Getting drug tested by my parents on Sunday, what's your best tips to pass a drug test?

Getting drug tested by my parents on Sunday, what's your best tips to pass a drug test?
>inb4 underage.b
>17 this month, but I have some overprotective parents who've been drug testing me since last year
>I've been passing them by getting a bottle of one of my mates piss whose clean and using that
>for about 8 months got away with it
>end of February got a surprise drug test and failed it
>Got 'grounded' couldn't leave the house after 7 but I just ate my dinnner then snuck out
>punishment finished cos I got some more piss and passed a drug test a couple weeks after
>2 weeks ago ANOTHER surprise drug test
>luckily had a bit of piss left
>parents started watching me from behind cos they've seen me stoned loads and I've been passing all the drug tests pretty much so they think I'm cheating
>Silently and stealthily place piss bottle in front of pants so when I get searched (started getting fucking searched by my parents, more ruthless than north korean anti terrorist unit) nothing could be found
>acted like I was taking a piss but was pouring the bottle at crotch level, finished but didn't put the bottle back in enough, not stashed enough
>leave, my mum clocked the massive poking out thing on my top, she tried grabbing for it and I went full tard
>"Stop tryna grab my dick you fucking freak"
>tried grounding me but fuck playing along again, just left
>came back around 10, my dad was there (theyre both divorced)
>said I'm living with him now even though it was usually 3 days at my dads 4 at my mums since I was a kid
>says hes driving me to college and when I come back to get the bus an extra hour to his work and revise next to him until he takes me home
>only allowed to leave for college
>fuckthat.png
>literally first day leave early so he doesnt try and drive me, stay out til 12
>come back and he kicks me out and says go to your mums
>These parents are freaks that wont kick me out fully and would just try and ground me and shit
moar?

Holy shit faggot. Just stop smoking you fucking cancer. Is it so hard to admit that they are looking out for your life in the long run?

moar.
>now I was planning on just staying out for a few weeks on the streets until my brother moved out and into a flat
>mum pretty much begs me to go to her house
>decide fuck it and go
>sleep there for a couple nights, says Ive got to be in at 8 so I come in for 8 for a couple days
>now Ive been here a couple days shes saying its going to 7 and im getting drug tested on sunday
>smoked on average 3g a day for the last year
>used to be a beta fag who browsed Sup Forums 24/7, that stopped about 2015
>now I smoke weed I chill on road, got fuckin loads of friends
>real friends
>not imaginary friends
>have a gf
>actually really popular for once
>finally not a beta fag
>so im not stopping smoking weed now
>in college as well (16-18 place you go before college for ameritards)
>takin physics maths psychology and law, getting A's
>parents are conservative freaks, think weed is ruining my life despite all this
now I've got a couple of options and I've come back to Sup Forums for advice cos I'm not telling my mates im fuckin grounded ahahah


1) Leave home, try get a place to stay until my brother moves out and into his flat (that'll probably be around May) means sleepin on the streets for a couple weeks but I'll allow it, got exams in may tho so need a place by then

2)stay at home and find a way to pass these drug tests, im not gonna quit weed btw so thats not an option

If option 1) i probably need a part time job, I'd prefer option 1 but either option are ok, parents say theyd only relent when me and my brother (whos 19 and has an apprenticeship) completely stop smoking weed 100% and thats not happening, apparently punishments are gonna get worse until they stop, but idgaf ill just leave if I have to
So wat do?

Yeah they probably are but I'm not losing all my social life, friends lifestyle and everything so I can appease my parents faggot, plus I know better about my own life than them, theyre only looking out for my future life, I'm looking out for my college and social life too, plus they know fuck all, they haven't smoked weed or had any experiances with it ever so they think its like heroin, they just dont know

Unless it's a lab test just drink a fuck ton of water (like a cup of water per half hour for four or five hours prior to the test, even more for better chances) and take vitamin B12. The vitamin makes your piss look like piss and the extra water dilutes it enough so the pot doesn't show up. If they send it to a lab tho it's easy to tell it's adulterated and you'll be fucked, so this only works with the at home strip tests you buy at your local drug store.

its all home strip test but I smoke a lot of weed, if your sure this will work I'll try it, how much water you talking?

Friend of mine swears on a LOT of really bad energy drink the day before drug tests. In the UK we have one called Rockstar which tastes pretty damn american (read: nasty liquid sugar and chemical) that he says works best but I suppose anything that makes you pee TONS would work.
Tons tho.

Also you probably reek of weed, even if you don't think you do.

>best tips to pass a drug test
Don't take drugs.

>Getting drug tested by my parents on Sunday

I'll make this simple, you're parents sound like freaks, this is abnormal. You need to just sever contact with them and move out, no birthdays, no Xmas, nothing, forget they exist. You'll be far better off.

I forget the exact amount, but at least 10 cups to be safe. If it's not until Sunday you should stop smoking like three or four days prior for this trick to work, no matter how much water you drink (btw don't go crazy on drinking too much water as you can literally die from it) it won't work if you smoke the day of.

This all depends on your metabolism too; if you start working out heavily and get your body fat % down then pot passes through your system quicker as it's fat soluble.

This.

I probably do stink of bud but as long as they cant prove anything i dont have to do a thing,
rockstar is dirty trust me i might just go for the 35p energy drinks, only real eurofags know this don.

I'll try all these, get loads of energy drinks, probably die of a heart attack but it'll be worth it

If you're 17 how are you attending college? Pseo? How about focus on your future now and follow their rules if you want to bum with your parents. When you move out for uni, smoke and party away. Unless you're paying all the bills/have the mortgage in your name you have no grounds to be doing illegal shit under their home/responsibility. If you can't handle being responsible then use substances that aren't tested for. Kratom is a decent cheap high.

>I'm not losing all my social life, friends lifestyle and everything so I can appease my parents faggot
>I need to be able to smoke weed to have friends

Jesus christ you're the biggest fucking retard I've seen all day

Hell yeah more
What's state you in bro

Hope they ground you well into your 50s because lets face it, if you cant stop doing drugs long enough to move out, you wont get shit done.

This.

>In the UK we have one called Rockstar

Rockstar energy drinks are popular in america too dipshit. Stop trying to act like you're special.

/thread
OP is a fucking no good fag.
Get a job and listen to your parents.

Dude you should seriously reconsider that smoking weed thing. 3g a day is a fuckton already and despite what you may have read and believed due to confirmation bias weed has very negative side effects, most of which are psychological so people think it's a non-issue.

I'm not telling you to quit forever. I like weed. Just stop smoking weed until May. Don't worry about your social ramifications, real friends will maybe try to group pressure you at first but actually admire you for your strength to quit the pot for some time. Don't tell them you do it for your parents, tell them you kinda feel like proving yourself that you can do it, and they will be in awe of you, I promise.

Re your parents, tell them openly and calmly what you believe and think, then tell them that you accept that you cannot smoke but that they have to understand that they are driving you away with their freak behaviour. Ask them for a calm and neutral discussion. Prepare for it. Don't freak out even if they do. Be the adult, so to say.

Under no circumstance should you even consider hitting the streets. not only is it very risky, but you will have a lot of difficulty getting out of it again.

Frankly if you cannot do this, you should consider whether you may indeed have a problem that you are currently denying, in which case I would suggest to follow this advise even more.

>inb4 underage b&
newfag detected, under 18 poster, can we get this faggot banned?

This
Stop being a degenerate and get your life on track before you're 35 and flipping burgers

>I'm 17 and smoke weed constantly
>my parents have regularly drug tested me but despite this knowledge I continue to smoke weed

Give me 1 good reason why you still keep smoking, because I cannot think of a single one and it's clear you're being a fucking idiot about this whole thing.

Enjoy your AIDS.

Your parents drug test you?

WTF? This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

Having said that, you're smoking way too much and it will catch up with you some day. Mentally, I mean.

It certainly did with me.

How is it ridiculous for parents to drug test their teenage son?

report him faggot

Fucking hell, I didn't realize faggots like you existed. Just stop smoking you dumb cunt.

your immaturity is so blatantly obvious. quit being a little spoiled shit and face reality. this "social life" and "friends" you hold so dear above your "future self" is such a fucking pitiful delusion that it's actually sickening.

You talk about how your parents are inexperienced, in what? doing drugs? get fucking real, they've lived your pathetic little life 3 times over learn some fucking humility you loser.

Cranberry, jalapeƱo, apple cider vinegar, habanero.... jogging, and lots of water

Let's say I'm not gonna stop smoking weed cos I cant be arsed turning back into a social tard with no friends (tried telling my parents but they said real friends would support you, bitch real friends only want other friends who can put to for weed, so do I)

Trust me I fucking want to, need a part time job first, obviously still love my parents but can't handle this sort of shit, saying I should kip on the streets for a couple weeks?

I'll probably not smoke on saturday and sunday and drink loads of water, if it doesn't work then move out but thanks anyway, definitely worth a shot