I've been reading the script for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. I read the synopsis before...

I've been reading the script for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. I read the synopsis before, and it sounded atrocious, but now that I'm reading the actual script, it's actually not bad. It's a little fan-fictiony, but it's very cute and whimsical in places. I like the friendship Scorpius Malfoy and Albus Potter have, and it also does some interesting things fan-fiction tends not to do. The dad-son drama of Harry and his son is also good. It's actually pretty rare to see a positive portrayal of white, straight young male friendship in media, so I am happy about that. And we all know tumblr/SJWs love to squee at white misunderstood boys having borderline gay/cute friendships, so they can be pleased with that too. The dialogue shines through in places in a style not very reminiscent of Rowling, to its credit, and I suspect that is Thorne's writing.

The play should never have attracted social media attention for the retards casting a black Hermione; it put a damper in an otherwise decent effort.

Overall I give it about a 7/10. I think it'd be fun for schools to perform as a school play, but I don't think it could be adapted as a movie.

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fuck off you zounderkite.
story ended at 7th part. she herself said there will be nothing more.
now she says this is the last book.
after 7 th part, use your imagination.

>it's actually not bad

>The dialogue shines through in places

>it put a damper in an otherwise decent effort

That's fine for kids/teens.

>It's a little fan-fictiony

...

>a style not very reminiscent of Rowling, to its credit, and I suspect that is Thorne's writing

>Ron the Quipmaster quipping

Q U I P S T A G E K I N O

>it also does some interesting things fan-fiction tends not to do

I want to fuck Luna Lovegood's ass and then have her shart my gallons of cum onto a sumptious, shining, silver platter that Hermoinie then thirstily drinks from as it is her only source of nourishment (me and Luna have locked her up in a dungeon that mimics Harry's upbringing by the Dursleys)

Nothing more, nothing less, only the best.

>Overall I give it about a 7/10
That's a big score

>little fan-fictiony
You know part of me thinks that was intentional, it has Harry and Draco's kids as butt-buddies, a romance teased between Draco and Hermionies kids, Voldemort's daughter and time turners, if it wasn't done on purpose it's pretty impressive how many tropes they hit on.

>you've grown older
>I have

Isn't Snape dead, and a forever alone, and dead in real life?

Time-turners out of the wazoo

...

>Scorpius confirmed for small penis

>SNAPE QUIPS

absolutely severused

>butt-buddies

Hey now, you've never been jealous of a m8 for having a gf and spending more time with her senpai?

He's a big guy

>6 million pumpkin pies

Oyy vey

Never had one give me a heartfelt deceleration of love either... Now I'm sad.

He forgot to add "no homo"

But it's a retcon. It totally changed the rules of the time turner (you could only get back 5 hours into the past).
Not to mention Voldemort fucking Bellatrix to have a child because that's what "immortal" and narcissistic Voldemort would do.

An unrealistic film for an unrealistic time.

This can't be real.

THIS CAN'T BE REAL.

>tfw Scorpius asked Rose out at the end

>six million Pumpkin Pasties

>THIS CAN'T BE REAL.
That scene takes place on TOP of the Hogwarts Express by the way

Didn't you read the shit? That's a special time turner upgraded from illegal regular time turners that had progressed in wizard tech in the 22 years since they destroyed them.

It's an asspull but it's not a plothole.

I was impressed at how much of an unlikable bitch they made Rose. Albus and Scorpius love is pure though.

...

what the fuck is this writing

>Albus and Scorpius love is pure though
They're perfect

...

...

...

jesus these names
albus severus
scorpius
delphi
lmao you idiots

The "stable time loop" rule is fucking retarded. If it works like that it implies the universe is completely deterministic. Time travel is already going to be fucking retarded 99.9999% of the time, and Rowling is an idiot on top of that.
>what if someone notices your past self time traveling and stops you from time traveling in the present
>what if something goes wrong while you're time traveling and you realize you must stop yourself from time traveling
>what if you travel back in time with the express purpose of stopping yourself from time traveling
>what if you see yourself time traveling and decide to do something completely different than what you saw yourself do when you actually time travel
>what if you steal the time turner from yourself in the past and hide it before you can time travel
>what if you use it to travel again after stealing it in the past

mate you really want wizards called Bob and Stacy

Not necessarily, but there is a point where it gets gimmicky.

You've answered your own question. You wouldn't be able to.

harry and ron

>I don't think Voldemort is capable of having a kind son

Doesn't this massively clash with the views on Mudbloods... Or is it okay when your racist to bad guys?

Ronald Bilius Weasely?
Harry Potter's mother was Muggle born, you dolt.
Also, both Potter and Weasely are on the level of ridiculous ancient 'Aerith' tier name in that world, because they're pureblood surnames.

It's probably not cos he's a snakeman racist, it's because he can't love a kid.

explain it however your autism allows
it's still cringe tier and you know it "m8"

Potter is a normal surname.

>Scorpius doesn't tell Albus that

>You wouldn't be able to.
And that's the problem. Why wouldn't you be able to? What's stopping someone from making a decision that causes a paradox?

In that canon it's actually a pureblood surname that leaked into the Muggle world because some of Harry's ancestors blanda'd upp.

I know where this is going.

Why would Voldemort want a child?

Its already happened.

Have you not seen Harry Potter 3.

Not only is it not Sup Forums related it still manages to be one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Personally I like the prequel

youtube.com/watch?v=H6x0NwvRHB8

>Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Nose
>Harry Potter and the GasChamber of Secrets
>Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Auschwitz
>Harry Potter and the Goebbels of Fire
>Harry Potter and the Oven of the Fascists
>Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Populist
>Harry Potter and the Deathly Holocaust