>Be me >At church >Not really a believer or anything >Only go because my family goes >They don't know that I'm nonreligious >In my usual 'dress up' clothes sitting near the front pew >2 hours pass >Fuckingfinally.jpg >Get up and start walking towards the exit when its over >Pastor pulls me aside before I can leave >He looks at me with concern >"user, god sent me a vision last night about you. I know you're a nonbeliever struggling with faith right now." >My jaw drops a bit >"U-umm, well..." >Don't even know what to say to that >Awkward silence >I look back up at him >"It's okay, I'm not here to shame or judge you. If you have questions, just come to me any time and ask. I pray that god leads you back on the right track again." >He pats me on the back and walks away >Still dumbfounded, trying to process what the hell just happened
Wtf should I do? How did he even know that??? I'm so fucking confused...
Leo Clark
He might have noticed your disinterest and did the math. That's way more likely than a divine vision.
Anthony Ward
>Dude with clothes, that probably are unusual in a church sits there super bored
of course he noticed you are an unbeliever and anyone struggles with faith, that's the standard thing fortune-tellers and other people tell you if they try to impress.
Ryan Peterson
That could be, but how the fuck do you just make up an entire thing like that based off of someone zoning out every once in awhile?
My clothes were normal like everyone else's, so I don't think that could be it.
I don't know man, but this shit's really creeping me out.
Zachary Hughes
obviously this proves 100% that god exists and he's sending divine visions to your priest telling him that you, user, aren't devout enough
continuing to turn your back on god at this point will surely lead to eternal damnation
Lincoln Jackson
Your family could've told him you're not a believer and he was taking advantage of that. Seriously, religion isn't real.
Michael Flores
Its a sign.
Christian Morales
>the fuck do you just make up an entire thing like that based off of someone zoning out every once in awhile? Yeah... it's not like it's part of his job to spot potential problems or anything.
Carter Diaz
This. 2 hours of boring agony will show. He just needs to pay a little attention, and has probably seen your agony many times. He simply saw an opportunity to trick you into religion.
Parker Hill
God is real and loves everyone on this board.Youll realize it sooner or later.
Luis Green
BEING THIS FUCKING NEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tyler Fisher
If God loves me, why won't it let me know it exists?
Cooper Collins
It's a sign. God has grown fond of your boypucci and want it for eternity in heaven. Only through rigorous mind training and unwavering faith will you find out how deep the rabbit hole goes!
Christopher Walker
God, I hope you're real so I could spit on fags like this forever! Also pls don't watch me when I fap, okay?
Robert Ward
>not wanting to get cum in God's eye What are you, a cuck?
Evan Ortiz
Does God love fags?
Christopher Sanders
He was testing you, you failed. Now he knows who to kill next.
Adam Adams
God is kinda prude but I heard Jesus is really into that stuff!
Elijah Clark
...
Austin Ward
user last night I too had vision that the pastor would have a vision about little shitty kid and attempt to save his soul.
Kevin Wood
Are you insane? God doesn't hate fags, he loves them! After all SOMEONE has to know how to do a good blowjob in heaven!
Easton Campbell
I had a vision that a faggot would have a vision that the pastor would have a vision about trying to dupe a sucker.
Eli Williams
With a little practice it should be fairly easy to spot the ones that are not into it in a crowd. Like, looking bored or staring elsewhere. And after all it is his job, so it's not very surprising that he's good at it.
He just went a little overboard with the vision thingie, but you have to admit that it DID impress you.
Jeremiah Walker
It's nothing really. Maybe it's just simple observation and mind-trick
Tyler Myers
God doesn't have to be an religious entity. Everything in the universe could be a piece of God. Religion is mostly bad news, but being a good person who doesn't break condmandments is obviously a good thing though
Henry Cox
well, ther's two possibilities here.
Either a magical being with absolutely no physical evidence for its existance sent a psychic message to your pastor, who in the light of divine influence, will aid you....
or you've been bored to fuck by this nonsense for so long that a pastor standing up at the front can read your body language and absolute disinterest in this bunk.
I know which is more likely.
My advice, OP, would be to tell him that you have little interest in the entire issue of faith, your life is virtually secular beyond your desire to avoid hurting your family. Ask him in what ways you can help this church assist others who are homeless, in poverty, or in other difficulty, without any activities involving worship. See what his reaction is.
If there's something you can do instead of taking part in a soul-destroyingly dull sermon every fucking week, perhaps it will serve to keep your family happy. More importantly, it'll show you if his church is self-serving, or actually does some good in the community, regardless of gods or not.
Anthony Gonzalez
>God doesn't have to be an religious entity. Everything in the universe could be a piece of God. Then why call it God? >being a good person who doesn't break condmandments Depends on the commandment.
Adam Carter
go to church user, god is reaching out to you through the shitty dark abyss that is your life before becoming his disciple, there is no greater and more rewarding pursuit than finding jesus
dont listen to the athiests, they hate themselves and want to drag you down
Chase Garcia
Hey, it`s me, God
Asher Green
Hey, it's me, Dog.
Kevin Roberts
*knocks on door* it's me goku
Jaxson Powell
you sound like you have it all figured out but i bet you have never even been to a sermon in your life, or at least not since you were a child and didnt understand any of it i believe god does send messages and i sincerely challenge you to go to a church this sunday and not experience this
Noah Gonzalez
didnt realise b had gotten this bad wow
Jaxon Jones
Have you actually read the bible, faggot? What do I bother you're an obvious troll.
Joshua Morgan
>Poe's law
Jayden Morales
I`m right here
Grayson Jenkins
>" uh father may I have a word? "
>Pastor: " sure how can I help you "
>" my kid gives me trouble about coming to church could you talk with him "
>Pastor: " sure thats my specialty "
>: Thank you father, also he's not too bright so it should be easy "
>Pastor: " those are the best ones "
* both rub hands together and snicker evilly *
Ryder Clark
Hello newfriend
Jose Morgan
Remove the last part and it's probably what happened.
Nathan Nguyen
>That could be, but how the fuck do you just make up an entire thing like that based off of someone zoning out every once in awhile? "Psychics" do it all the time.