General feel/ life experience thread
>Your effort is mostly worthless, why bother?
>Just ask yourself: what have you done to yourself, you used to be smart, intelligent and you were planning to stay that way.
>Growing up sucks
>
>Alcohol and sex are overrated
>
>There're too little people alike as you. You may feel special, but the fact is no one cares
What about you Sup Forumsros, how has life been hitting you?
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Bump
Shit sickness causes constant annoying pain.
But it actually thought me a valuable lesson:
> enjoy the small things in life
It can be 100x worse, and when I didn't have this sickness I was complaining about something else.
It's all about perspective.
When it started it was a few weeks of pure hell. Now it's considerably less and only annoying.
It has made me care less, expect less, and complain less about life.
I don't care if I don't wake up, but I'm also looking foward to the next day.
...
I had always been nihilist.
Had a shitty relationship early on and after i was kind if numbed out emotionally and didnt care about much. Ive been a job jumper, a one night stander, and flinger, ive been homeless (for a very short time due to unforeseen crazy unfortunate circumstances), im a uni drop out, done every job from assembly line peon to management. Had and lost friends.. But still that numb feeling.
I remember wanting to die but not in a suicidal or depressed way. I thought "well this place sucks but its alright at times i guess. Cant wait to die though, just to see whats next." because i genuinely believed that life was just this bland place with some ups and downs and i found it generally bland, boring and the good wasnt worth the bad.
Fast forward. Im in a 4 year relationship, it's perfect. I have 2 doggos i love more than anything in the world. I have a job i love and i make great money, the bullshit rolls off my back and the good times and moments are easy to come by.
And now? Im fucking terrified of death. I go to the doctor like twice a month because i always have some new thing. The doctor always finds its some bad life habit which i fix.
Im now healthier and stronger, and as a result, even more scared to die!
I really wish i could shake this because my life would be 10/10 if not for the part where every little pain or ache or head cold feels like my last day on earth.
The irony. Oh the irony. Pretty sure therapy is in order.
...
OP here, thank you so much for replying. I was just about to take my guitar in bed to sing myself to sleep.
I thought this thread was gonna die
If it help you to appreciate life more, then it might have been a good thing...
what sickness?
ayyyyyy pump
Damn been feeling the same way OP
What led to this change in you?
OP here, Im just going to fucking kill myself
This actually put a smile on my face
What happened?
I like your dubs, but fuck you
no one cares what's bothering me im gonna either get my shit together or wont either way small things in life will still make me happy like my dog, friends and whats left of my family
From the user with the pics you're welcome I'm high and need this lol
>whats left of my family
lol you mak it sound like they got gunned down or something
no, fuck you
You've been raised to feel special by a single mom and/or a feminine father, plus liberal ideology your whole life.
You didn't stand a chance and you're going to feel like something is missing from your life until you die.
No-one will help you, so do it yourself, sort your fucking life out, get a role-model or two.
Literally walk up to the next manly man you see and tell him your story, be honest and he'll help you.
Just like you said. Life's shit, used to be happy and a good student can't even pass my classes now. Everyday is the same there's no excitement. Tired of fapping and listening to music all the fucking time, can't get myself to do anything good. Smoke too much weed, Got friends but can't open up to them, have to be a different person around them, better than having no one I guess. Don't know how I'm getting out of this.
Shit happens OP cheer up you can still make an illusion that things will get better in the future, wich probably wont but there is still hope.
sometimes you got to make yourself live again.
Born black strike 1
dad in prison for murder one month after my birth strike 2
mom breeds 3 more time from 3 men strike 3
moved around alot i develop social anxiety strike 4
now i develop psychosis dad mightve had schiz
im going to fuking kill myself
Valid points user but how do I deal with he hopelessness. I try to make a change but keep falling back to my old ways
>have to be a different person around them, better than having no one I guess
-->either your #1 issue or symptom of it.
stop pretending. you'll never find anything that way. be alone for 5 years if needed, but don't fucking pretend.
Which one? The better life? Or the fear of death?
Better life was from as i said being a job jumper and uni drop out.
I was always seeking better and if my life wasnt great id take any opportunity to improve. I was willing to move thousands of km to start something new, drop something that i didnt feel was working out, and learn any skill. Id try anything i hadnt experienced.
Id have been a garbage man if the opportunity arose. Those guys are well paid.
But eventually i got the combo right and it all came together. Im a huge proponent of personal accountability and changing your life around if anything is wrong.
If you mean the fear: well.. My life is good. Not a dull moment, and my dogs and spouse are everything, and i have enough money now to waste it now and then and enjoy a bit of luxury.
Its a combination of fearing leaving them behind, and also a fear of having gotten to where i worked so hard to be, and not actually being able to enjoy it.
The fear is: "hooray im not worried about love and money finally and im content. What? Rare blood cancer?!"
A few weeks ago, I dreamt that i woke up in a hospital next to this crazy blonde woman. There was an exchange of words and we we fought to the death. However it wasn't much of a fight as i easily overpowered her and brutally murdered her. I put an oxygen hose down her throat and with enough pressure her head exploded.
umm...
I second this. Been alone for months having literally no 'friends' to poison my life. Feeling a lot better with absolutely no narcotics to cheat myself with
I once dreamed I was with this beautiful girl and we were talking like a wife or something then woke up.
to reality
