I'm a registered forestry technician

I'm a registered forestry technician

AMA

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Why are coconuts so hard to break?

I read it as foreskin technician.

Do you do that too?

Any tips for removing splinters from my pee pee?

Because the coconut tree values hard work.
I have no foreskin so I wouldn't know.
Stop raping trees. You need to have consent.

lol'd

>Because the coconut tree values hard work.
Wrong, coconuts belong to palm trees, not regular trees.
Confirmed for fake foreskin technician.

>Stop raping trees. You need to have consent.
It seemed willing

I'm only aware of Canadian tree species
Verbal consent or it's rape.

My girl won't trim her bush, how do I into that? The neighbors keep making comments

how do I become a forestry technician?

Beat the shit out of her
1 or 2 year diploma program

HOW DID YOU BALANCE THAT TREE LIKE THAT OMG?!?!!?!?

The forest is a magical place.

>Verbal consent or it's rape
Idk, you are no lawyer

I speak for the forest, you serial rapist.

A foreskin technician without foreskin? That's like studying gender politics without a gender. SHIIEEEEEE

is it a graduate degree kind of program or like a job training kind of program like what nurses do?

The Austrian Economic Model predicts the lush rain forests of Antarctica are too advanced for us to recognize them at all.
Are they really that advanced? Have we managed to detect them yet, or do we still need to advance our understanding of economics before we can?

Dirty hippy. Cut your hair!

I identify as a cumulonimbus cloud

my pronouns are "that" "cloud" and "rain machine"
It's just a technical program
There are no trees in Antarctica
I'm going in for it tomorrow or the next day.

>There are no trees in Antarctica
Wrong. The whole continent is covered in lush rain forests. It's just that they're too advanced for us to detect them.

I have 20 acres in upstate New York state. should I let fallen trees rot, or get them out?

Depends on your values. Are you trying to have a high yield or is it just recreational?

Nursing, like R.N. is a graduate program, with technical training part of it, dumbass. Not like a fucking auto mechanic, which makes money but doesn't require a degree.

You can't be a forest tech without a diploma

Not really doing anything with it. What's best for the health of the forest?

Is that like the sex offender registry?

Just leave it. Dead standing trees are dangerous but they're great for many kinds of wildlife.

You might want to do a forest management plan and that will help you decide what kinds of trees and other plants you want which will affect how you care for the forest. (eg. if you want pine trees, clear the ground, if you want maple you want x type of soil)

Only costs a few hundred to get one of me out there and you could make a really beautiful forest.

Can you identify if something is wood or not?

Wow I bet that was some hard schooling....

I've spent many hours studying and classifying different kinds of wood. I can name over 50 species.
It was easier than highschool.

name 50 kinds wich is the better wood you have touched and smelled ?

Yes you can. It's a bullshit degree, it makes it easier to get a job but it really doesn't matter. O look you know the different quercus good thing you spent two years studying Canadian tree species

A true woodsman uses all 5 senses, user.

I'm not going to name every tree species I know of, but for smell its basswood,. and for looks its white or red oak or hard maple
It carries the same weight of being a professional engineer. You get put in a registry and get a silver ring for your pinky.

>I've spent many hours studying and classifying different kinds of wood
What kind of wood is this?

gaywood. i think you'll like the smell

>he can hear the wood

What level is he even on?

There's a lot going on here

Yes I know it was, I had to take a class of you faggots to a nature preserve site to show the regrowth of silver maples for some reason and besides someone picking an endangered cypripedium and someone called firs pines it felt like taking elementary school kids on a field trip.

>registered forestry technician

oh good lord
pulling a cord until it goes zoom zoom
throwing slash in a chipper
wear an orange vest so everyone can see how technical you are

>same weight as a professional engineer
BTW engineers wear a steel or wrought iron ring not a silver ring

I don't cut trees you stupid.
Silver > Iron

The ring of an engineer is not silver. I'm not an engineer I'm in plant physiology but comparing yourself to an engineer is degrading to people who had to actually do something for their degree rather then twiddle their thumbs for two years. No one respects you as one

>The ring of an engineer is not silver.
Obviously I know this. Are you fucking dumb?

You said you were given a silver pinky ring

what is it like to study so hard, yet be doomed to a life of poverty? But I guess trees are cool, nonetheless

And?

I didn't study hard and I make enough money.

How's it feel to know you wasted two years of your life to get a job that you could have just had for the past two years instead?

>engineer
.....

what kind of tree is this?

Do you trust tree ring data? What vpn do they use to protect their database? Can we use that technology? Do they prefer digital or analog clocks? Inb4 sundials, fuck you, it's not a stick in the ground

OP here. I've always enjoyed experiencing trees for what they really are.

what is the strongest wood known to man ?

I studied 1 year (and had fun doing so) and I'm in a REGISTRY.

REGISTERED forestry technician. I even have a silver ring to prove it.
Hard to say. Looks like compound leaves so I'll go with black ash
Yes to all of that.
Strongest wood I'm aware of is Ironwood.

how hard would it be to build a house inside a hollowed-out redwood tree?

What kind of tree is this?

This video might help not OP
youtube.com/watch?v=aDhtQTQYwII

what the fuck is up with this tree?

>what the fuck is up with this tree?

This one is growing curved, either naturally or otherwise.

Post ring

You think that's an ash? Holy shit I figured they'd teach you at least SOMETHING in those programs, you should be able to tell by the bark of that one. I'm in the same registry. Hornbeam isn't nearly the strongest as well, like by far

...

very. Really old redwoods are just mush inside and can topple in a heavy wind.
Looks tropical. I wouldn't know.
Careful engineering?
Actually I lost it in an airport in Minnesota and havent bothered to get a new one (they're like $80)
Then what is it?

why would a tree grow like that naturally?

So what's the mean in reality? Groundskeeper, ranger, park security?

Usually when people use the term "technician" it means something really shitty like maintenance technician (janitor) or sanitary technician (garbage man), so what's it really mean?

>Looks tropical. I wouldn't know.

Lyonothamnus floribundus - ironwood dipshit.


Where the fuck did you get your degree?

take a horticulture/botany class op, fuck trees.

>Actually I lost it in an airport in Minnesota and havent bothered to get a new one (they're like $80
So how do you prove you are a forest tech? Secret handshakes?

Schinopsis spp.

I do mostly tree marking and timbercruising. I've also done some border making and road layouts, as well as helping natives identify and protect culturally important trees.
Meh
That's one fucked up ironwood. I've never seen one that big.
Name in a book and a diploma certificate.

fucked my 55yo mom in a hotel imcest.com

Actually to be a ranger is pretty intensive and it's super competitive, most have a doctorate

That's just not true. Maybe in America...

It would help natives identify and protect trees if you knew how to identify them first.... a forestry TECHNICIAN registry doesn't mean shit

Average number of ticks you find on yourself per week?

There's a difference between a ranger and a guy who gets to drive a jeep in a uniform

if a tree falls in the forest and nobody's there to hear it, do you still have to write a report?

I have family who works for the national park service (10years). You don't need a PhD but it's super competitive and he only gets seasonal work because all the full timers hold their jobs until they die.

They go out with me and we look for things and I put a buffer around them. What the fuck are you talking about?
None so far...
I don't know what you think a ranger is, but it sounds like you're thinking of a CO.
Just a GPS marker will do.
One nice thing about being in forestry right now is that like 70% of the work force is retiring in the next 10 years.

do you program trees?

How's it feel to know I can literally walk behind you and tell you no, no, no, as you spray paint x's on trees and if you have one cut down I can technically arrest you, or just have you charged ?

And you are??

I'm the one who writes people up, motherfucker.

how does it feel to know you're the kind of faggot who would make a federal case out of a tree?

I wouldn't out of a tree, some plants I'd charge people for poaching for though but that's standard if I was in the field.

yeah but why would you follow around a forestry technician? do they have a habit of poaching plants?

A chemist overall technically, but botanist and plant pathologist. I work with conservation though as well, my job though is developing pesticides targeting deterrence of mammals. But I'm a federal officer technically, even got a badge and a gun son.

So you're a CO?

There are like literally 10 COs in Ontario

Actually yes, but no I wouldn't follow him around I'm just saying I could have him arrested for marking a tree for harvest

dead

Nope

I've never heard of you and I doubt you can ticket me for using better judgement on a contract for marking a harvest.

do you ever find magic mushrooms in the woods?

I'm an officer in the United states and yes I still can, I'd be obligated under CITES and I've worked in Canada before

Yes. One time I filled 2 garbage bags.
So you're an officer who is interested in conservation but you're not a conservation officer?

Better judgement, hell you don't even know what an ash looks like, or ironwood

Not by title

u're bean trying to trick me :(
Then what the fuck is your title?