/rug/ general - memes edition

Talk about rugby you fucks.

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>tfw father was captain of school's 1st XV
>tfw father played for London Irish

>tfw terrible at rugby
>tfw remember my dad watching me playing rugby at school, screaming "STOP BEING SCARED OF HIM" when I was in a ruck
>tfw know my Dad is disappointed about it but he is too loving and kind to ever express it

reason why I lift desu

Best sites for stats?

ESPN scrum's stats guru is pretty good.

youtu.be/oS9OTXqRhbE

LGTSS

>backs

will we ever recover?

The empire is finally paying off.

Soon we'll have enough darkies to consistently beat the SH

Too bad they're wank

Imagine a world without quotas.

15- Le Roux
14- Habana
13- Serfontein
12- De Allende
11- Pietersen
10- Lambie
9- De Klerk
8- Vermeulen
7- Alberts
6- Louw
5- Du Toit
4- Etzebeth
3- Nyakane
2- Du Plessis
1- Mtawarira

Racist

But they're both bad players?

>english

we only use real aussies like alalaatoaa and kurindrani

New Zealand, Fiji, Australia, you're all British and your flags prove it

So also shit? The only area where that team is clearly better is the back row. Lambie just isn't test quality

>make fun of NZ for having darkies (Maoris and other kiwis)
>precede to get a tone of non native darkies
10/10 would banter with again

So is America (Hawaii still flies a Union Jack)

Who /pro12/ here?

Really looking forward to Connacht-Treviso this weekend. November Internationals were too exciting anyway.

How do I learn what all the positions mean/do? 15 is too many.

Prop-fat, smelly manlets
Hooker-slightly less fat smelly manlet
Lock-angry shouty manmore
Blindside-Muscular, hard hitting and elite
Openside-strong, fast footballer and turnover specialist
8-big ball carrying plum
9-shouty turbo manlet
10-likes to throw and catch the rugby ball
Wingers-gay. Spend all game waiting for their chance to run down the touchline with the speed of a thousand gazelles while winking at the boys in the crowd
Centres-like wingers but uglier, so they stand further from the boys in the crowd
Fullback-likes to catch the rugby ball and run headfirst into the first opposition forward they see

You know, Rob Kearney isn't the only fullback in the world

I played rugby once
don't understand it but I like it

Execute all namefags on sight

i find this hard to believe

elite truthbombs being dropped

Tevita kuridrani's uncle (nemani nadolo's dad) played for Queensland.

It's weird that nadolo (moved to Australia at 3 months old and lived in Brisbane his whole life) ended up playing for Fiji and Tevita (moved to Australia at 16) plays for Australia.

But then again Chris kuridrani is actually tevita' cousin and nemani's brother and they all appear to have changed surnames at some point and they're also all related to Lote Tuqiri.

Fuckin' coconuts man.

>Prop-fat, smelly manlets
Yet still bigger than your average back.

Have any of their cousins got ASBOs?

How can he be that oblivious, he must've been joking surely.

gee i wonder what position you play(ed) as

I'm with you there Seamus.

There's nothing quite like the monotonous inevitability of the prolapse12.

This mixed with the NH bias made me laugh 2bh
If he was aiming for humour he got it. Trying to be factual he was fairly off with his generalisations

just a friendly reminder we got robbed on the weekend by one of the worst cases of obstruction.

As a hockey fan, I like the flow of rugby and the toughness, but it's never on TV here and I have no idea what the he'll the rules are.

Prop - big lads. Life of the party. First to get their rig out when sinking piss
Hooker - smallest of the forwards come in two flavours, either the life of the party or shy and retiring
2nd row - the statesmen of the team, their massive size matched only by their massive intellect, future statesmen
Blindside - a dumber second rower, usually a ratbag
Open side - beautiful but dumb. Gym junkie to make up for the fact that they have the natural physique of a back
No. 8 - token islander.
Halfback - usually the least detestable of the backs, but often get a bit brave over the fact that as the smallest person on the team the forwards have their back in games. When it's not game time there's a good chance they will start shit and cause disharmony in the team
Fly half - dumb as bricks. Thought they were going to make it pro so they never tried in school, now trying their hardest to maybe get the qualifications to be a PE teacher
In centre - the smartest of the backs, putting them at about prop intelligence, usually pretty agreeable, the sole reason the fly half doesn't try to chip and chase every phase.
Out centre - token islander without the work ethic. Will always drop the ball after the forwards win a tight head.
Wing - fast runner with brittle bone syndrome.
Fullback - see wing, but give them an inflated sense of importance.

>Reminder that the Irish can do no wrong and everyone else is a cheater
t. Salty Irish dude

What do you call a salty Irishman?

Chip.

Just snuck off to the toilets to take a salty Irish right now lad.

Teach backs how to scrum and we won't collapse it every single time

Shite team

15- Goosen
14- Habana
13- F.Steyn
12- Janse van Rensburg
11- Combrinck
10- M.Steyn
9- de Klerk
8- Vermeulen
7- Kriel
6- Louw
5- du Toit
4- Etzebeth
3- Redelinghuys
2- du Plessis
1- Mtawarira

>poosaders

how the fuck is a human beam supposed to get into this shit?

>there's little to no rugby on TV
>even after reading the rules and watching "101"s on youtube I can't tell what the fuck is going on most of the time
>the ref is always right
>the stands look braindead
>such a small (and elitist) fanbase that I can't find people to talk about this with

I thought it was going to be easier :^(

oh and I forgot.

>we're shit

I've been trying to get into it for 2 years now and I still don't always understand penalties 50% of the time.

it's not just the penalties.
the rucks look like a bunch of preschoolers on steroids fighting just because they can, and even when I see what I think is an obvious illegal move they never call it, and rucks make up like 40% of the gameplay.

It's not great but it tides me over until the 6 nations

Meanwhile, Portugal x Brazil tomorrow

How you holding up BRbro after yesterday's tragedy?

I'll be honest, /rug/ ain't a great place to start

maybe you need to git gud at watching

Anesthtized. There were lots of tragedies this year in country (specially parliamentary coup did in april and your consequences). Yesterday's tragedy is one more of them.

checked and rekt

look at this 12 years old getting actual qu4ds

>six nations getting bonus point system for next year
not liking this meme

From what I picked up on the radio you could still win the Grand Slam and lose the Championship?

Nah it's impossible, you get an extra 3 points for the Lamb.

It's only fair that the country who built the Empire and exported this sport to these people get to pick whoever they want.

That cunt on the left is a nippy fucker.

Would have looked like this.

Instead of.

It encourages more running rugby I guess but it could take away how special that final weekend usually is, when everyone has equal points in different parts of the table.

Points system should be changed

2 for try
1 for conversion
1 for penalty
1 for drop
3 for penal try (under new WR text)

With that points system we wouldn't have won it in 2013

Actually, m8, Fullbacks tend to have an exceptionally well judged sense of importance because we:

>Are the puppet masters, pulling all the offensive and defensive strings
>Are fast and strong enough to right the wrongs of those meatheads who miss tackles
>Have perfect hand-eye coordination, in order to pluck high balls from the heavens
>Operate with a savant level intellect in order to constantly analyse the opponents and punish accordingly
>We are also modest and often let our teammates score the pointswe carve in order to give THEM an inflated sense of self importance

t. fullcuck

I bet you wear a scrumcap too

I leave that noncy behaviour to inside centres like you who probably also wears fingerless gloves, a nike thermal undershirt and a Fangz O-Pro

I unironically used to wear those gloves and I'm pretty sure they made handling even worse in rain kek

>Not wearing undershirts

>People ITT unironically trying to claim that scrumhalf isn't by far the single most important position in the team

That's 10, especially if he's goalkicker too

Outside center is the most important for me
He did all the tackling for me
What a hero
t. winger

1 point for within 7? and 1 point for 4 tries or more? or is the french thing of 3 try difference.

The French system is even more of a meme, it's the normal one being used

I dunno. It always used to shit me off how teams like the Chiefs in SR got 2 points for always losing less than 7, and getting 4 try BP.

2 points is the same as a draw, yet they still lost.

One year ages ago, they got into the finals despite losing 2 more games than some South African team.

Also it sounds like it'll be whoever can pump Italy and France for the most try's next year, will win.

>Also it sounds like it'll be whoever can pump Italy and France for the most try's next year, will win.

Pumping Italy won us two consecutive Championships Bruce. I won't hear you speak ill of it.

>flow
Sure I love scrum resets too

>not the best kicker on the team
>not the best passer on the team
>not the best tackler on the team
>not the best ball runner on the team
>the best at being an agro cunt after the whistle has been blown trying to start fights
"""No"

>t. burly

No that wasn't me although I do agree with him the wings on our team keep missing tackles and the rest of the team have to cover for him.

Centre and Openside are the best positions to play by the way.

t. BBC

>London Irish

Sounds like your Dad was shit at rugby as well, you shouldn't feel too bad

HE'S LITERALLY COMING HOME BOYS

Lol "classic inbred valleys boy"
>wonky eyes
>buckteeth
>fucking chin

James 10 on the pitch and a 10 on tinder' Hook

No i'm a legit winger (who goal kicks too, fuck off 10 you can have the 22 drop outs)
I miss playing rugby so much, might take it up when I leave uni.
Is everyone a dick like at uni when it comes to rugby clubs? Don't want to drink booze out of a mans arse crack

That man looks like Jaws' gay brother.

You aren't a rugby player mate

Will England be utterly unstoppable once they cap Underhill?

>boss asks if I have forklift experience

This isn't a rugby league thread lad.

AFL and handegg is better.

But france will do good in the next 6 nations.

...

literally who

Literally Ireland's reckoning.

he's the potato blight made flesh?

Is he a big guy?

Who's responsible for the nation wide bomb scare lads?

1.England
2.Ireland
3.Scotland
4.Wales
5.France
6.Italy

BP don't affect standings and England v Ireland comes down to a dodgy reffing in the scrum in England's favour. Halfpenny gets injured against France putting him out of contention for the Lions. Scotland show /muhheart/ in the loss to England. Italy deserve to beat France but just can't manage it.

More like

1. France
2. England
3. Ireland
4. Wales
5. Italy
6. Scotland

you are

Women's 6N prediction

1. Wales
2. Ireland
3. France
4. Italy
5. England
6. Scotland

>play rugby my whole life
>crazy athletic guy whos never played before joins my club
>bigger than me, stronger than me faster than me
>within a few weeks hes objectively better than me
>within two months coach begins to start him instead of me
>now I watch him from the sideline score more tries and make better tackles than I ever have
>tfw

Feels bad man

reminder than skill is only an expression of your will to play and that failing as a player is proof of your weakness