ABU Bunker thread

Lads, what's going on? Are we gonna lose the Adidas deal if we fuck up this season? What did we spend half a billion on? Is Mou finished? Are those onions in my cupboard still good, because they feel kinda squishy?

ABUs not welcome

hahah faggot
couldnt even beat wet spam at home
what a shit team hahahahahahah
LITERALLY the new liverpool
except liverpool are good now
unlike you
who are shit
hahah

>Lads, what's going on?
reality check
>Are we gonna lose the Adidas deal if we fuck up this season?
yes
>What did we spend half a billion on? Is Mou finished?
absolute shit
>Are those onions in my cupboard still good, because they feel kinda squishy?
they are fine la

>Lads, what's going on? Are we gonna lose the Adidas deal if we fuck up this season?

No, "only" 30% of it.

Stop signing loads and loads and loads of players in a single summer year after year and expecting them to gel by the time the season starts, while also changing managers and therefore changing playing styles.

How is Pogba supposed to fit into the team when Daley Blind hasn't even gelled in yet because the team keeps changing.

The board needs to ban transfers for the next 2 seasons. No ins, no outs. Let the current team stay exactly the same.

At the very least, one first team signing per season.

Don't sack the manager either. Stop constantly changing things and expecting things to just click because they won't.

Ed Woodward and his "we can buy a new Pogba every summer" is gonna run the club into the ground and it seems that I'm the only person who's realising this.

Notice how the best performances they've had were towards the end of Van Gaal's reign last season when he started putting more youngsters in. That's not because the youngsters were more talented than the big names, it's because they had been used to playing together for years.

Everyone else ITT is just gonna say "WE NEED TO SIGN LE NEW DEFENDERS AND LE NEW MIDFIELDERS AND LE NEW STRIKERS" or "WE NEED TO SCRAP THE ENTIRE TEAM AND SIGN A WHOLE NEW TEAM".

...

>What did we spend half a billion on

How have you idiots not understood that THIS RIGHT HERE is the fucking problem. The spending is the problem. Stop signing players. Let your current team actually gel, because they haven't gelled since Van Gaal because of constant change.

People still don't know where Daley Blind fits into the team. Or Herrera. Or Mata. And they came in like 2 years ago.

>The board needs to ban transfers for the next 2 seasons
While Manure transfer policy is without a doubt the most retarded in football world, what do you expect this shit squad of meme mercenaries will achieve in time without any changes? Especially with >mouyes in charge

>the first question is about sponsor money
classic customer

lel

They really have been unlucky though. They've dominated game after game and have not been able to put goals in or having opposition keepers play out of their minds; Randolph was incredible today. They are looking better and better and mhki and pogba are looking settled. They just need to finish and get the results

They won't achieve shit.

Banning transfers isn't gonna make them become good, it's gonna stabilise the ship.

They shouldn't be thinking about bringing success back to the club, they should be trying to stop the ship from fucking sinking first.

At least stopping transfers will allow the current squad to actually gel.

This is what happens when you hire a meme manager

the thing is, SAF's team often didn't dominate games and won anyway. It's the exact opposite to now

Lost your long term manager who had built the club and replaced him with someone you then fired 7 months later because the results weren't good enough despite the club obviously being in transition.

Burning through managers like that isn't healthy, the team is now just a team of extremely expensive mercenaries and they cannot even get proper chemistry together, Mouyes looks like a dishevelled wreck of a man still getting over the loss of his father and just in the job to collect a paycheck.

Reasonable approach, to be honest. I think the vast majority of fans and probably even people in charge are still too high on delusion to realize ship is fucking sinking in the first place.
>le unlucky meme
If anything, Manure were lucky not to concede twice in the end.

from redcafe:
I think the simple truth is that Mourinho isn't half as good anymore as he thinks he is as was blatantly clear last year at Chelsea. If you see what Conté can do with a squad that I think is weaker on almost every position than ours (except Hazard) than we just picked the wrong the coach. Which has been the problem since Fergie retirement is we keep picking the wrong man for the job.

Yeah, except the team has played pretty well this season.

posted because "only hazard" comment

and i thought we were doing bad...

>weaker on almost every position than ours
delusion

wrong OP

Daily reminder you still have Schweinsteiger under contract.

Daily reminder you pay him literally for existing.

I'm reclaiming the thread from the tripcancer. You should be thanking me

Chelsea's team is better in every position except keeper desu. Pogba would shine in Conte's Chelsea but he isn't better than their current midfielders.

Shouldn't have sacked Van Gaal, you cunts.

That 30% loss will make them drop outside their profit margin. So they'll be losing money, not making any.

At least you have le dabbing black man. Think of the revenue you'll get from all the meme merchandise. It will be much bigger than a shitty Adidas deal.

Samefag.

Literally helped by officials and FA. Why are you chucklefucks so new?

He played today.

This is wrong. Stop saying that. The TOTAL merchandise income, everything from cups to pencil cases, was £46m. That includes shirts. The deal loss is £20m. Pogba isn't going to make the club £20m.

>He played today.
no he didn't you mong

He was on the bench. That's playing.

it literally isn't

no, but they should have hired a manager with his possession style just not as negative

it just isn't la

Pretty sure he was being sarcastic about the merchandise lmao

the total is ~35m according to manures website

Wasn't pretending not to be.

2 separate points for 2 separate posts.

One was addressing United's situation, one was addressing how embarrassing it is that the fans still seem to think the amount they're spending is a good thing.

>massive refball, no penalty given for an obvious handball by rojo
>haha manure are unlucky look at my sawker knowledge brits i can repeat what some 2bit pundit says

You lost the one of greatest managers ever to grace the sport, replaced him with a proven manager yes. But moyes wasn't offering anything in the way of tactical astuteness. He doesn't win titles, he doesn't play exciting football. You fired him and this blew your trust in taking a chance on a young manager that hasn't won titles in every country on the face of the earth. One of the side effects of this is that you can't employ anyone that isn't a dinosaur. Older proven managers like Jose and Van Gaal haven't played the game in millennia so they're fast becoming obsolete tactically. Being a good coach isn't enough any more, you have to have a philosophy (one better than Van Gaal's) and a style of play, a contingency plan when things go wrong, and be able to change things on the fly during games. The last two things Jose used to do well but now his problem is creativity and that's not something you can easily change mid game.

What you should have done is pulled the trigger on Van Gaal earlier and employed one of Koeman, Poch or Klopp as they'd all been available in that time. They play attractive football and have some kind of an idea about how they want their football played.

Losing Scholes didn't help either, later in his career you had prime Carrick to perform his role, but now your creativity in the base of your midfield and tempo control can only come through Carrick who isn't fit enough to play the role as good as he used to and/or every week. The simple solution to this is to buy someone who can do this, but the state of United's dealings in the transfer window is shocking. It also doesn't help that the players that are able to perform this role at the level that United need are all playing at clubs that have champions league football and are pretty comfy there (i.e. Veratti, Weigl, Alonso, Busquets, they have no reason to move to United)

>If you see what Conté can do with a squad that I think is weaker on almost every position than ours
>weaker on almost every position

tftt

For him it is.

>You lost one of the most cheating managers ever to grace the sport

Fixed.

piss off, you don't win 13 titles in 25 years from cheating

>he believes this

1. Fergie admitted to bullying officials for favourable decisions
2. Fergie admitted 'Fergie Time' was a thing that he encouraged
3. Chairmen of the PL said that United not being in Top 4 was damaging to 'the brand', meaning if they were in there, it was lower income for them

Etc.

>le I'm British so I think I understand football meme

>bullying officials for favourable decisions
everyone does this
>thing that he encouraged
everyone encourages more extra time when they need it
>Chairmen of the PL said that United not being in Top 4
as far as I recall they were never in danger of being outside the top 4 under Fergie after about 1992 or so so they wouldn't need ref help for that

another one:
These rock solid defensive and goalkeeping efforts are killing us. It really is incredible.

I'd love to have a comparison of saves made from each of the opposition we've played vs average number of saves for the season.

I can almost guarantee if it was Man City, Arsenal or Chelsea they'd have won today via some dodgy jammy deflection or own goal. The ball is just not falling for us.
they really are deluded

How would you fix it if you were manager?
What's the best starting lineup for Man United?

fucking hell, redcafe is now my new homepage

>matchday 13 over
>United literally 11 points behind Chelsea
can't make this shit up

Problem with mu is

No holding midfielder
Bad striker
Shit fullbacks

>How would you fix it if you were manager?
honestly I can't come up with more than three players that aren't dogshit it any team

>Mourinho's men are 11 points shy of leaders Chelsea following their fifth draw in seven league matches. In that period, they have only won one game
>Manchester United have failed to win in four league games in a row at Old Trafford for the first time since February 1990
>And they have drawn four consecutive league games at their ground for the first time since December 1980

It's hopeless, the whole club is rotten on multiple levels. Tactics obviously need a huge overhaul, but >mouyes is a stubborn, bitter old man who won't let go of his prehistoric 4-2-3-1 just for the sake of his ego. Three at the back formation would get the most out of Poobag, but their poor centrebacks couldn't handle it. To get proper players, they would need to sell half of their squad and no one is going to pay a fraction of what they were bought for.
The only thing left is just watching Manure burn.

This is Mou's little horse season. It's his second year when he's going to shine. Just remember to sack him immediately after it because his third season is always terrible.

the little horse season he finished 4 points off the winners and was arguably just a striker short of winning the league

far cry from the current situation

This tbqh. He may have played possession based style which is foreign to what Manure customers are used to, but he atleast gave manure European Football.

Give him time. We're barely 1/3rd of the way through his first season.

It gets better

"I suggest patience. We are currently playing our best football since Fergie. I can't pinpoint just what the feck is happening right now, but I do not think we should change either the personnel or management."

>We are playing our best football since Fergie

My sides.

He isn't some PL newbie like Conte though, and he's already imploding and out of CL qualification spots for this season. Do you have any hopes for >mouyes at this point?

And wasted it completely the following season in a group with PSV, Wolfsburg and CSKA Moscow.

That and the incredibly boring games with Utd creating 2 chances a game at most is why he failed. He may have won the FA Cup, but take a look at the teams he beat to win it.

>We are playing our best football since Fergie
When did this happen? Must have missed it

Page 9 #332 assuming we are looking at the same thread.

Who are Juventus

I hope you're not saying that Juventus haven't had the best team in the league for the past 5 years because that would be silly

Kek, I meant when did Manure play this high quality football because I haven't seen it.

>They've dominated game after game

Here is this for the k e k s

"Last 4 home games United has been dominate and yet only 4 points."

>Dominate.

Do they know what that means?

also

"Sorry mate. Clearly by 25 games in, we'll have pulled it all back, and be competing for the league."

Red cafe is going to be my one stop shop after every Manure game now!

>le Fergie is a cheat meme

Comedy

is it time for Giggsy yet?

this would be terrible for me as an ABU

1. he's the only player associated with Man U that I like
2. he would probably be a good manager

>americans

>paki customers

>he would probably be a good manager
I don't understand this delusion. He has zero experience. Even managers who supposedly "jumped" into management like Poop or Zidane had a few years in the reserves, and arguably this would be tougher than lel liga

>third worlders

no manager is better than a bad manager

right and I'm saying Giggs would be a shit manager

>not knowing post-commie countries are the definition of second world
t. paki taxi driver

>liking Giggs
>thinking he would be a good manager

dude, what?

Ive been to Slovakia and it was quite the shithole, if that's second world then I'd hate to see what third world is.

>I'd hate to see what third world is
take the tube to Tower Hamlets

>watching Hostel means being to Slovakia
Go eat some curry from Manchester United™ plate kek

No you haven't.

I think he's a level-headed guy who would just pick the best 11 and choose the formation according to that rather than attempt to instill some meme "philosophy"

I think he would provide an unmitigated boost in the short term, a la Roberto Di Matteo

I'm sorry I insulted your country champ, you can always move out if you save up enough pocket money

Mate I wish I haven't

>80 posts destroying Man U
>irrefutable evidence of what a joke they've become
>know you can't argue because you will get demolished by logic and empirical evidence
>pathetic, limp-wristed Sup Forums-posting ad hominems

god I love being an ABU, stay mad faggot

>moving out of your country
Typical paki mentality

I didn't even want Mou to begin with. As far as I'm concerned my club is currently being hijacked by jews (the owners) and Portuguese twats (Mou and Faria) who don't know how to run a football team anymore

Di Matteo was absolute dogshit in the league, in his first season he finished 6th which was their lowest finish since 2002. He somehow stumbled and fluked into a CL win that was really spearheaded by internal coaching from Terry, Ivanovic, Lampard and Drogba

>take the piss out of americans thinking giggs is a good guy and a good manager
>somehow Im a manure fan

KEK

they play Spurs at home next
another loss/draw

I think the point of the post is that they are playing better now under Mouyes than either Moyes or van Gaal. Not that they are playing at the same level as under Fergie.

Still debatable; their league position isn't any better under Mouyes but they are playing a bit more attractively and I don't actually fall asleep watching one of their games lately.

I dunno if I'd call the guy who had an affair with his brother's wife level headed. People, even footballers, probably won't accept a guy like that as a boss.

And also the way he repeatedly publicly undermined both Moyes and LvG shows that he's not a team player but a dick who is out for himself. I'd dislike him even if I wasn't an ABU.

there's no point arguing because giggs will never be a manager, this is completely asinine. it's like arguing if David Duke would make a good US president

Well said la

What does tftt mean?
Excuse my ignorance

It depends on what you consider "better football". It's more fast paced now, but also obviously outdated and frustrating when there's no plan B. Van Gaal had a vision, whatever it was supposed to be, and implemented youth in the system. Mouyes does the same thing the gave Chelsea terminal cancer last year.