Writing a story. Someone tell me a creative way to kill a bear

Writing a story. Someone tell me a creative way to kill a bear.

ask Timothy Treadwell

poison in honey

lots of LSD in bait

The same way I always kill bears.

Dynamite.

Bears are natures bros

German Supplex

draw it into a chase on purpose and hope you can tire him out, turn back when hes weak and kill him in a fight with a spear

Fire

Eats some berries or some fruit that get is drunk. It slips and falls off a cliff.

Or, a little milder, the bear passes out and dies when a horse comes up behind him and fucks him on cam.

>take bear and learn it's traits
>help bear in times of need
>try to comunicate with bear
>befriend bear
>teach the bear about phylosophy, psychology and sociology
>teach bear the concepts of inexistent free will in a world where all actions are predetermine
>bear has existential crisis
>bear kills self

If its a mama bear, kill her cubs and break their teeth off, then put their teeth on a baseball bat or club and kill the mama bear with it


What kind of a story is it? Is your would-be bear killer on mars? Is he fightin gargantuan bears at the center of the earth? You can't get (good) ideas with no base

beartrap on a fish in the lake, when he goes to take fish it catches on his mouth and he bleeds out

>train in the mountains of China with Chuck and Jackie Chan
>Charizard use fly
>Fly to Moscow
>drive to a remote part of Siberia
>proceeds to find bear
>bear spotted
>bear turns out to be half cyborg
>bear shoots rocket launchers
>dodge
>kill bear with one chop and proceed to have sex with the carcass
You win
Your face when you win

Have it running at the character as the character is running away, depending on the weapon, the character turns around and shoots/stabs it in the forehead and it slumps down in front of him/her. If there is no weapon, just punch it really hard in the nose and the bear be confused for a second, then more punches, only to the nose.

/thread

Set multitude of traps outside den. Noose in front of bait attached to rock above. Treble hooks and shit in bear if it moves it dead falls self. Or make it so if it moves in dead falls cub

Kill it like we do in Connecticut, with your car on the highway.

wow so clever and unexpected! xD

Before it hibernates fill his entire cave with Big Macs. When he eats them and he will have a heart attack and die in his sleep

Make its cub refuse to reply to one of those threads what kills ur mum if you don't reply.

Make it play Jeopardy and if he loses Alex trebek presses a button that activates a trap door behind the booth the bear is standing in and then Jabba the Hut eats him while Alex trebek faps hard to it

You really shouldn't post things like this, things that can cause incredible mental agony trying to cope with them. Just because you can absolutely torture the living shit out of someone's mind really doesn't mean you should. I really fucking hate that I just read that. Thank you for ruining my life. I have terrible OCD and this will probably be my singular thought and reality until I kill myself.

I hope you're happy.

global warming

crack it open.

they'll never see this coming...

with your BARE hands

replacing the bees in the hive with africanized killer bees.

remote control explosives in the entire spawning salmon population

a unicycle that has to go 66 miles an hour or it explodes.

AIDS

when it goes to bite you, leap into it's throat and simply sit in it's throat/mouth until it suffocates. You have to be careful though because if you don't jump fast enough it might mange to bit your ankles, you need to be very streamlined so you'll slip straight in.

rub your dick all over the pick-a-nic basket

global warming

Thermonuclear device in a picnic hamper.

I'm sure you know this, but it's not the way a bear is killed that makes the story. It's the presentation. So with that being said, try working with a vx nerve agent. Kim-Jong nam style.

fuck me

...

Become a bear. Earn its trust and on its wedding day, kill his entire family. Save his gay lover for the end and when he has nothing left, then you kill him. With a banana in the windpipe.