>CSI: the movie
Jesus, what a steaming pile of dog shit.
>Damon on suicide watch for a bewilderingly absent performance in his once great (lol) franchise.
>Tommy Lee Jones channeling emperor Palpatine.
Anybody else fuck up and see this heinous crime of a flick?
>tfw talked 2 friends into going and am almost certain they now view me as a turbo pleb, even though I booed loudly several times to let everyone know I was NOT entertained
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So did they just scrap the renner plot?
Admit that the Greek protest scene was a pure kinographic setpiece.
I can usually follow spy-thrillers very well but this was just a horrific trainwreck. >Tons of flashbacks ala the Manchurian candidate but far less interesting
>Unidentifiable people walking with shaky cam on them then SMASH CUT to Tommy Lee Jones looking like he just opened the ark of the covenant.
>Matt Damon LITERALLY phoning it in
>Random Snowden reference for cultural tie in to realism (I guess??)
It was cringeworthy bad. They even had the part with a blurry photo that they enhance to perfect resolution
>tfw you whispered "don't say 'enhance'" as she says "Enhance"
Saw it yesterday and can confirm that the movie is shit. This should be a sticky so nobody loses their money anymore,
>Renner version better than any of Damon's
>Greece scene decent
>Will prob never watch this movie again, nothing special 5/10
Had nothing else to do
I will not admit anything, you filthy dungeon troll. It was hot trash
>implying the Bourne movies were ever good
The thing that pissed me the most is that they spend half of time looking at the computers and talking an phones. Vikander’s accent is garbage and they cut the black guy’s catchphrase from the trailer.
Best part of the film for sure.
It had lots of ups and down. Shitty plot, retarded Vegas chase scene that didnt need to exist, killing off Nikki was wasted potential since there were some small hints dropped in Ultimatium that could have been used for stuff.
Holy fuck that shaky cam, what the fuck.
I still dont get what Nikki was trying to accomplish. why bring her back at all for a shitty purpose. also as u mentioned...i remember that scene in ultimatum being weird as fuck..
He asks her why him or something and she implied...she liked him?
Something like that. Perhaps they were involved romantically before he volunteered or during.
Would have been more interesting then what we got.
>implying the Bourne movies were ever good
I have always liked them more then say another James Bond or Mission Impossible cash in.
Either way, cant recommend this one, 5/10 just torrent it.
Car chase scene that didn't need to exist
Fucking this. My whole theater row was on the edge of our seats in sheer disbelief. Like what was that swat vehicle? The bat mobile? Just freight training through a street of cars, hurling them up into the air? Like are we still watching a 'realistic' spy-thriller or is this a dream sequence in inception? Oh wait this can't be a dream because NO ONE IS FUCKING WAKING UP. THE SCENE GOES ON. AND ON. AND ON. Countless cars destroyed and countless camera shots of Matt Damon shifting, for what?? A shithouse alley fight riddled with cliche. I want to eternal Sunshine this abortion of a movie from my brain. Let me see colors as I did before Jason bourne
>Torrent it
Fuck you
hey do you remember that time someone asked you a question and then your reply had nothing to do with answering it
>tfw you whispered "don't say 'enhance'" as she says
>"Enhance"
I literally did this. Fucking movie felt like a parody.
This is some shit tier bait
Do YOU remember that time you became an hero?
I went to it.
A 3/10. They couldn't have made it more predictable and boring.
>antagonist is driving armored swat van
>runs into parked cars
>they fly 50 feet in the air like a massive tank with a plow has just hit them
>meanwhile police officers are announcing several times that Jason is driving a DODGE CHARGER™
>"That guy that's been hunting you for the whole movie and has like a huge boner 4 u? Yeah that's the big bad you've been flashbacking about"
This is what Matt is doing while Ben singlehandedly revives cape kino
This 100%
TEXT
ON
HIS
FACE
Computers, cell phones and surveillance has ruined spy movies.
>watched it today with my family
>almost fell asleep during the car chase
>"enhance it" made my entire family laugh
>the female character was dry
>would have really enjoyed Claire Danes playing that role
I really wish this movie was good, but it's okay at best.
basically this
the original trilogy was so good. why does holywood have to ruin everything?
Totally ruined immersion for me
No leftist protest in Greece would ever fly the Greek flag
There were so many Greek flags you'd think it was a Golden Dawn demo
This is true Matt Damon is shit
>Matt Damon (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Breaking Bad) stars as Jason Bourne, a secret agent gone rogue that can't remember what he's doing today. Julia Stiles (10 things I hate about you) plays Nikki, a cerebral palsy sufferer that is put out of her misery early on - the audience won't be so lucky! Join these unlikely heroes as they get tangled up in a convoluted cliche hell-bent on taking down the reanimated corpse of Agent K, reprised by Tommy Lee Jones(Men in Black). Hold on to your seats and fasten your safety helmets for a no hold's barred, adrenaline fueled, action thrill-ride the New York times is calling "A poor effort!"
Jason Bourne
>reanimated corpse of Agent K
kek
Excellent car chase scene but very lacking hand to hand scenes
This film was objectively 3/10
So fucking shit
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It was. Did you miss the Golden Dawn flags?
>use SKYUUEL(SQL) to corrupt their database
All of my cringe
on the contrary
>Car chase scene that didn't need to exist
yup
from the trailer it's shitty comicvydia/tier
>you don't see the tribut
is it that bad, or are you IT illiterate?
How was the BREEEEEE BREEEEE moment?
He's right though.
Well the first one was half decent because they adapted half the book it was based on.
Problem is the rest of the series never expanded past "Bourne on the run from evil false flagging CIA/big brother" shit. They've done it 5 times now.
This one could have been interesting if they had him working FOR the government against an actual foreign threat.
But no they did the same thing for the 5th fucking time.
As bland and unimaginative as the title and the rest of the film in general.
>even though I booed loudly several times to let everyone know I was NOT entertained
You're kidding about the car chase right?
First of all nobody says it like S Q L, second of all if anything you use a SQL injection