Tinder thread. Post your success stories, fail stories, pictures, anything tinder related...

Tinder thread. Post your success stories, fail stories, pictures, anything tinder related. For the successful tinder fags out there... how do you do it??

I fucked OP's mom.

>Two months ago
>Match with cute 18-year-old gal
>Large tits, ass; skinny
>Get to talking
>Meet at parking garage
> She gets in my car
>Foul smell creeps into my nostrils
>Decide to ignore because tailing a dump truck with windows down
>Go inside small log cabin playhouse
>Both begin to strip
>Girl reaches into bag
>Pulls out pacifier, diapers and bottle
>"Daddy, I made a mess in the car"
>Needs changed
>Peered into diaper out of curiosity
>Someone ate copious amounts of carrots hours prior
>Boner = No Boner
>Sprint to car and drive away
>Diaper-baby remains in log cabin
Fast-forward to present day
>Receive text saying "hey" every day since the accident

>For the successful tinder fags out there... how do you do it??

being a chad helps

>only just signed up for tinder
>see lots of cuties
>also see some girls I knew from highschool
>never swiped left or right on the highschool girls, just quit the app
>after a while they stop showing up entirely
>not sure if they noped me or I got a bug

...

In a 2 year relation with a woman from tinder.

> s

> Get on Tinder
> Match within 1 hr
> Doesn't work out
> New match 20 yr old
> Start Flirting
> Asked me to come over 4 days later
> Got at her house
> Started up Movie
> 15min in Having sex fully naked on the couch
> Parents unexpectedly come home
> Get Caught
> Kicked out & Threatened.
> Months later my shoes are still there i guess..

>friend says get tinder
>basically hate all women, mostly use it to shit talk fatties
>laugh at girls with cerebal palsy
>match a few decent chicks
>match a whore, adds me on snapchat, sends nudes from the get go
>invites me to her house 3 mins around the corner
>eat her puss, she wasn't as good as she looked in photos
>sucks my dick
>whip out condom "don't need that, I'm on the pill"
>smash halfheartedly
>"You have my number, we can do this again sometime"
>delete all contact, delete tinder, contemplate life and why I hate myself

You probably have aids now, congratulations user

I actually put vodka on my dick
Got tested, all clear

>tryingtoohard/10

Wew lad what did genital warts taste like?

she was clean, just not hot
>regrets

>Sometime last year
>Work abroad in Italy for a while
>Match with curly redhead
>She says she is in Venice for the weekend for work
>Wants to meet up
>Meet my ex on the ferry to Venice wtf moment
>Go to meet her at San Marco's square
>Hit the pub for a few beers
>Check what time my ferry back leaves
>She insists I go with her to the hotel she's staying at
>Expecting crappy hostel or so as her work paid for it
>Arrive at hotel it's the fucking Hilton
>Fuck her a couple times
>Sleep for a little while
>Wake up early as I had to get back for work
>One more fuck before I go
>Got to work with a big grin on my face
>Co-workers had trouble believing it

She's raw dogging Internet randos. If that's clean then I'm fucking pristine

It's pretty simple OP

Any tips for an oldfag (35) using tinder in a predominantly student town? (average age 18-24)

Not had much luck with it so far.

Generally I'm pretty successful with women in person but for some reason my Tinder game is shit.

Maybe I'm just an unphotogenic fuck.

Need a way to get the Daddy issues flowing as that's the approach that works in person.

yo ok so im usually far more confident and above asking on Sup Forums for tinder advice - maybe its the drugs -

so i've been chatting to this girl for maybe 2-3 days, she seems pretty interested in me, all of her replies have been long and she's been trying to feign interest / knowledge about things i enjoy, because i seem to know a lot about things she enjoys so the conversation is going pretty well, but...

so she hasnt replied to my message today, it's only 1pm, im on adderall atm so i'm likely overthinking the whole situation, i was going to wait until she messaged me first, because i messaged her first yesterday. what if she doesn't? should i wait a day? not message at all?

i'm not very thirsty for girls, quite a hermit crab but she's a model / artist, and i'm a model / musician and she seems nice enough, but how do i tell if her interest has waned?

I skip the first and second date and invite them right to my place. Earlier this week the girl wanted to meet at a coffee shop first before coming over. Cost of date and getting laid:1.50

i bet he was wearing a fedora and tipped it every time he returned.

most recent hookup:
>be last month
>meet 27 y.o. on tinder
>she's older than I usually go for but cute and doesn't seem too eager for a relationship
>meet and get drunk
>she's super funny and chill, but I don't get any signals from her
>seems like she'd be a friend but not interested in having me fuck her
>couple of weeks go by of us chatting
>wants to meet again, but this time for smoke at hers
>go over and get blazed
>start making out
>in her living room she starts sucking me off
>great view and lots of eye contact
>feels really good
>go to bedroom and start fucking
>fuck for a long time
>doing doggy and keep staring at her butt hole
>start stroking it with thumb in small circles
>she responds well
>"you want anal?"
>awkward 5 minutes of me trying to get into her tight hole
>lots of lube later I sink in and hear her satisfied moan
>fuck her hard in the butt
>she tells me not to cum in her arse
>pull out
>she doesn't want to suck
>go to shower and shower together
>once clean she gets on her knees and starts sucking again
>give her massive facial with her tongue sticking out
>she sucks the last few drops
>clean up
>go back to living room for smoke watch a movie
>this girl is amazing

anyone have a bigger version of this?

Does everyone else secretly record their tinder fucks?

...

so are you gonna let us decide how bad she looked? im rly interested user

No, because we don't have an ego to feed that requires us to show whom we fuck with.

Speak for yourself fag

Got laid last night, hot 21 year old life guard girl studying environmental science. At first we were supposed to meet at a bar around 9 but I was helping a friend move so I only got home at 11. She made me feel bad about how she dressed up nice and did her hair for nothing, so I said come right to my place. Shows up, looks even sexier than her pictures, was on vacation, had sexy tan and tan lines. Didn't take long before I had her naked in my bed. Fucked her several times, then she left around 4am.
I have a lot more stories, I've literally slept with over a hundred girls ever since I started using tinder.

Maybe she wanted to just fuck but you made it not worth the wait.

You're stupid. It's not about showing other people, it's about fucking a hottie and rewatching the vids later. Watching yourself fuck hot girls is better than watching porn of other people.

it's definitely a possibility that i talked her out of fucking me, but it seemed to me she was perfectly happy talking on tinder (then fb) because her messages were all long, thought out replies, if we were talking music, she'd listen then message, and i mentioned meeting up yesterday but she was busy, and hasn't really spoken since

i dont know her situation she might have a hundred boys on the go, i just wish there was a way of knowing if they were still interested or not, like if girls would unmatch the moment they stopped caring, that'd be great so i guess i'll just sit it out

>thinking i was serious
Yes i understand the whole filming myself fucking some cutie, but not so much if it shows my face since it just seems a bit off and kills the mood.

with a video, you only remember the video

i've fucked some gorgeous models and i remember the details perfectly, nothing beats that, and i keep in contact with them after even as friends and get off from the fact they still love me

shall i just message her anyway, and not be a spastic caring about "3 day rule" and shit like that, if she's interested, surely she won't think less of me for being interested in her, and if she gets turned off by it then so be it, because she may well already be uninterested

...

Only remember the video... I don't agree, anyway I've fucked so many girls I wouldn't be able to remember them all if I didn't have videos.
And I don't know what the other guy has against seeing your own face, not sure if you unintentionally hinted even you find yourself ugly

>meet girl on tinder in May 2015
>our 2 year anniversary in July this year

well i mean most of the girls i've slept with i can see naked in google images anyway

Honestly I have no clue, if you wanna fuck it's best to set that tone from the beginning so they would at least know what your intentions are. However if you're looking for a relationship keep doing whatever you want to make that happen, learn from mistakes and improve your game.

Oh ya like who

>see thicc, tall redhead girl
>into horror movies/b movies
"Yeah okay"
>swipe right
>match
>Start talking, she's a little pushy/needy
>talk for a few weeks, it's fun and nice anyways
>decide to meet, she lives a few blocks away
>meet her after her shift, go to her house
>random ass roomates, sideye me mean as fuck
>we go into her room and lay in her bed
>she's not as cute as her pic, still cute tho
>watch movies about alien abduction, she smokes, we just lay and talk about weird shit
>nothing happens, neither of us try to make anything happen
>talk more but tell her I'm sorta in and outta shit with this other girl and I don't wanna catch her in it
>she gets mad as fuck but calms down because I didn't use her as a side bitch
>we keep talking but ultimately it just fizzles out, she moves outta town, see her on FB somtimes, seems thirsty af but nice

Not really a success story but the last time I used tinder. Just..felt bad somehow.

i'd fuck her

yeah thanks for the advice really appreciate it, tinder thread's are one of the least cancerous places on b. i dont really know what i want, that's why i'm quite apathetic, i have this stupid loyalty complex whereby if a girl i think is nice shows interest in me, then i immediately stop looking at other girls and focus on this one, though i'm not too bothered about the outcome. need to work on this, if i wasn't so apathetic, i would get let down often

pic related is my ex gf, met her on tinder in paris

I'm the one who doesn't like to watch myself fuck with my face showing and no I'm not ugly, quite the opposite in fact. The main reason for it is that it feels like as if I'm some kind of self-absorbed and it's weird.

dw mate you dont have to justify yourself i agree with you completely, and i'm above secretly filming girls, i've become really proud of how good a person i am, since being made aware of just how much of an impression it leaves, and how long the impression lasts

What's her name

another one
>match with kinda butch chick, looks good tho
>talk a little bit, seems okay
>asks me if i wanna go for a drink
>fuckin never reply, not even interested but still paralyzed
>get a message once a month for 3 months about drinks
>randomly see her while around town with different female friend
>fucking duck
>friend confused

It's not a spicy story but i feel like it sums up how fucking lame i am

not giving, why do you want it?

>It's not a spicy story but i feel like it sums up how fucking GAY i am
So you matched with someone you can fuck and they want to fuck as well, yet you act like you don't want pussy and rather prefer cock.

if you wanna make an omelette, you gotta crack some eggs

I have too many stories
>get tinder
>after 2 months get a match
>every photo is a selfie from the same angle
>kinda fat but has big tits
>she sends nudes
>after chatting to her a bit more I find out she is textbook low social economical hood slut
>19, no job, no drivers licence, mother to a 2 year old
>she knows the town I live in because her ex was locked up there in jail
>also former ice (meth) addict
>Found out all this during a Skype call
>during call kid walks in and thinks I'm her dad
>unmatched and delete her

Be careful i caught feelings on tinder and been dating this chick I met on there for over a year

That was kinda funny, keep em coming user.

>been on tinder over a year by this point
>match chick, seems nice about a 7/10
>decide to meet up, go over to pick her up, turns out she lives with my work mate, starts off weird from the get go
>Turns out she is super stupid
>no licence, atleast she had a job
>shitty job, almost always flat broke
>issues to the core
>met her 3 or so times
>she calls me in the middle of the night telling me she had taken some kind of pill on the floor of a bar thinking it was mdma
>explain to the shit of brains how it might not be mdma
>calls me again at 3am saying she took another one
>never spoke to her again

Dead set actually happend

>Be me, 25 year-old
>What about Tinder®
>Quite so!
>Set up an account...
>...some photos
>Anxiety attack 3. 2. 1...
>Fuck it... Fuck it..
>discontinued operationI'm a recluse idiot...

>shit for brains
Even I'm not sure if I'd fuck her simply because it might come back to bite me back some how.

is there an actual video or is this shopped?

Get dick sucked/stuck in someone, feel good and so on..

Bump

I have made matches but I do nothing because I have no car and place just wanted to see if girls dig me visually.

>had Tinder for a while now
>mainly using it when shitting
>mostly swipe left because not liking the girl
>have like 450 matches
>some message me first
>reply if she is interesting at least
>ignore others
>most of them don't keep a good conversation

Fuckin kek

Not doing these in chronological order because I'm retarded
This occurred about late 2015
This occurred mid 2014

>be early 2015
>study about an hour away from where I live
>start getting desperate (2.5year dry spell)
>shit for brains me boots up tinder while on campus
>match one of the few girls that actually reply
>start chatting to a 7/10 pommie (british) red head
>after 2 months of chatting and asking "when are you free", "oh I'll have to check my schedule." finally meet her
>cool chick, would date
>spend about another 2 months trying to ask out on date with same results
>she asks me to go to the pub with her mates, be there 830.
>catch 2 hour train (public transport is really obscure here)
>get there, she's drunk as hell, her friends are really obnoxious
>meet her best friend, she is much nicer
>she had been there since 5
>15 min later she wants to go home
>later decides to go to another pub
>we get in separate taxis and I wait half hour before she gets to next pub
>30 min later her friends and her go home
>super shit night, stay at uni friends house for the night.

>shit for brains me decide to try again next week
>same shit again she calls it a night before I even get there
>finally give up

>moved to another state, small town >hooked up with this super skinny meth smoking whore a few times.
> get a job about a month later, haven't talked to her for a while
>hook up with girl at work even though she's married into eminent family in town
>new girl gets hired, engaged, flirting for two days, breaks up with him and moves out, started dating, funny, smart, sexy, all around awesome
>meth girl gets hired
>she's married too
>meth girls ends up telling already jealous work hookup how we fucked
>work hookup tells new gf
>in blind rage gf tells both their husbands on fb
>one divorce, one broken engagement
>work hookup quits
>gf leaves
>work hates me
>town hates me
>can't even buy cigarettes without attitude anymore
>can't quit, only well paying job in sixty miles

and i thought small town life sucked before it all went down

And yet somehow you're the bad guy in all of this...

How the hell do you find your waifu on tinder? I've heard success stories from other anons that have found human versions of their favorite anime characters but I've had no luck.

That sucks user. It's a good and bad thing to fuck around in small towns.

Get off Tinder.

>be on tinder
>see a fit bitch i've wanted to fuck for ages but thought was out of my league
>big tits, amazing eyes, tattoos, everything I like in a girl
>swiped right
>IT'S A FUCKING MATCH
>My heart is in my fucking mouth
>I thought she'd made a mistake
>a few hours go by and I get a message
>it's her: hey, are you really from Anontown? I've never seen you before!
>me: yeah, i've seen you around a few times, those tattoos caught my eye!
>obviously it was her tits that caught my eye
>conversation goes on for a few hours, she tells me that she likes me
>her: "omg i've never had such a lengthy conversation on here before"
>me: "I've got something else that's lengthy that you might like too"
>I immediately regretted sending that
>her: "you're so cheeky ;) what are you doing wednesday?"
>it worked and as i happened, that wednesday was my day off
>we agreed to go for a mcdonalds, despite both agreeing on it being a shit place for a first date
>monopoly was on and we both loved it so why the fuck not
>FF a couple of hours and the date is going really well
>decide to go for a drive to the coast and park up
>sun's setting and it's romantic as fuck
>we go for a little walk and she holds my hand
>fighting back an erection at this point, this girl was like my ideal
>got back to the car
>she gets in the back
>wtf?
>her: "you not getting in the back user? ;)"
>I get in the back
>start kissing furiously
>I wasnt even scared of hiding my boner at this point
>grab her hand and put it on it
>she tells me she's on her period and can't fuck
>I get out the car
>she's asks whats up
>I'm too hot, hot damn
>Called a police and a fireman
>I'm too hot hot damn
>Make a dragon wanna retire man
>I'm too hot hot damn
>Say my name you know who I am
>I'm too hot hot damn
>Am I bad 'bout that money, break it down

MFW I didnt get a second date

This is kinda fucked up funny

>be late 2015
>match chick and meet her same day
>go meet her and she is super late, should of just went home
>looked much better in photos, she is a 5/10
>She brings her friend along for "support"
>Friend is a 16yo steriotypical hood attitude and has a kid she baught with her
>fuck it just went with it
>we go get lunch
>chicks friend's ex (also father of the baby) shows up and shenanigans start
>chick and i decide to go for a walk while mummy and daddy fight it out.
>turns out she has no driver's license or job, literal good for nothing leach
>also serious daddy issues
>next minute the cops are here
>Fucking leg it
>unmatch
>she keeps texting me constantly
>have to get phone company to block her number

You don't, It's a big gamble since most are there to just fuck and there's a sprinkling of people who genuinely want a relationship. Pull the leaver and the pictures spin and hope you get lucky.

Woop woop is da sound of da polees

Kek I'm stealing this one.

get fucked idiot

having moderate success; need all the tips i can get bros; what do i say in the bio? what sort of pictures are gonna give me that boost?

use this:

What can be said at all can be said clearly, and what we cannot talk about we must pass over in silence.

its philosophical, so smart bitches will get it, dumb bitches will think you're smart though

My first mistake was downloading tinder

Just cater to what you want. Sex? just make it fairly obvious that's what you want but not so much that your bio say: here to fuck, swipe right to have fun.. you get the gist and dick pics are a a huge gamble even more so if you're not decently endowed.

Nah, all i get is this Hey I'm a pretentious asshat!

Tell us about the mass amounts of poon that you can't handle.

Fast forward to early 2016

>not tinder but still applies
>meet chick as she's working
>10/10 and the Ass was 12/10
>Instantly start talking, she's awesome
>she gives me her number
>go out a week later, kinda far away (1.5hr)
>take her out for dinner (and I pay of course)
>all I going well
>decide to meet her friends at a pub later
>friends were much older then we were, was odd
>they ask how the date went
>she asks if that was supposed to be a date
>mfw I got duped
>never talked to her again, sometimes stalk her insta cause of Dat ass

From all these encounters (and a few others) tinder but the are working worst people in the world.

Of the people I swiped maybe 1 in 30 was a match

Of those maybe one in 15 responded to a message

Of those people 1 in 3 can actually hold a conversation

Of those people maybe 1 in 2 are complete leaches (no job no money no car, fully dependant)

Also strangely enough I am currently in a relationship with a girl I met on tinder 5 months ago and am very happy

I still however stand by this, women are shit

Whast do I message to girls so get them to fucking reply. I can't take pictures for shit so im screwed in that sense.

because you don't understand the quote, i use one by the same philosopher, meaning basically the same thing and i get matches,and interesting girls who try to compete and impress me with their knowledge, not just girls who want me to bow my head and flatter them


you carry on being a bitch though, if you think you can describe yourself adequately, you wouldn't have asked. pro-tip: nobody can, i'm just smart enough to not describe myself, for a good reason which attracts attention

I just hate when one of them looses interest after a few days and doesn't say anything and down the line they hook up with some fuckboy over the long term in their Instagram photos.

>pro-tip
Mainly cunts who think that they're smarter than everyone uses this shit. I may not know you, but I can tell I wouldn't get along with you since you seem fairly arrogant and believes themselves to be king shit. I can get along with most people but cunts like you are insufferable. Have fun with your who can be the bigger twat contests.

care to share?

And that's why i dont want to meet up with young mothers

not who you're replying to but you have a chip on your shoulder

I have one Tinder experience.

>Get Tinder
>First day
>Match with cute, half-asian half latina
>She's short, like 5'5. I'm tall 6'4. Usually only like tall white girls and have only ever been with them
>Add on FB, delete Tinder
>Get along great. She's 18 (I'm 27), works doing afterschool care, Catholic, nice, really good looking.
>Meet up after 3 days, go for 2am Pancakes (There's a 24hr place in the city)
>Back to mine
>Smash all night, lay together sleeping all next day
>Repeat for about a week
>"I wanna make sure this stays exclusive, user"
>Start dating after 2 weeks
>Been going strong for 9 months

Nothing interesting, but man did I get lucky

got any pics?

Yeah dude. I'm in the same boat. I'm even older than you. It just doesn't work. Tinder is for 20 somethings and their just not interested in old fags.

nice