So my job at Dollar Tree said I could make funny announcements on the PA in the evening

So my job at Dollar Tree said I could make funny announcements on the PA in the evening.

Any suggestions that won't get me fired?

Two niggers and two quarters don't equal a dollar.

>my job at Dollar Tree

thank you user, the entire catalog has been flooded with repetitive assholes for a while now but that post made me laugh so hard i almost pissed myself.

thanks again.

Please announce that TACO CAT spelled backwards is still TACO CAT.

Your shoppers need to know this.

"Sale on isle 4. Everything is only $1!"

second

Checked

check 'em on isle 4

That's a good one lol

>Bring in random instrument (like weird shit like an electric ukulele)
>start playing remove kebab as out of tune as you can,
>profit?

Why does my cock hurt when I pour shampoo into it?

...

"How do you enforce frog only parking?"
>pause
"Have violators be toad!"

TATER TOTS ARE FREE IF YOU FIND THEM ON ISLE 7

SURPRISE YOUR LOVED ONES WITH OUR USED CONDOMS!

Maybe it's because...

> into

See also image verification. Kinda fitting.

Announce that for a dollar shoppers can start a layaway plan for Christmas

Apparently I am correct with my trips of truth. :P

we have people who drive like women through our lot all the time so its not even a joke

At my old job I'd super glue quarters to the floor and watch people try to pick them up..shit could get cray cray at your place.

Ask the store on the PA if someone can lend you .99 cents cuz ur a lil short.

i used to do this when i lived in the city. we could see from the living room. mornings were always the best times, watching office workers in high heels kicking the fuck out of it

Attention, shoppers. You're shoppers! That's awesome!
(click)

Attention, shoppers. We're currently hurtling through space at a rate of 67,000 miles per hour through a vast and cold universe. Warm up with some tater tots! On sale for (x moneys) in our frozen section.
(click)

Attention shoppers! There are only 270 shopping days left until Christmas! Buy the gift that says "I got this back in April so I wouldn't have to shop later", with literally anything currently in stock!
(click)

Attention, shoppers! I found a nickel! Yay nickels!
(click)

Attention, shoppers! Godzilla proof your home with the one snack that's sugary enough to give the King of Monsters diabetes - Twinkies, now available in our snack food section!
(click)

Attention shoppers! We are having a buy one get one free promotional sale on every item for celebrating being 10k in debt!

...

Attention shoppers! Sandy sells sea shells down by the seashore, I repeat, Sandy sells sea shells down by the seashore, thank you for shopping!

THIS.

because the shampoo is cold compared to your dick.