Be american

>be american
>need to shart
>drive to walmart
>BRAAAAAP
>shart
>people clap
>walk outside and get shot

Not bad but it could use some refining.

DESIGNATED

SHITTING

MARTS

sharting*

>be american
>drive to walmart
>need to fart
>oh shit it's fart
>time to take the cart and depart

>time to take the cart and depart
neat

>be american
>drive to fridge
>put shoes inside
>microwave salt
>die of diabetes

>walk outside
unreal, those fat fuckshartisans don't even know how to walk

>be German
>go to mosque
end of story
tahkns for reading :)

at least they have mosques

>get shot
>shart inevitably

>be Japanese
>work for eternity

>be american
>go to go to designated shitting mart
>forgot to bring shitting license
>get shot by the police
>die while sharting
>corpse gets 10 years of prison

>Be american
>jew dr circumcise you by shooting your dick
>parents tip him 2000 dollars that you will pay once you turn 18

>BE AMERICAN
>27 March
>NOTHINGTOCELEBRATETODAY
>Wake up to the absolute silence that is the entire country
>Everyone's just living as usual
>Eat the entire food supply of your city for breakfeast making as little noise as possible
>Walk outside on tip toes
>silence.wav
>THERESNOTHINGTOCELEBRATEAFTERALL
>Feel the stomach plead for liberation
>Decide it's time to visit the mart
>Absolutely noone enjoying anything or celebrating and such
>REGULARDAYISNTIT
>Enter the mart, pull down pants as gently as possible
>Control the descent of every shart so it's not to make noise
>Pull up pants without cleaning as usual
>Go home
>Get shot by a gun using silencer
>Die quietly
>Last thing that passes through you mind is that there are countries that are celebrating some weird ass holiday right now
>"dog bless berica"

Absolutely no reason to commemorate or celebrate anything on such a normal and devoid of special occasions day.

why don't americans celebrate anything

>pull down pants
0/10 entirely inaccurate

>be american
>microwave bottled water to make coffee

>be American
>ride scooter on thruway to mart
>shart in mart
>scooter leaves shit tracks on thruway on drive back
>get shot

>it wasn't smart
>to depart for the mart
>when i had to shart
>in my cart
>with a bad heart

>be Swede
>need to shart but ass to full of dicks

>needing a license to shart
Not in freedomland buddy

you say it like it's a good thing

>implying it is not a good thing compared to sharting

>be american

>that feel when too bad at drawing and animating to portray these greentexts

Microwaves....salt....puts shoes in fridge...what the fuck..?

>wanting your salt to spoil

What.jpg

BBBRRRRRAAAPPPPPPP

the microwave waves out the micros to prevent spoilage

That or causes ionisation.

>be American
>put salt in the fridge
>microwave shoes, eggs, butter and AR-15 bullets to prevent spoilage
>forget to microwave youself
>die of rotting away
Such is life in america