How was Sup Forums's first time having sex? Lost my V card last month, went pretty poorly. Stories?

How was Sup Forums's first time having sex? Lost my V card last month, went pretty poorly. Stories?

Lost mine to a hooker. It happened so long ago that I can hardly remember it; being really drunk at the time probably doesn't help with that. It didn't help with enjoying it, either. Between being really drunk and also wearing a condom, I just kept fucking and fucking but I couldn't cum. It ended up reaching a point where she enjoyed it more than I did.
All in all quite disappointing and set the pace for a strange and mostly unfulfilling sex life.

>It ended up reaching a point where she enjoyed it more than I did.
No it didn't.

it was awful
my ass bled ever time I shit for a week
it wasn't that he was big
it was that I was 9

I was 14, this 16yo guy who went to my school kept looking at me and obv wanted me. Hormones go wild at that age and it was nice to feel wanted so I got talking to him and gave him my virginity.

Please share your extensive experience with hookers with us.

femanon?

Hahahaha. Accurate

Do you like going to work?

I was 16, she was 15. Girlfriend of a few months. She was also a virgin, and super tight. My dick is just big enough that I had to really cram it in there, despite her gushing wetness. I was afraid i was hurting her and couldnt nut. She came 4 times over the next hour+, i didn't come at all. Sounds cool and all now, but I was pretty let down then.

yes

To be fair to that guy I once made a hooker cum by going down on her

You're going to swing this to say that I'm disingenuous to my work's customers, yes? Well I'm not. There are some people out there that do work for all kinds of reasons and they often have more than one. Also I realise you're trying to sidestep the fact that you have no knowledege of or exerperience with hookers, but that's okay.
See sort of like this. Though I would never eat a hooker out.

no story here.
I'm 49 and KHVirgin

What spells do you know oh wise one?

Does anyone have the pasta where user did a mixtape for his gf, and when he was about to cum, the circus theme came on?

It was quick and disapointing, but I was done with it at least

I lost mine to a 16 year old nymph when I was 13. 15 years ago now. It was a standard night in my hometown. Running around getting drunk like little delinquents do. She takes me to this shitty little junk yard and rides me like a carousel horse. I'm terrified and finding it hard to stay hard. My dick hurt for like 3 days after. To be fair though I lasted about 15 minutes.

>Though I would never eat a hooker out
Don't unless you're really, really turned on by the thought and know the risks. For me it was a big fantasy so just thought fuck it.

pic of your body at least, if not face

First ever time i got a hand job while i was sleeping. I woke up cursing cause i assumed i dreamt it and had a wet dream.

First blowjob was terrible, took 30 minutes then 5 more minutes of me jerking off

First pussy sex was fucking awesome. Lasted 30 minutes, came inside, fell asleep

>18 years old
>first real gf
>chilling in my room watching spongebob
>work up the courage to kiss her
>make out for a while
>she sucks my dick for about ten minutes
>on her back
>pants down
>legs spread
>go in hard
>cum inside her 15 minutes later
>tfw i just wanted to make out

Oh god is that a Laughlin tombstone behind him?

>I'm a Laughlin
>weird

First time was with my wife. Fucked for 45 minutes but no orgasm. We were both nervous about it and needed practice.

Lost it at 22, got so used to fapping I didn't feel a thing, didn't cum. Now, one year and a couple girls later, I have problems getting my dick hard enough.
Does nofap really work?

This might be a sixth sense type situation and it's your own grave. You'd better find a child who looks like a normal child but who will later look really really strange as an adult to help you determine whether or not you are a ghost.

woops didn't mean to tag you there

Eh, I'd be cool with being a ghost.

Couldnt have been better. I got to bust inside her multiple times

Nup, never gonna happen. I didn't use hookers for that sort of thing (have completely gone off them since then and will probably never use one again).

Didn't even nut.
> be me, freshly 16
>spring break
> girlfriend of 3 months and we're both virgins
> been working it up starting with dry humping then handjobs then fingering and then bjs
> sneak out of house and walk to hers
> I'm a faggot 16 year old wth no vehicle
>hop in window
>talk awhile
>start making out
>"hey user you got condom?"
>of course.jpg
>my time has come!!!
>missionary is what we start with
>put tip in super tight and it's all complaining
>"ow slow down, hold on, it hurts"
>mfw when it's nothing like a porno
>about 8 minutes of complaining and I'm bored, no fun at all
>finally pull out and take condom off
>ends with a bj and some fingering

My super lame virgin story. Honestly sucked.

No story yet.

Almost went out with four tinder girls this month but it didn't work out for reasons. Could've gotten laid, probably.

Made an account on sex/dating site yesterday. Posted a pic of my body and said I'm inexperienced. Two girls approached me saying they're interested, but I'm kinda scared now because I don't really want to get STDs.

Post body