Hello Sup Forums. I’ve come to tell a great tale of the time i battled Timmy the Tard

Hello Sup Forums. I’ve come to tell a great tale of the time i battled Timmy the Tard.

>Be around 11 or 12 years old
>Have this retarded cousin
>We’ll call him Timmy the Tard
>Family comes to visit sometimes
>Sitting down playing video games on le PS2
>Timmy the Tard comes in and says “hurrrr heller”
>kek.jpg
>Getting more thirsty than an Ethiopian child
>Get up and leave the room to grab a sodie pop
>I come back from acquiring said beverage
>Walk in on Timmy the Tard completely wiping my memory card
>All of my hard work was gone
>This wasn’t even the last time he did it
>Anyway, i ask Timmy “What the fuck did you do?!”
>”hurrr, i deleted yer memry coard!” as his large teeth and gums emerge from his mouth like a fucking horse
>I was pissed as shit but i thought “Well he’s retarded and doesn’t know any better”
>It happened a couple of more times, but i let slide
>The last time it happened i felt the anger of a thousand Trump protestors
>”You son of a bitch, i know you did it on fucking purpose this time!”

What do you think so far Sup Forums ? You want more?

Moar please kind sir

Moar!

>Punch Timmy in his fat deformed horse head
>Timmy Nigger falls to his side and starts wailing uncontrollably
>Thought it was hilarious, but i was so fucking pissed
>All of the built up internal laughter came out as a kick to Timmy’s stomach
>Timmy keeps screeching
>I see his bug eyes crawl back into his skull and his jaw almost unhinges like a fucking python and lets out another scream
>Tard Asses sister comes in and starts yelling at me
>”What the fuck are you doing, he doesn’t know any better!”
>I already hated this bitch, so i slapped her shit sideways
>She falls to the ground and screams “MOOOOOM!!!”
>Now I had two retards doing the stop drop and roll in my room
>Timmy’s fat ass mother rolls in on her wheel chair
>Everyone called her Hotwheels
>I hear creaking coming from down the hallway and i heard a loud groan and heavy breathing
>She says “God dammit what’s with all the fucking noise!?” as Ho-Ho’s and Twinkies are jiggling in her esophagus
>Jabba the Cunt rolls in, assesses the situation and tries to grab me to spank the living shit out of me
>Thinking quickly, i swiftly grabbed a few of my toys and put them in my doorway so the Pillsbury Dough Bitch couldn’t get out
>She just rolls up to the doorsill, holds up her arms and screams “You little son of a bitch!"
>My mother stops me and tells me not to do it again
>Managed to cause that much shit and not get spanked

Sit tight, niggers. I’ve got more to add to this epic tale

More

...

Do not fucking stop!

>So i hear this loud crash from my room
>Whatthefuck.png
>Run to my room and dodge Hotwheels once again
>Timmy the Horse Headed Retard is throwing my toys around and breaking them
>As if this nigger hadn’t learned his lesson
>Decided to call the big guns in
>”HEY MOM, TIMMY IS BREAKING MY SHIT”
>It was like Godzilla walking down the streets of Tokyo, loud thumping steps
>My mother walks in and slams the door behind her
>She grabs Timmy by the shirt and pulls him up to her nose and screams
>”If you keep breaking user’s shit, i’ll really give you a fucking reason to cry! Now you shut the fuck up and behave yourself before you get spanked!”
>And on that day Timmy’s Testicles grew three times their size
>He spits in my mothers face
>”Fffffff-ffuck-ck FUCK OFF, B-BI-TCH”
>I have never seen my mother so furious
>For a moment i thought i saw her hair turn quickly flash into a gold color for a split second
>Mom punches Timmy in the stomach even harder than i ever could
>Timmy lets out an even bigger cry than before
>His teeth, gums, eyes, and his tongue almost fell out of his fucking head under pressure
>She doesn’t even let him fall and says “You listen to me you little motherfucker. I’ll beat your ass all the way to hell, do you understand me?”
>Tard Ass loses his ability to speak and lets out an inaudible cry
>Mom opens the door and Timmy makes a humiliating escape

more

...

>inb4 walk the dinosaur

He sounds down syndrome, not palsy, so I doubt it.

moar nigger

...

Alas the final part of the tale…

>Timmy made his escape through my bedroom door and ran into the living room where his mom and dad were
>His sister stays in the room and starts crying to herself in the corner and playing with her webbed toes
>No i’m not making that up
>Mom sits down on my bed and tries to calm herself down
>We heard his cry of cowardice from my room
>”HUR AUNT-T PEGGY PUNCHED ME IN THE TUMMY!!”
>And what happened next made me laugh until i pissed myself
>Tardo’s dad Richard was somehow sleeping through all of this shit and immediately woke up from his loud cry of terror
>Uncle Larry gets up from the rocking chair in the living room and screamed as loud as he could
>”Don’t you EVER lie about Peggy hitting you, you little nigger!"
>Sitting in my room laughing my ass off uncontrollably
>This beautiful man takes off his belt and beats Timmy for the next 5 minutes and sends him to sit in the other room for 3 hours
>Every lash to the ass, Timmy yelps out in a way that sounds pleasurable
>Hotwheels is screaming and crying and trying to pull my uncle off of Timmy and almost falls off her collapsible throne
>While Uncle Larry was beating Timmy, he decided to give his sister a nickname so bad, Richard never spoke a word to him again after that day
>Uncle Richard gets up and starts screaming at Larry
>My mother goes into the living room to try to break up the fight
>Only problem was that Uncle Larry was 6’8 and stronger than a cave troll
>”Why don’t you get out of here, Richy Rich and take your traveling freak show with you!”
>”You’ve got the folding collapsible woman, The Cyclops, and Aqua Girl!”
>Richard was never seen or heard from again after that fight

To tell you the truth, i didn't see much of that family after all of this. Timmy the Tard and friends moved out of state.

>Hotwheels

>Jabba the cunt
top kek

Thank you for the good read OP

>Jabba the Cunt
>Pillsbury Dough Bitch
Kek

include me in screen cap

So you beat up a couple tards and got your dad to never talk to his brother again?

well done

Story of the night.
Well done, Op

You got it, bud.

Good stuff op thank you.

Brilliant fucking brilliant
Cheered me up before a shitty day at work

...

>wishing you could do this to your own retard baby

>webbed toes

Cameo in screencap plox

>le PS2
kill yourself

THIS NIGGER GOT DOUBLE DUBS

great stuff OP

>Everyone called her Hotwheels
Kek

Cant wait to be on reddit get me in the screencap

Include me in the screencap and I'll shoot up my school

Sup Forums is actually good today.

>Traveling freak show