Have you ever said something out loud without thinking Sup Forums?

Have you ever said something out loud without thinking Sup Forums?

>Be a waitress in a restaurant with 3 other girls
>wasn't feeling the greatest this particular day

Now I am almost always in a good mood and an incredibly happy person and I joke around a lot with my coworkers so this was odd for me.

>Coworkers notice the change and I tell them it'll be over in a couple of hours probably
>Woman with her husband walks in
>Obnoxious type kinda annoying but meh smile and seat them/get there drinks
>Walking around in a daze with a jug of water filling up empty glasses for customers
>Woman stops me with this look of smug superiority

Before I go on, the restaurant is a Chinese buffet. And there are a lot of people there on a regular basis for such a small restaurant with one simple better table.

>"Excuse me there's a hair in my food."
>Still in a daze get confused
>This could be anyone's hair
>I laugh nervously and ask her, "what would you like me to do about it?"
>Her face went cold with insult
>whatthefuckdidIjustdo.jpg
>Spaghetti falls out of my hands
>Literally
>I had a plate of noodles some of which slipped off the plate and onto the floor as I tried to run away
>Woman trying to tell at me
>Try to pick up the noodles bare handed and fail
>Tell my coworker to help me out
>She does
>Tell her what happened after she comes back
>Uncontrollable laughter as I stumble out my story of spaghetti
>"You should think of a way to apologize." She laughs
>After a bit of thinking and avoiding the death stares I was getting from the woman
>I've got it!
> As she's about to leave I walk up to her
>Tap her on the shoulder
>Put on my best smile
>"I'm sorry about earlier! Don't be afraid to come back now ya "HAIR"!"
>Point fingers and wink with a click of my tounge
>look of ultimate disgust crosses her face.
>She hurries out the door with her husband
>Still have my fingers pointed at nothing

My coworkers kept laughing and finger winking at me the rest of the shift.

Work stories thread.

...

one time before i graduated high school there was this kid in my class but heres a rundown on him
>junior
>on football team
>mom died of cancer 3 months before i said this
anyway, one day he walks into class, i overhear him saying
>"kate told me the sky looks like my mom today, so i guess it is pretty nice"
Then I, as the autist i am, i say without realising
>"Thats weird, the sky isnt 6 feet under"
I then got the shit kicked out of me and got a 2 day suspension

>be chen
>honked audibly
>honked a little toooo loud

it was a shameful day

I've also had a lot of smelly people come in.

>Be just starting at the job
>Ham planet waddles in with her greasy looking husband.
>How does he fuck that?
>Where's the v all I see is a u in her pants.
>Oh gawd what is that smell
>Lawdy it's like a rotten fish stuffed up someone rotting carcass
>My coworkers did this on purpose

Shes a regular and I serve her often now but at the time I did not know.
The pain.

>I visibly gag
>I asked my coworkers the hell that thing was
>They call her the slime
>Slime waddles around buffet table. And waddles back to her seat
>MFW I have to collect her dishes Everytime she finishes a plate

A well deserved beating

Im genuinely dying of laughter, Thankyou OP.

That's pretty spectacular, actually.

this isn't normal autism
this is advanced autism

The slime likes to visit often

>Slime waddles in with her sweaty husband thing who is holding a baby in a carrier
>Omigod it's going to eat her
>immediately as she walks in I smell it
>Vomit in my mouth a bit.
>She stumbles
>Feel the ground quake
>Glasses clattering
>Ask if she's fine
>She grabs my arm
>Pls no
>Looks up to me
>Oh gawd she looks like the thing
>Opens her mouth to speak
>Laughs, exhaling air directly into face, "floors are slippery aren't they?"
>Her breath
>Smells like the inside of Shrek's asshole

You know in those old cartoons when they got so scared all there hair fell of? Do you remember the expression they had? I felt that in that moment.

Work Stories huh Mabey i'll tell you my subway story some OC for you fags
>Be me 17 year old beta fag (at time) was 5 years ago
>was working on friday night 2pm to 10pm
fuckme.jpeg
>coworker is (we will call him S) pretty cool and 23 yrold stonner
>just me and him for the night
>at 3pm he says hes going out to car to move it in front of store
Not all that unussual the subway is in a particullarly bad part of town the frys store next to us has been robed 3 times and we had been robed twice.
>comes back in after moving car and sprints to the walk in cooler
dontgiveashit.jpeg
>he comes back out 20 minutes later really tired and really wierd
>he goes and sit in the far corner of the lobby
>start to get busy as is 5pm at this point
>he is fucking sleeping on the table in corner of lobby by this point
>costomers really angry by this point we're talking 20 minute waits because its just me
Continue?? Sorry if Green Text is Fucked

I'm here for you

thanks writing it out in word ill be done in a bit

>told my sister about child porn
what do

Subway Fag Here
>S is still asleep on table until about 6pm when a older coustomer walks in
>probably 70 yrold dude picks S up and throws him against wall and yells
"What the FUCK do they pay you for"
>S still half asleep shouts back
"Fuck all the penguins, I will eat my shit if i want"
>All 20 coustomers are completley quiet, half staring at S and half at me
IdRatherBeAJewInGermany1940.jpeg
>S then Runs (while falling 2-3 times) to the bathroom
>All alone with 20 to 30 pissed as fuck coustomers
>literal fucking hell for the next hour
>gets tipped like 20 bucks out of pitty
>the owner of the subway franchise walks in door
fuckMeItsOver.jpeg
>he looks Super Pissed as he lives an hour away, he says
"Where is your cooworker?"

Bump

Damn all the good threads die so easy

Bump

Called a girl that was in the year above me in school a paki

Subway Fag
I didn't snitch by the way my maneger was watching cameras and called owner
>It like 8pm at this point i have nothing done for closing
>still busy 10 to 15 pissed people in line
>boss decides to help me out before interogation
>he has the most thick "of the boat" indoneasion accent
>coustomers getting more and more pissed
>he cant make a sandwich to save his life
>i have boss ring up people as i make sanwiches
>all coustomers gone its about 9:20
>boss goes and locks front door
WTFweNotClosedYet.jpeg
>he then truns to me and says
"i drive all way out here were cooworker"
>i tell him he is in the bathroom
>boss opens the bathroom door with key and slams it open
Thud.jpeg SmellofDeadPearson.jpeg
>boss slams door right into S's head
DeathCry.jpeg

>waitress
>chinese buffet
shit son I got yellow fever pls post your face

Bump

Holy shit m8

stoner bro is gonna die

So I'm on my phone at work now so it be hard to greentext it but here's my go.
So I work at a gas station and one night as I'm counting down my register these two black wannabe icp loving type faggy white people come in and I tell them they can't buy anything so they proceed to chimp right the fuck out making a big scene and I nearly have to call the cops on them but anyway I tell them to fuck off and they threaten me like they were all ohh I'm gonna find you mother fucker yadda yadda but they eventually fuck off.
BUT HERE IS THE KICKER
These fucks called the cops on ME so they show up as I'm walking out the door to go home and I tell them like 5 seconds of my story they look at my shirt and say well fuck it have a good one.
Still can't understand how you get kicked out of a place then call the cops on that place for kicking you out.

How was them sandwiches tho

This one time, a dumb bitch got on Sup Forums and just started talking. And the thread was immediately flooded with every pathetic faggot who ever forsaked the rules. Tits or gtfo.

Listen newbie that rule only ever applied to attention whores so go Banana a ylyl or something

...

More subway user stories

Subway fag type faster pls

Subway Fag last part
>S who has shit himself and puked all over bathroom gets up slowly
>looks at boss and says
"Sorry my stomach is not fealing so well i think i passed out"
>S is literally holding lit joint as he sputters through explanation
NotBuyingIT.jpeg
>Boss in really sweet motherly tone of voice says
"okeydokey you go home an sleep"
WTF.jpeg
>S stumbles out and goes home
>boss imediatley calls cops on S
>cops do nothing wierdly just tresspass him so if he ever comes back he can be arrested
SadFace.jpeg
other than his cuz T and my sister S was only decent coworker
we used so scream to tool and ratm in back of store togather
>boss then walks out and says
"good job you now shift lead good night"
>Im there untill like 1 am cleaning
>at least i got tips
Nope.jpeg
>someone stole tip jar
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.jpeg

oh and when cleaning walk in I found 3 4locos 2 of which were empty

the sandwiches tasted alight but I could make one dope ass sandwich.
>foot long herb and cheese
>oil parm oregano pepper and chesse both sides
>toast half time
>Italian BMT no ham add bacon
>6 inch portion of pastrami
>MOAR cheese
>toast again
>all shakes again
>barbeque sauce or chipotle
FuckMEinTheMouth.jpeg

I'm glad I got the end before this thread died

sorry I suck at typing

Anyone want moar subway stories??

You good fam

yeah im down

>be me, 19
>working at hardware store
>big store, not a lot of experience necessary, but pick it up as time goes on
>man walks in, well dressed
>"I need a 4-way screw."
>scratch head, have no idea what he's talking about.
>"I said I NEED A 4-WAY SCREW!"
>call older manager. Sometimes there is shorthand or older names for things.
>manager: "a 3-way light switch?"
>"I NEED A 4-WAY SCREW!"
>we have no idea what he's talking about.
>This goes on for 10 minutes as we call everyone in the store to help.
>finally, he crosses his hands into a 'plus' sign.
>A 4-WAY SCREW!
>Bitch needed a phillips head screwdriver.
Goddamn first jobs.

Top Kek

He should of raped you

Screencap this shiiiiiit

Subway Fag Agian
Subway Stories part 2 this one is a bit short
>Be me 17 just started first job at a subway where sister works
>a couple of cool people including S a 23 yrold stoner and his cuz T also stoner
>also assistant maneger H is a pretty cool 40 yrold chick who has been to jail several times
>end of first day working with S
>relaxed fealing alright about job
>6'2" black thing comes in
iThinkItsAwoman.jpeg hasBuldge.jpeg
>S tells me thats our boss we will call her Shaniqua
>S tells me she a supper bitch
>I contine to do my job cleaning the lobby
>3 Costomers walk in
>S seams to have it coverd so i continue cleaning
AWWWHELLNAHHHHH.mp3
>As soon as coustomers leave shaniqua pounces on me
FealLikeMouseInSnakePin.feal
"ANNON YOU HAVE TO HELP COUSTOMERS WHEN THEY COME IN!!!!!!!!!!"
>I responded
"But Shaniqua S had them covered"
>She gave me deathglare
"If ther are two coustomers or more then you help"
>continue cleaning
>A father and two todlers 2 to 3 years of age come in
>I being Autistic Fuck ask Shaniqua
"Does that count as 2 or like 1.7 coustomers?"
DeathGlare.jpeg
>Her nostrols start to flare rapidly
>she take one gulp and i see a huge adams apple move down
>all "her" mucles are tense
IdRatherBeAJewInGermany1940.jpeg
>S laughing his ass off while making sandwich
>Broniqua destroyer of wolrds calms down a bit
>Decides to constantly try and get me fired from then on
Thats was my first day and almost my last at subway.

that was dumb, unprofessional, and embarassing

Yup, sounds like what i'd expect from a waitress.

t. line cook

LOOOOOOOOOL

>working at a gas station
>lady comes up with a singular large soda
>smile at her like I'm supposed to
>stare at her and blurt "Large!"
>mfw