ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start
>be stroking neighbor's cat
>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>kick the little fucker
>run inside
>see neighbor later
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>thinks a car hit it
>lol fatality
>flawless victory
>alpha
>as
>fuck
>at work
>hat on backwards which is against the "rules
>annoying dumb bitch who thinks she's the boss but is the same rank as me tells me to turn me hat around
>Me: No.
>Her: Utter astonishment
>Her: "I hate people like you"
>Me: "You mean people that don't do what you say?"
>She turns around like the stupid bitch she is and prolly goes home and rethinks her place in the world.
>Feel like a total alpha rest of day.
>Be chilling alone one night
>Neighbor comes over crying
>She's pretty hot but clearly distraught
>Says she had to have her cat put down
>Says she knows the other weird neighbor kid hurt the cat but she told him it got hit by a car because she's terrified of him, and that he's greasy, smells, and rarely leaves the basement.
>I console her while we laugh about how pathetic her neckbeard neighbor is.
>Offer to get her a new kitty but instead she says I can just play with "her kitty".
>End up fucking her brains out all night and hit off a regular FWB situation with her.
>She sucks and fucks like a pro
>ALPHA
>AS
>FUCK
>>Offer to get her a new kitty but instead she says I can just play with "her kitty".
>>End up fucking her brains out all night and hit off a regular FWB situation with her.
>>She sucks and fucks like a pro
>>ALPHA
damn bro
i need to kill some cats tonight...
Bump these are funny af
>bumping this fucking thread
>get in here and learn a thing or two you beta faggots
>move to Russia in 2006
>in slums of Moscow
>living off of vodka and shchi
>guy breaks in, has shitty makarov, .45 acp
>tries robbing me of my money and bitches
>adrenaline rush
>ohfuckingshit.PNG
>grabs glass vodka bottle, shatters his skull with it
>drops gun, pick it up and point it at him
>pulls trigger, pointed at gyy
>fires because ohfuckingshit it's actually loaded
>moves back to USA
>literally nobody believes my slavshit story
liam neeson?
>playing WoW
>really need to pee
>run to bathroom
>start peeing
>cropspray errywhere
>run back to computer
>mom goes in bathroom
>shouts at me for peeing on floor, tells me to wipe it up
>I say no I'm busy
>bitch
>she mops up my pee
>I'm a level 72 druid
>I got epic items
>alpha as fuck
>be me
>15yo sister in her room dancing to Miley Cyrus songs
>go in there, tell her to shut the fuck up
>she turns volume up and keeps on dancing
>I punch her really hard in the tit
>she starts crying immediately
>I unplug her speakers
>eject CD and throw it across room
>tell her I hope she gets tit cancer
>back to my room
>play My Chemical Romance really loud
>alpha as fuck
Have you heard of a girl named Kim Wills?
That's my daughter, I'm trying to find her.
>>>>>>>>>this fucking close
>be me.
>living in Humboldt Park, Chicago.
>waiting for bus with ex gf/ roomie.
>junkie I see pretty often asks me for some change.
>he always asks me for change.
>I'm a poorfag, and he probably makes more money than I do.
>me: what do you need my change for?
>junkie: I just need something to eat.
>me: so you have enough money to get your earlobes gauged, but you can't afford a McDonald's cheeseburger?
Silence
>junkie: I'm on methado...
>me: fuck off.
> bus arrives, ex gf and I get on and go home.
>I hate my ex, btw.
>exgf: so um... that made me wet.
>me: well we ain't fuckin'.
>yo sister in her room dancing to Miley Cyrus songs
>>>I unplug her speakers
>>>back to my room
>>>play My Chemical Romance really loud
>>>alpha as fuck
>>My Chemical Romance really loud
>>My Chemical Romance
fucking cuck man
>>GF is crying...fucking what now
>>she says her cat is coughing blood
>>tell her to take it to vet...she does
>>she come home, mr wiskers is dead, had to put it to sleep
>>vet says it was internally bleeding, prob hit by car
>>told her that it was dumb to let it outside
>>she calls her friend, complains on how im and asshole....GF leaves house I dont give a fuck where, just want to play videya
>>few minutes later her friend shows up
>>not here but you can hang out watch me play
>>end up fucking her friend on the couch
>be me
>refrain from being an impulsive shithead
>be not an emotional stupid ass mother fucker
>be not self indulgent
>be in pursuit of knowledge
>be exercising body
>be exercising mind
>be developing skill
>be taking care of myself
>be making decisions that would benefit myself and my future
>be having my actions be consistent with what I believe to be moral and right
>>me: fuck off.
>> bus arrives, ex gf and I get on and go home.
>>I hate my ex, btw.
>>exgf: so um... that made me wet.
>>me: well we ain't fuckin'.
damn bro
>be 12 years old
>be learning to fly a starship
>captain tells me to shut up
>I squeeze out a couple of drops of jizz into his earl grey hot
>watch him drink it
>alpha as fuck
>be me
>coming home from a party late one night and I'm drunk as fuck
>completely run a red light
>sees cop
>pulls me over
>wait for him to step out of the car
>NoWorries.jpg
>pull out a knife from my glove department
>stab myself in the crotch 37 times
>"Officer I've been stabbed"
>he drives me to the nearest hospital
>I leave the next day with 32 stiches
>mfw no DUI that night
>alpha as fuck
Fucking kek
>Date 9/10 middle eastern girl
>weeks go by
>Mudslime shenanigans at an all time high
>"I-i don't know if I should be mudslime"
>Tell her shes not in middle east
>1 fuck and a crusade later, I deus vulted all over her face
>Converted her to christianity though the power of my dick
...
>play vidya all day
>get hawt bitches
>put my hand near them
>alpha as fuck
No alpha story includes My Chemical Romance ever
>be me, November last year
>voted for Trump
>still diamonds
Fag
> Makarov
> .45acp
>19 year old me
>Rally with friends at gas station
>"That guy" fringe friend finds us and wants to know where the party is
>Fuck off dude
>Takes my poorfag buddy's phone since it's on his plan just to be a dick
>Talk to him through passenger window
>He needs it to call his mom and whatever
>Words exchanged
>Walk over to driver's side
>Punch out his window
>Open his door like a gentleman so he can fight me
>He leaves like a bitch instead
>AAF
its like im actually on reddit
>makarov, .45 acp
why was he holding incompatible ammo
>be me
>outside one day chasing some shit
>see human so go investigate
>this fucker tries to run his hands thru my hair
>dodge that gay shit & bite his fucking hand for defiling my mane
>as I'm about to turn back home this fucker sucker punts me into the street
>bleed out and turn into ghost cat
>watch from the rift as my owner gets home and sees my corpse all fk'd up in driveway she cries and runs to fat neighbor for consolation
>he tries to take advantage of her and she kicks him in the balls and calls police
>fatty goes on chansite to fake brag/alpha
>I prowl through his house and pounce his ankle every he tries to bate to furries like a faggot
>he thinks he has achilles heel syndrome haha dumbshit
>ghostcat win
kek
'prolly' is not a word learn to English.
>'prolly' is not a word learn to English.
>learn to english
>to english
;)