A demon from hell offers you a deal:

A demon from hell offers you a deal:

>'9x'7dick and you land your hottest female celeb as wife and have babies with her.
>Catch: After 10 years the hellhounds devour you and take you to hell

Do you take it?

yes

Already did. So far, so good.

No. Sex is for fags

Its Doctor Faustus all over again

A 9'x7' dick? No thank you. I'd like to be able to walk through doors and get in cars and all that normal stuff. If I ever wanted to go across the country, I'd have to be shipped via freight.

Sure, I'll probably kill myself within ten years without the deal anyway.

Sign me up you hellish soul merchant

No

I hate babies

easy yes. i would only ask that the hellhounds come 5-7 years earlier than that. they can choose when and surprise me.

Lol ITT hilariously pathetic teens say "yes"

Here's one

>fellow man offers you opportunity to have anything you want with a little hard work
>women will instantly be drawn to your resourcefulness. You'really guaranteed a beautiful life.like

Catch
>as soon as you start to relax, she takes everything you have because you didn't do a prenup retard.

>tfw already 6'8 with 9x7 cock
>tfw regularly fuck good looking girls

Lol it feels good to know that some people would literally sell their souls to be me

No.

hell no.
even assuming that you mean 9" long by 7" in circumference... My wife and her gf already say I'm too big... besides... I enjoy having a wife that has a gf...

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Can we meet somewhere in the middle where i get a regular solid 7 gf and go to purgatory when i die (of old age)?

Lol! Yeah, right.

Hell no! If you baited me again, and this would have grave consequences for your mental and emotional health, would you read this post? ;( kys faggot

>10 years of pleasure for an eternity of torment

What kind of idiot takes a deal like this? Fuck no

Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo, omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te...cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare...Vade, satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciæ, hostis humanæ salutis...Humiliare sub potenti manu Dei; contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine...quem inferi tremunt...Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine. Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos.

Why would I want to make my dick smaller OP? The fuck?

I've seen supernatural, so I know better.

I don't want some demon to torture me for all eternity.

Done. Weirdly, my main goal in life is to have kids. 10 years is a fair amount of time...gets me to 35, which still beats Jesus at living.

Nah, but i'd offer him 10 years of torturing my soul, and after that he'd have to come with me back on earth and work at an IT call center for the rest of his life and i'd get the paychecks. Also i'd have to live at least til 70

rest of MY life*

ofc not

I wanna become a 100yo virgin

Sex is over rated and I hate kids. Pass.

no

Do I suffer an eternity of neverending, infinite agony to fuck a celebrity for 10 years?
Honestly, you would have to be the most absolute pathetic shit-for-brains to take that deal.