ITT: Times you acted like the Joker

>"Employees must wash hands"
>wash my hands even though I'm unemployed

THROW AWAY THE KEY

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youtube.com/watch?v=8JIZmZKG7bE
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>on Microsoft word
>paper clip asks if I want help
>say no
>I actually did

>shake well before using
>shake it pretty well

>Paying at the counter in a convince store
>"Take a penny, leave a penny"
>I just put a quarter and leave
NOBODY CALL MOM

you guys are all so extrem, the only thing i ever did was burning seven kids alive. :(

> check "I've read and agree with the terms and conditions" though I didn't
> WON'T EVEN USE THE ACCOUNT

>Go to the local library
>Set the default search engine to Ask.com
I'M JUST TO HOT TO HANDLE

>Sign says to push door
>I pull it

>buy two watermelon halfs
>glue them together
>have a whole melon now

CAN'T STOPER THE JOKER

>donation jar asking for one dollarydoo
>put in two
Feeling pretty devilish

> Agrees to complimentary Amazon Prime trial month
> Cancels it the 29th

>At McDonald's with mom
>dip my fries in my thickshake when she's not looking

SOMEBODY STOP ME

>watching cartoons
>dad tells me to turn that gay shit down
>increase the volume instead

HAHAHAHA I HOPE HE DOESN'T BEAT ME

>Order the breakfast platter at McDonalds
>Combine the sausage patty, eggs, hash brown, and biscuit
HOW FAR CAN I GO?

>Price tag says $4.50
>Give the cashier a $5 and tell her to keep the change
TWISTED FUCKING PSYCHOPATH

>15 items or less self-checkout aisle
>bring 16 items
>finish and set in spanish for next customer
>leave receipt

DAMAGED

>set it in Spanish
You have to go back

>go to El Cine
>ticket costs like 40 pesos
>when you show your student card they give you a 28 pesos discount
>just had 28 with me
>ask for a ticket to Tarzan or whatever, with student discount
>lady says the discount only applies on non-summer season
>say I don't have enough for a regular ticket as I'm about to leave
>stops me and says this is the last time they will let me in like this, guess bussiness is not as good as it was
>pay less than all the other cucks in line
JAJAJA all part of my PLAN MAESTRO

>Force mummy to cut the crust off my tendie sandwich
>Actually don't mind the crust

B R O K E N

>have opportunity to kiss girl of my dreams
>don't, and regret it for years
HEEE HEEEE HOO HOO

>cat food says cat food on it
>give it to my rabbit

INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE

>phone tells me to recharge
>I throw the phone in the toilet

THE WORLD MUST NEVER KNOW HOW FUCKING PSYCHOTIC I AM

>have to poop
>pee instead

>School zone requires you to go 15mph when children are present
>It's summer, so no children
>I go 10mph
THESE WOUNDS WON'T HEAL

>go see the new jokie movie
>wear my purple joker suit to the cinema
>all the monkers there freaks

LIVIN' LA VIDA LOCA

sounds like you're throwing your life down the toilet as well

>Hyped as major character in new capeshit movie
>Barely even show up

SOMEBODY STOP ME!

Dude this is too far

>walking through public gardens
>sign says "please take your rubbish home with you"
>i take it home, and RECYCLE IT

NO SURVIVORS

>Waitress asks me what I'd like to eat.

>"What if the American government asked starving African kids what they wanted to eat? HMM? Would there still be world hunger? HMM?"

>Waitress sighs and walks away

SOMEBODY STOP ME

>Call my citys help line to ask a question
>Press 1 for English, Appuyez sur 2 pour le français
>Press 2 even thou I don't speak French
CALL THE POLICE THERES A MADMAN AROUND

>my latest capekino gets hilariously bad reviews
>go online to post impotent complains about SJWs

Trump 2016

>tell a guy it would be extremely painful in a dubious way, leading him to believe I was referring to me
>he falls for it and says I'm a big guy
>triumphantly say "for you" afterwars
YEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>do voice acting for a friends animated short film
>they dont think its good enough and cut my part out

JUST LIKE THE JOKER

>be me
>went on Disney.com without my parent's permission

Hahah it's a reddit thread hahah xdxd

>tell Sup Forums i'll watch the new capeshit movie
>watch godzilla instead
HAHAHAHA HIHIHIHIHI HOHO

>mail arrives for guy who lived here before me
>open it

MAILMAN IS GOING TO QUESTION REALITY

>go to polling booth for american election
>vote for trump
HIOAIOHIOAIHOAIHO YOU CANT CONSTRAIN ME

youtube.com/watch?v=8JIZmZKG7bE

>Buying bulk bag of cashew nuts which are $4.99 a pound.
>Self-checkout using code for peanut nuts which are $2.99 a pound.

YOU BET I'M NUTS BUCKO

i'm telling on you

>playing dance dance revolution
>use a controller instead of a mat

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

>approaching green light
>slow down until it turns yellow
>floor it through the yellow light
>forced the guy tailgating me to wait

TAKE THAT, BATMAN

>use coupon to get 2 dollars off a meal
>they don't take the coupon
>use the same coupon at the same place 10 more times until they finally ask for the coupon

TOO HOT FOR HELL TO HANDLE

ITT: absolute madmen

>Go to 7/11
>At 12
madman
a
d
m
a
n

Do Americans piss on there hands?

>approach roundabout
>don't shift down to second gear
>stay in third

FUCK THE POLICE

>friend wants to watch a Star Wars movie
>put in Episode 2

YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER!

>take friend's phone
>change language to Deutsch

HE DOESN'T SPEAK A WORD OF GERMAN HAHA

youtube.com/watch?v=-7eA_TyogeU

>picking up food for friends
>one asks for no pickles on their burger
>i ask for extra pickles on his burger
>give it to him, tell him "i asked for no pickles man"

I GAVE HIS SODA EXTRA ICE TOO HAHAHAAHAHAH

Hehehe you are learning well, my apprentice

fuck that kike

>friend asks me for help in a game
>tell him i've never played it
>i'm actually very good at the game

NOBODY CAN HELP YOU NOW

>say I'm going to go to a party
>don't

LOCK ME UP

>friends come over to watch tv
>put on a senate hearing

THIS IS NO DEMOCRACY

>it was during February

>two candy bars fall out of the vending machine
>i don't tell the proprietor

D A M A G E D
A
M
A
G
E
D

>return cans for the 10 cent deposit
>bought in a state without a deposit

CAN-T STOP ME!

Do Mexicans ever spell correctly?

>make a thread
>leave thread instantly
>a bunch of anons talking to nobody

I'M DANGEROUS

>see anons get accosted for imgur filenames
>start copying filenames of gross images from imgur and renaming my images with them
>anyone who goes to the imgur URL to see if it's from there is in for a surprise
HAHAHAHAHOOHOO

>give files tumblr filenames
>people accuse me of being from tumblr

UNSTOPPABLE

i been rused by the poop

I wouldn't know.

My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Bernie to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Kentucky???? This is so fucked.

>customer asks for a couple of ice cubes in their drink
>I only put in one

THE RAGE CAN'T BE CONTAINED

TWISTED FIRESTARTER

>customer asks for a glass of water
>give them a glass with nothing but ice cubes

TECHNICALLY INSANE

>post about how i'm going to get dubs
>don't actually want dubs
>mention that in my post

I WIN EITHER WAY HAHAHAHAHAH

Do Americans ever spell correctly? Nope.

>post pic along with my post
>didn't even look at the pic before posting

I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE MYSELF

>pepe thread on front page
>bump the one on page 10
JANNYS GONNA FREAK

This

>torrent
>don't seed

> on the train
> empty seat opposite
> put feet up on empty seat
> nice and comfy
> guard comes along and tells me to take my feet off the seat
> remove feet from seat
> guard leaves and I put my feet back on the seat

NO PRISON CAN HOLD ME

Bump

>front page

>buying pick n mix
>eat a few before paying

I AM THE AVALANCHE ON THE MOUNTAIN OF SOCIETY

>siedź w szkole
>zesraj się i śmerdzi
>ludzie szukają winnego
>powiedz że to nie ty i zrzuć winę na tego rudego spierdoxa
>tak naprawdę to ty się spierdziałeś
ALE BYŁO

>Go to Sup Forums
>Get a key for a shovelware game
>DON'T PLAY AT ALL

haha jak smieszno prawie jak na 4czenie

>see candy bars in line at grocery store
>put the snickers bars in the 3 musketeers box and vice-versa

#REKT #OVERTHELINE #NOSTRINGSONME

>Trump wants to make America great again
>Vote for Hillary instead

I'M GOING TO HELL AHAHAHA

>Family all gathered around the table for dinner
>Do a silent but deadly
>Blame it on the dog

AH AH AH AHHHHHH

Is that you, Linkara?

>use catalog
>still talk about page numbers anyway
LET THE DOWNVOTING COMMENCE

>tell friend i got us tickets for an early screening for Suicide Squad
>he cant contain his excitement and asks when?
>next monday at 12.00
HA! HA! HA! HA!

Canadians should fuck off.

>Get a role as the most iconic comic book villain
>Act like the character on set to get into character
>Barely any of my scenes get to the movie

A HA HA HA HA HA

>People never change
>I actually do

FUCK YOU TREVOR

>take a piss
>leave seat up

moms not gunna be pleased!

>I subverted some rule or social convention in a manner so mundane or subtle that no one noticed or cared and then deliberately exaggerated the eccentricity and consequence of this act online for comedic effect
JUST WATCHIN THE WORLD BURN, BABY

Saw them in june. Excellent show

Pleb

>Waitress sighs and walks away
i fucking died

>live with mom
>"don't try this at home kids"
>try it at dad's place
YO QUIERO TACO BELL

>sign says piso mojado
>I take care not to slip
>I'm not even Mexican!

CLUB CAN'T HANDLE ME