door, sleek black silky hair, skin-tight shirt (she's a big c-cup from what I could judge) and leggings
>I'm fucking dumbfounded

...continue? Sorry guys this is a long one

>be freshman
>New school, was known for drugs at old one and needed new start
>awkward asf
>buttfuck egypt.exe
>get to know some kids. Very cool
>live with cousin at time
>cousin is my dood he drives me places
>I joke about shooting up schools niggers and etc etc
>one day my cousin catches on and starts too
>goes too far one day
>Police come and ask for cousin.
>I flip shit and think they looking for me
>Seriously wipe phones and hide them
>Be grounded a lot and have multiple shitty phones
>Find out cousin does in fact threaten to go Columbine on their asses
Fast forward a week
>Was kept home so I wouldn't tell anyone everything
>Be at Walmart with cousin
>We're in gun isle
>Snapchat pic of him in gun isle with back to school shopping
>Dumb cunt screenshots and calls cops
>Cops contact me and expel me
>Mfw a picture off school grounds gets me expelled

yes you fucktwat

cont

what the fuck did you think would happen retard

It wasn't on school grounds
Phone wasn't schools property
It was a fucking picture
Explain how it's expulsion material?

Bump

continue dude

you joked about bringing a gun to a school? joke or not and on school grounds or not any school would of done the same

No I didn't you read it wrong autismo
I took a Snapchat of my cousin while we were in the gun isle. Which also has bb guns? No expulsion hearing. Just expulsion.

Same guy here, but how are people gonna be allowed to put school shooting memes way worse than what I did on Instagram and be allowed in school for fucks sake a suspension is too far even but I mean they went for expulsion

tldr; autistic spaghetti tier edgelord gets expelled for obvious reasons.

Chill bro, it's just a prank

You have to be 18 or older to post here. Also, if you have this hard of time understanding why you got expelled, good luck in the real world.

That's what Osama said.

I am 18 sperglord nice try tho

yo when is OP gonna update story. takin too fuckin long

No I dont wanna read the rest.

I'll suck the jizz out of your cock like a dirty chupacabra spick in your sleep.

>be me
>be at house party in college
>socially awkward
>party sluts everywhere
>all the myths you hear aren't really true
>no jocks
>Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone
>End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight

I hope my mom dies

>walnut
?

Fucking shit

Bump

I'm sure she feels the same way about you

Then fucking act like it, child.

god damn it

>be me
>be 17
>be at country club
>with my dog and homies
>planning to swim a little and then eat a snack
>sight potato tard
>approaching to my doggo
>tard starts petting my dog but instead he is slaping and pulling his ears
>my dogg is nice with people he doesnt know
>But this tard was going full retard
>tell caretaker to do his fucking job
>he could not care less and keep talking whit a guy
>suddenly doggo bite his hand
>tard jump backwards and almost fall
>see hand
>covered with bruises, few blood and 2 small holes
>tard starts to cry
>says: that pony bit me
>dyinginside.jpg
>caretaker approaches
>see hand and is not big deal
>Caretaker says "what did that thing do to my little tard?!"
>me "what can i say, my dog likes potatos"
>mfw dog poop seconds later
>mfw i got kicked out and our later
>mfw i got banned six months

>Calls me child
>either your around my age and trying to be cool or your 40 and on b
>either way it's pretty bad

If this happened recently enough that you are on here crying about it, no. I'm not around your age.

Fuck you, she's an angel

And just like that the original green text is gone.

I don't know my mommy

Bump for stories. Not cancer.

>. Not canc
Wrong fucking board for that m8

I hope this thread isn't dead

A lot of niggers are dead.

Bump for op

Come on continue op

Is the jewish donut whacking him off

No clue

OP never delivers

Op is a faggit

Cant risk

Continue fag

Bump

>
cunt

hahhaha

...

how on earth did these ridiculous "would you do X for Y amount of money" facebook-tier nigger memes go from asking if i'd squish a yapping puppy for 2 Billion to the other end of the spectrum asking if i'd accepting being a permanently disabled amputee for a mere Thomas Jefferson??????

like what the fuck is up with these tricky niggers and their bait and switch tactics???

Hate retards who don't know where to put the dollar sign, it's always before the numbers, not after.

You sound like a major cunt to be around.

Hate retards who don't use the metric system.

RIEEEEE FUCKING CONTINUE FAG!

...

This.

>Metric system
>Good

Samefag

N I C E F E E T
I
C
E
F
E
E
T

It is better than your shit.

Fucc awf mayt.

i'll bite

continue of OP POST >I sit there kind of quiet and she walks up to me while I'm sitting on edge of bed
>asks if she looks ok in her clothes
>say they look nice
>she looks at me and smiles a tad
>instant boner
>then she says "wait a sec, let me change my shirt into something else" in a voice like trying to be sexy
>imokwiththis_dvdrip.avi.exe
>jokes with me that i better not look
>starts taking her shirt off but looks over her shoulder while she removes it slowly and sees im trying my hardest to sneak a peek
>smiles slyly at me again
>after she takes shirt off she asks me If i can help unhook her bra because she wants to change that aswell
>go over and fumble with it and have trouble
>finallly get it off then she grabs it and i'm still standing behind her
>turns around with her boobs in hand, but still poking her chest out trying to be flirty
>then says "wait, can you do something else for me?"
>I'm sitting there ready knowing whats next
>takes her hands off boobs then looks at me again
>then she says: "I need about tree fiddy"
>it was at this moment I knew this wasn't no average high school girl that had been friends with my little sister but was a 210 foot tall monster from the paleozic era
>damn loch ness monster tricked me again

The metric system is better then the imperial. It's so shit that the Japs were nuked for being Imperials

8/10

fucking what

Op your a faggit... I mean literally
Go kill yourself

opwrotethingslikethisalot
(Op wrote things like this a lot)

Cringe/10 ....... should have walked the dinosaur

...

7/10 wasn't expecting it

>>be me
>>be at house party in college
>>socially awkward
>>party sluts everywhere
>>all the myths you hear aren't really true
>>no jocks
>>Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone
>>End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight
nibba

SAFE

>gslikethisalot
>(Op wrote thin
Nice trap

copy pasted

Not a trap unfortunately :( image search it if you need proof of not trap.

RREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>>be me
>>>be at house party in college
>>>socially awkward
>>>party sluts everywhere
>>>all the myths you hear aren't really true
>>>no jocks
>>>Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone
>>>End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight

Fuck

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OC cunts

>be me late 20's
>trying hard to score 19 year old in bar
>qt, piercings and tats but half hearted shit, probably a cutter, daddy issues, not hardcore
>Audioslave comes on
>we dig
>she says 'hey this sounds alot like that Rage band'
>I turn to her with the knowledge of a thousand suns, the wisdom of ten hundred fedoras perched magically upon my golden head
>'yeah, it's the Rage Against The Machine band with the singer from that awesome 90's grunge band Seinfeld'
>mfw

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>be me
>17
>highschhool
>sister's boyfriend is a drug dealer
>pretty cool guy
>try to convince me to sell weed to fags
>its free money so whatever
>start selling weed
>get a nice cut of money
>Start getting in with the druggie crowd
>meet qt3.14
>typical punk look
>purple highlight in hair with a beanie always
>I never actually smoke the weed
>hang out with her and friends
>smoke a few bowls to impress her
>all the other normies are flipping their shit in the corner
>her and I talking
>heyoureprettygood.wmv
>start texting her a lot
>she asks me if I want to go out sometime
>ohfuckyea.gif
cont.

A bit too tryhard and too much random pointless fluff, but not total dogshit.

4.5/10

>best friend and I 13 years old
>Internet is fairly new, porn takes a good minute to load one image
>awkwardly look at porn together with painful bones
>watch vhs porn during sleepover and jack it on oposited sides of the room
>jack off together in a newspaper recycling dumpster
>playing devil may cry one day, start wrestling and end up humping each other
>this becomes a common thing
>start doing it in boxers, grinding til we cum on each other's backs
>get bored and record it one time with oldschool vhs video camera
>friend dies in a car wreck a few years later
>mfw there's a tape of us Cumming on each other out there somewhere

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEee........hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

727273311
727272908
727267098
>>>>be me
>>>>be at house party in college
>>>>socially awkward
>>>>party sluts everywhere
>>>>all the myths you hear aren't really true
>>>>no jocks
>>>>Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone
>>>>End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonig

Fucking exploding anal cavity

>go out to a park for lunch
>gay as fuck
>we sit on a chair and she climaxes look at the ducks
>put my hand on her knee
>she looks at me
>kiss
>ohshityeaboy.mp3
>after this we start seeing eachother a lot more than we used to
>make this shit official
>one day she asks if I can get coke
>sarcastically reply from a vending machine
I'm so fucking funny
>playfully slaps me
>"no you dickhead, like cocaine"
>ask sister's shitty boyfriend
>"yea man just careful its hard when you first do it"
I'm not a fucking pussy
>go to gf's house
>father walked out on her when she was like 5
>mother is always drunk
>fuck here a lot because I have functional parents at my house
>go to her room
>mum is passed out on the couch as I walk up
> open shitty little baggy
>pour it onto her desk
>divide it up into lines like you see in the movies
>No idea what I'm fucking doing
>she takes first hit
>up her nose
>tries to get me to
>sure why not
cont.

RREEEEEEEEEEEEE

Lurking