Real post Sup Forums

Real post Sup Forums

I've been psychology fucked and bullied so often by my worn torn PTSD over bearing over controlling brother that I want he to see me dead in front of him so he knows what he did and lives with it

My extensive knowledge of engineering is only adding fuel to the flame since its why he's so hard on me, and why if I put my mind to it I could find a way to kill myself one way or another.

I'm having anxiety and panic attacks from the thought of living with him for Engineering University
What sould I do?

Someone fucking bumb
reply
tell me to kill myself

anything

Is anyone reading
do you even give a shit?

Play Tetris a lot. I'm not kidding. Google Tetris PTSD.

Jesus, dude, calm down for starters. You're not making any sense.

I already do
the logic is calming, but it's only a in the moment fix and he'll always be a bully

why don't you move

like move house

Killing him will be MUCH more cathartic. Plus it sounds like youd be doing all of us a flavor.

Im under stress, have no sleep and have been on suicide watch for my suicidal brother for 3days
I can't think straight

Hit him over the head with a blunt object. Not enough to kill him, but enough to seriously hurt him. Then tell him why you did that and that it'll happen again if he keeps bullying you.

Get a job and move. End.
That the best revenge.
If you do better than him eventually, than you'll be laughing to the bank.

Wait are you suicidal, or your brother? Or both?

My parents are immigrants, we're poor as it is
he has military paying for college and housing

I'm fucking 23 and still don't own a car

what should you do?
Seriously?

Look at not living with him..... -_-

kill yourself

The meaner you are, the longer you live
I try killing him I'll just end up in jail or a psych ward

whatever effect you think you're gonna have on your brother by killing yourself, is it really worth your life to have that effect?
You could just fucking move away, cut all ties and start a new life somewhere else. Killing yourself is a really pointless solution to the problem you're trying to solve

join the military yourself then genius

he's cracked his skull open before multiple times
Dumb fuck can't die

Xanax

my brother is (2nd oldest), mil guy is oldest
We've both been considered over him, ive been sleeping 4 hrs per day to make sure he's safe at night

Not till I get my EE degree
besides, I'm no Grunt too smart and fragile

I'm just tired of him trying to criticize and control everything
Fucker hacks my computer regularly

what is it that your brother does to you, if yo tell us then we can give you the proper advice on how to handle it.

not meaning to sound on the offensive or anything but look for a small time job that has alright pay and work your way up, your brother thinks he's superior cause you are relying on him

I'm stressed, and not in a good mood to think
Xanax would only make me more suicidal

don't matter
do reserve now, soldier doesn't mean grunt. They hiring fucking office work/ maintance/ even fucking food service for military too, or just do easy national guard.
after you graduate your officer selection would also be easier later on cause of your past services.

I'm a Math tutor making $100 a month
Even if I get a job min wage can't pay University

I'm 23 years old and still going to community college

I don't wanna burn time

Besides, I'll just be surrounded by guys like that.

I thank you for your reply
it's really calming to read and think about

As someone who has been diagnosed with PTSD I can understand why your brother can be such a hard ass, you're always on edge and irritable as Fuck, you need to catch your brother on a good day and tell him you don't want to engineer for the military.
I'm sure you have a goal in where you want to take your engineering career? Tell him that, tell him your dream job, he might just help you get it.
Don't be an hero just yet bro, hang in there for me

I get it, we know a lot of vets and
I have, dumb fuck thinks stressing me out is a joke and toughening me, but the retard can't realize its why military has high suicide

Xanax is an anti anxiety med dummy.

I've wanted to be a Engineer for NASA since 10
Now I just want to be a message

You have to try harder man, you're never going to get through to him like this.
One day you'll get through to him, you just need to figure out how to do it.

Dude, I'm making sure my brother doesn't commit suicide while using 4hrs of to do Calculus 3 and C++ classes while feeling like shit

Not in a logical mood

Fucker use to fuck with me so much I made a detailed list of his triggers, habbits and why he is the way he is

I taught myself psychology with MLP, played it as a way of telling if he was hacking me at first

OP here
I'm glad to see "The internet hate machine" telling me to not An hero.

Love you guy, all the messages really help

BTW, I've extensively researched PTSD to calm my brother when he got back, it's a lack of community rather than trauma.
Surround yourself with other vets and you'll calm down a bit, but you'll forever look over your shoulder
knowing a vet has your back helps

Just take Xanax

wow user, we share a similar fate
my parents didn't have time for me so my brother was responsible for me most of the time.
he also was a really abusive asshole and i am now suffering from PTSD from it.
my therapist said i could sue my brother if i wanted, maybe consider that.
just get him out of your life completely. the more you see him the more will your brain give you those negative emotions from your past. and that means you will suffer for much longer.
I don't talk with my brother anymore and it's better this way.
just trash that old life of yours and start something new for yourself. If you can find someplace where you fit in and feel natural that would be great.
I hope you feel better soon, i know how hard it is.
and do consider smoking weed, it helped me a lot (for sleeping problems/anxiety), but don't take to much at a time.

I've been in a mental hospital once
>Cops thaught I was crazy
(Hence why my brother hacked me) I'm not going to go trough that agai

Glad to hear a story with a happy ending
As you can see in previous comments I'm just not sleeping from suicide watch while taking hard classes, the anxiety was getting to me

we both agree on that, but he's a social butterfly and I'm irresponsible Slacker

but, I'll try to keep my distance
Thanks, always glad to hear from real experience rather than guesses and "advice"

BTW, I'm super pro weed but never smoke
It's against NASA policy (That's why FORMER Nasa guy make weed stuff, lol)

Call him a Pogue faggot who can't even get expert

wouldn't say happy ending, im still working on feeling better.
The thing is, this world is not kind with people like us.
If you want to feel better, you have to be a better person, so that your enviroment reacts to you better.
problem is that noone will actually help you except a therapist, and even if you have one you will have to live a long time always pretending to be something different.
If you want to live a good life you have to work harder than everybody else to get it, but you won't get anything more for it.
what i think you should do is: sue your brother, if that is a possibility, get a therapist, move away from your old life and try to get into a new enviroment. what enviroment? One that you want to be in. Even if you don't fit into it you have to make yourself fit in as good as you can.
It will be hard. It will be absolutely terrible. And it will hurt you alot, but you have to do it. I have seen so many people give up on life, staying in some shitty edgy group.
Just look inside yourself and ask yourself what kind of person you always wanted to be.
I wanted to be a normal dude, with a nice job and a family and im working towards it. It doesn't feel right, I feel like i don't belong in my own life everyday but i also feel it getting better. every month i feel like I fit in just a bit more, and that is what you need to do aswell.
If you are interested in talking even after thread dies, ill put my skype name as an answer to this and will delete it soon.
stay strong user.

OP
got it

BTW beeing the nice guy sucks
it's very demanding, but someone gotta bring some good into the world
May as well be us

im the one with the crab picture
see

I know
I taught myself psychology, I can tell personality by reading
Also your post are long

i can tell by reading that you are one of the weird ones :D

always loved being a outcast

I'll Skype you in a sec, I got Ubuntu OS