New feels bread as last one has disappeared from the front page into the ether.
Idk how to green text or whatever so I'll just post this as is.
My whole life felt like I was on auto-pilot until I was about 18-19 when one of my friends asked me a question that would change my outlook on life forever... He said "why do you always hit everyone? Like you always have to punch everyone whats up with that"
Well not to feel sorry for myself or anything, but I figured out the reason, or so I think I did about 8 years later.
My mom used to hit me all the time, if I didnt do well enough at the sports I was forced to do, and I'm not talking like candy sports, I had to swim for 2-3 teams year round, I never got a single summer to myself I had to get up at 8am to do a sport that I hated with people who hated me.
One time a swim coach tried to beat the shit out of me and it didnt go so well for him, I was fairly strong from swimming so much. The cops came and my mom told the cops to let the coach go and that it was my fault.
My only relationship with my older brother, my hero was basically forcing him to tease me since it was the only way I could get him to interact with me. I would laugh and giggle when he gave me swirleys or shoved me into the trash can. He was paying attention to me and that was all that I wanted.
Basically what I learned was that you hurt the people you love, you hurt them physically to make them mentally stronger.
Most people don't think like this and therefore my hitting everyone didn't have the same effect that it had on me.
Granted I was always the one to fight when my friends started shit. I could hit them but no one else dare touch them, they were my friends.
Well not really, I was watching dane cook and he made a joke about how every group has a friend in it that every one hates but is still friends with for some unknown reason. I think to myself impossible my group doesnt have this guy.
Cont...?
New feels bread as last one has disappeared from the front page into the ether
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highdeas.com
youtube.com
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Fuck it ill continue regardless...
So Dane says that if you think your group doesnt have this guy then its you...
Slowly start to realize that my friends only ever call me when they need someone to fight for them, need someone to buy them food or take them out for fun (not a rich fag I just worked since I was 14, I would ride my bike to a nearby restaurant to scrub dishes) or if they needed females to hang out with, I was alyways good with the ladies because of the swimmers body and the fact that I was self confident because of my physical superiority.
Go through highschool without ever being invited to a party.
Not sure where I'm going with this but I just wanted to air our some of my sadness because my mom, dad, two brothers and girlfriend complain that I talk about the same shit over and over and over.
Well yeah, I guess I do because I never had any closure on any of my issues.
Get really into drugs, unfortunately still use occasionally.
I wish I never started. Pot isn't bad, everything past that is garbage, nicotine and alcohol included.
Currently I constantly work on my girlfriends anxiety and listen to her bitch about inconsequential garbage, its all the same shit just with different people or different situations. I never complain I just try my best to help. Yet my issues are brushed off the table in a "get over it youre not gunna get closure" sort of manner. My little brother is just a total asswipe, I used to do big brother shit to him, ya know noogies, wedgies, punchies etc. I think that he still holds a resentment against me because of this but when he was a child he was a total cry baby and I toughened him up. But I made damn sure that he was never bullied the way I was.
It started in pre-school. The pre-school owners son, probably 10-12 years old would kick my ass whenever he had the chance, I was young... too young to defend myself. I distinctly remember him kicking me down the slide which was a fairly high fall considering how small I was. He also took sunflowers and rubbed them all over me and pushed me into a bee hive, thank god I didnt get stung more then maybe once or twice, but it was a terrifying experience I was under the impression the whole hive was going to go bat shit. Other random beatings ensued. Finally I get to first through fourth school. I must have been in first or second grade and our recess combined with the 7-8th graders who were in the "special needs class" which around here means anger management. One kid would pick on me every day, he told me that my dad pissed in my moms mouth to have me etc. pushed me around and did all this stuff until one day I had enough and waited for him to come down the slide and I kicked him in the face and made his braces come through his cheek. From that day on, I was never bullied again.
Although I was in 10+ fights. I had a repuation for being good at fighting so most people would steer clear unless they wanted to try to take my spot as best fighter in our grade. Many tried, none won. cont in next.
This fight was with my best friend at the time. We were in 7th grade at the time. Me and two others, well call them J and M were making fun of eachother as friends do. Finally J and I found something that bothered M and we really hammered in on it because of how funny his reactions were.
M gets mad and goes home.
M calls J about 3 minutes later and says fight me fgt. Keep in mind M and I are exactly same height weight etc. J was probably 6 inches and 20 or more lbs lighter.
I take phone from J and tell M were going to fight.
M was my best friend at the time, but we scuffled once a year or so just because we spent so much time together.
So we go back to the woods and get ready to fight, a small crowd from the neighborhood slowly shows up.
M and I are going back and forth until he drops the line... "and thats why no one wants to be your friend"
Rage overcomes me and I charge at him and just start pummeling him. Take him to the ground (i was training BJJ curently) and I choke him out real quickly, some how his retard strength keeps him concious through his face turning purple, I was only choking him with one hand and i threw a fake punch and tucked my other hand under him and pretended like he grabbed it, I just couldnt beat him while choking him I felt so bad about all this as it was...
Finally I just stop and get up and pick him up with my right hand, forgetting that he's a lefty...
Boom quick left jab right in the nose, he had the momentum from me picking him up as well, then a right hook across the nose, I hear a pop and my face gets really warm...
Hear the crowd go OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH
I look down and theres blood pouring down my face onto my shirt. Take off shirt wipe blood off my face, try to crack my nose into place and only make it bleed more... Wrap t-shirt around my face and put my hands back up to fight, M literally just looks at me in sheer terror and says "youre fucking crazy im done."
That was the only time i "lost" a fight...
Is anyone here?
How is your day?
Whats going on in your life?
Are you doing okay?
Lets chat Sup Forumsros...
I've never started a feels bread, infact this is only the third thread I've ever started, with one being a big tits bread and the other being with a voice actor who started randomly voicing my insults to another Sup Forumsro. So i started a thread searching for him and about 20 or so minutes later he shows up and hilarity ensues as I trade the best tit pics I have for him to read the insults and other bullshittery I can come up with.
Easily the best day I've had on Sup Forums was with that 2nd thread. Lets change that and have a dank ass feels bread boys, cmon! I know you guys have shit going on in your lives, lets talk about it....
I'm not telling a story but when I was a teenager my dad started fucking men and came out as bi and it really fucked me up, I was the only redpill in the family. This was of course a stress response to his father molesting my sister and my family fell apart and everything fell to shit, my only solace was, and still is pretending that degeneracy will be eradicated
>Is anyone here?
Yes
>How is your day?
Been better, been worse.
>Whats going on in your life?
Been down for the past few weeks, highly stressed too. Wife is fucking insane. Also doesn't understand depression and expects me to "try not being depressed". Also does not think medication or even seeing a doc is a good idea. Had a huge row last night about an unrelated topic and I didn't really sleep. Today I have eaten one (1) egg and even that was forced.
>Are you doing okay?
Not really tbfh.
Welcome!
I'm sorry to hear that, was your dad still with your mom at the time? And wait, your grandpa diddled your sister? Holy shit man I'm sorry to hear that.
You do have solace in the fact that karma is very real. Degeneracy is most likely never going to be eradicated, but as my shitty girlfriend always says... You can't kill shit. And she's correct. But karma will get a few fair shots in before the games over, thats for damn sure.
Things will get better my friend. When I was younger I was very depressed, that might be a bit strong, lets just say I was very sad. I don't think I have a chemical imbalance thankfully, you should try and get some testing done and see if its chemicals or your outlook on life. If you need the medicine definitely take it, but if you are chemically sound you should try finding a hobby or some passion.
Do you have an activity that youre passionate about? something that gets you out of bed because of a desire to have fun and not because you feel obligated to not be a "depressed sack of shit laying in bed all day"
>karma
>thats for damn sure
No it isn't. There is no karma, no natural justice, no balance, and everything is meaningless. Sorry.
Yeah, it was a 'polyamorous' relationship
This isn't a personal attack on anyone who has depression, but I feel that many people confuse being depressed with having depression. Being depressed is just being sad because life is shitty and having depression is being sad because your brain isn't giving you another option. Having depression is shitty but being depressed is just as shitty if not shittier. Being depressed is like an active and conscious decision to be sad, just because things in life are not going well you choose to turn against yourself and be sad. Unfortunately that is the worst decision you could possibly make because you are the only person int he world that you can guarantee will be on your side and you are choosing to turn against yourself that's just fucked =/ it's like a self fulfilling prophecy. Life feels shitty so you get sad then youre sad because the shittyness of life got to you and it just feeds off itself.
You genuinely feel that life has no purpose? I recommend you read this then. It really changed my outlook on life... highdeas.com
...
I've been on meds before, and I know 100% I need them now. But it's so hard when you live in another country and get no support from your family and in-laws there, and they have such an outdated view on mental health. I do have some hobbies but they only cause me stress these days (I play a song wrong, I have to finish my workout so we can move on to the next task, whatever). Although I do get out of bed anyway because I have to work six days a week to feed my family.
quality repost. ty for the content user
I'll try to bump this thread a bit. What you sad fucks up to? Im still drinking
Thanks, user. I have read that before. It's just a work of fiction.
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six days a week, holy shit. I used to work 6 days a week 10 hours a day at a sandwich shop. I love sandwiches they used to be a passion of mine, i would spend 20-30 minutes crafting a perfect sammy I loved them. That job killed my love of sandwiches. It drained my soul. Is there any way you could work 5 days a week and still get by? When i dropped down and had 2 days in a row off i felt so much better about life. 6 days a week i was so angry, you cant recharge in one day...
Couldn't you get the meds and help without going through your faimly? or without them knowing. then in 6 months they'll be like wow user you seem so happy what changed. Then you can be like well i got help for my fucking issues no thanks to you glad to see you like the results though asswipe.
oh jesus. thats a lot to swallow. no pun intended.
how did that effect your outlook on love/marrage/life?
youre welcome man
I'm working up the courage to either go to yoga or the gym. its my day off thank fuck.
Glad i could get some people in here its nice to have randos to talk to about your problems.
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dubs checked.
You don't think theres even a tiny possibility of it being real?
For us to have free will every possibility has to be possible even if it seems highly unlikely because if it isn't this is just a simulation or something like that with a few choices and no free will whatsoever...
It solidified my desire to preserve the German volk, which sounds cringed as shit but it forced me to accept that the world doesn't get better without being part of a society and a people
>6 days a week i was so angry, you cant recharge in one day
Sounds like me.
No, I can't move to five days. I live in a shitty corrupt Europoor country. I'm only getting paid for four days a week too but that's how it goes here. Also the language barrier is a problem and I need their help in finding a doctor and completing the mountains of paperwork that come with seeing a doctor.
Oh well. Head down, keep punching.
fucking love louie CK, just wait man life will have something nice for you eventually. and if it seems like its taking too long maybe you should go out and work a bit harder instead of relying on being lucky. if you work hard enough you can get just about anythnig you want.
glad i found this thread. It's my only day off thus week, I work like a dog 6 days a week for low pay. Do your yoga dude I hear that is really good for you.
damn dude that hits the feels... feeling alone describes most of my life. I feel like peopole dont get me. People say i'm a lot to handle... theres nothing to handle just be my fucking friend i dont judge your crazy so who are you to judge mine....
>You don't think theres even a tiny possibility of it being real?
Sure, but it's as likely as me being the only human and everyone else turns out to be cats operating humanoid robots.
jesus man stay out of my feels =/'
its sad because i look forward to the alone time (1a-5a)
it slike the only time i can be me. my girlfriend is asleep and i can get on Sup Forums, plkay over watch and just be....
Im surrounded by so many friends and I still feel alone. I think I work too much, 6 days a week is starting to kill me.
what's the german volk? sorry im an uncultured american fuck....
But youre right we need to come together as a people and all these groups like blacklives matter and feminazis are pushing us apart while pretending to want ot pull us together. All lives matter all genders matter all sexes matter that should be obvious. its nott hat hard to coexist.
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google translate?
you can do it brother. but what the fuck do you mean you work 6 days and get paid for 4 thats fucking horse shit. fuck that. how is that legal?
It isn't. Like I said, shitty corrupt Europoor country.
Hey there's two of us. Hello.
I definitely will, but i wanna spend a little time with my Sup Forumsros. last night was horrible. so bad that i had to jump out of my bedroom window at 3 am to get away from screaming parents and girlfriend... =/
Halfway between the German ethnicity and culture
And no, not coexist.
We must me seperate so that all cultures and peoples can maintain themselves
but what if conciousness is shared? it could be that we all come from the same beings. consider how were all made from the same shit, the same energy, the same particles, the same matter and shit. we share alot physically whts to say we dont share the same mentally?
Be
Sorry, I'm a Sup Forumsack crossboarder
yeah man you need atleast two days off in a row or youre going to go crazy. have you talked to your friends about how you feel? or are they the type that you just spend time with and dont really get "deep" with...?
WHY
D
god damn dude... that sucks im so sorry to hear that. do you have any skills or any passions that you could possibly turn into a career? ever consider doing something on the side like youtube or twitch to make a few bucks extra in your free time?
I semi agree... the Japanese, Koreans, Germans, Russians all have culture because they're more "pure" as in they have a mostly similar populus where as america has no "culture" because were just a mixing pot of shit. We were the experiment that shows that you need a strong culture behind you you cant just start a nation and bring in anyone and everyone woh wants to come. and lets be honest if youre doing well at your home why would you wanna move to america? all the shitty people come here for a new start and they're still the same shitty people who left. so in coming to america they make their old country better but make ours worse. if thgat makes sense.
All these things are possible, but the chance is minute. The void is much more logical.
I do but I prefer to keep my hobbies for fun and I don't want the extra pressure. Works ends when I leave the office (at least in theory) and I go think about other things. I spend whatever free time I have with my kids too
Sup Forumsros always help. Take it you're a younger guy? In a weird way screaming parents are a good thing. My parents were divorced from some of my first memories, and then my dad passed away when i was 15. I'd give anything to here them argue again. Just giving you some perspective, if that helps.
was fun. keep a good head on your shoulders and love those kids of yours. you'll get through this. cheers user.
i'm 26. but i'm stuck at home because its what my probation requires of me. I'm basically the biggest fuck up in my family. possibly in my town. I'm trying my hardest to fix it though, but sometimes i have bad days. and the people around me dont try to understand they just judge.
im not surprised you think i'm younger though. I'm in recovery so I have the mentality of when i started using. So i've been clean for a few years but i started when i was 16. Ive also had some fuck ups so my mentality is probably that of a 17-18 uear old
>screaming parents and girlfriend
Remove girlfriend. ASAP.
I can get really deep with my friends, they know how I've been feeling. But my closest friends are now married and have kids. They just don't have the time like they used to, and I cant blame them either. Not that they aren't there for me, but raising your family is priority
everyone says that. she loves me unconditionally but i dont think she understands me at all.... shes my polar opposite.
I totally agree, so what's on your mind user? maybe i can help before i depart for the gym?
Fuck Im 26 too, biggest fuck up in my family as well. my siblings and cousins are all going great places and it feels like im still just trying to get my feet on the ground.
And thats how it feels, everyone around you judging you, instead of trying to understand why were fucked up
amen brother.
So what plagues you?
My issue is that with no drugs in my life I'm an angry piece of shit because of how I was raised, and my mother wont admit any wrong doings and I didnt get closure with a gf of 5 yrs who cheated and a gf of 2 years who cheated along with having no close male friends and my gf forces me to push away any close female friends. idfk man. i suppose my issue is drugs. ill do great for a few months then just have one really bad day and get rekt then go back to it feeling just a little emptier then before. but getting high is betetr then raging out and hurting someone, myself included.ddd
Just stuck man, I have a decent job, but not great. I went to school to be an electrician, and I was fucking great at it. But at the time I graduated, i was going through a breakup with some chick who fucked me up mentally, she made me feel like shit about who I was, and I lost all my confidence. And because of that I never really put my resume in anywhere, didnt feel like I was good enough.
your name isnt josh is it...? cause if it is were friends irl lol.
But keep pushing man, if you give up "they win"
the best job i ever had was being an electricians apprentace. I was making 75/hr in some jobs that were "prevailing wage" i worked private and thats the hourly on jobs that the union bids on to keep contracts fair. You should start your own company and take on one man jobs until you can get it going. I went to highschool with akid who started a landscaping empire by buying a shitty truck, and a few lawn mowers then he took in 3 mexicans and paid them in food and housing until he could afford to pay them cash. now he has like 6 trucks, a few trailers all professional equipment, a house for his employees to live in and probably 15+ employees and he kills it year round. he grinds like hes broke every day and puts everything into the ocmpany hes growing so quickly you could be doing the same so easily. you just gotta get up and do it.
the second im done probation im going to get my grind on, until then its so hard to get a job as a felon im just gunna stick with the sandwich shop job unfortunately.
This post here All that on top of being an alcoholic, and trying to get my drinking under control. I feel the same way as you though, getting drunk keeps me from hurting myself and the people around me. try to keep myself numb. I'll have a good month or 2 and one day will just fuck me up and I just sink back into the shit feeling
Pic very related
yeah man. we both just gotta get over feeling like the substances would save us. last night i got high and thats why the wohle thing blew up but i did it after work with my own money and i was home and safe not a dnager to anyone but myself so like wtf im a grown consenting adult whos place is it to tell me what i can and cant do...
the only thing is today i feel worse because i spent a bunch of money and now im back where i was before. i need to get over this hump without getting high. thats the real solution.
Youll get there man. I work with several felons now and the majority try to better themselves, and they end up moving on to a better job with a normal life. Probation fucks you,i just got off probation 3 months ago, but im getting there.
You'll get there man, go back to a trade job and almost all of them guys dont give a fuck about your past, cause the majority has fucked up themsleves. It's all about how youve grown, good people wont hold your past against you.
thats a good point. I want to make watches unfortunately the best and closest school is two states away and i can't go there yet.
do you have any suggestions for something i could get into with minimal training because this 10/hr sandwich job sucks assholes.
We'll get there man, but fuck it hard without getting high on something.
I got faith in you user, one day we'll be able to drink and smoke again just for fun cause we got our shit figured out.
most def, but i dont want to think of it like that. id rather figure my life out and let the substances fall into it as opposed to figuring out my life so that i can do substances "responsibly"
i feel like breads gunna die gunna post tits to keep it aliove.
any trade union will do you good. If you can interview well theyll take you in. you'll get an apprenticeship which is schooling and on the job training, and you'll get paid as well. Most starting out atleast at 13 an hour. Plus those guys in trades dont give a fuck about how shitty you might have been in the past, its all about how you are now. you'll get your shit heads of course but the majority in trade unions are looking out for your best interest
For you I'd look into a commercial or industrial electrian apprentice, it really keeps your mind working, and if you want to make watches that would be a good path. Also look into finding a machinist apprentice, you'll learn a fuck ton about making small parts like those that would go into a watch. That might be the best thing for you to look into
fair enough, I think thats the better way to look at it.
no post feels you fucker
machinist apprentace thats a great idea im guna look into that tysm...
sorry i dont have feels pics on deck lemme google some
nah youre good post tits then
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ok here we go
this one kills me every tiem....
do it i think that would be perfect for you
=/
that fucking post holy shit man. i love dogs... i rescued a dog from a coke dealer he was using him as a bait dog. my mom made me give him away cause "you cant just show up home with a dog" meanwhile we have 2 dogs she just showed up with and our past 2 dogs she jsut showed up with fucking cunt.
id kill for someone to save me from the gutter im in...
Ahhhhh.... So thats where this idea came from.
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these two always get me god damn
yeah its a good one. some of these feels contents are gems.