I thought if you cut the carpet, it would grow back

I thought if you cut the carpet, it would grow back

that some hyper-jew from the desert many years ago was the son of a god who sent himself to earth to kill himself so he could save us from things he put into action

I thought the older I got the happier I would get.

I was led to believe that vaginas had teeth

That I'd actually go to hell if I told anyone about the game that my uncle and I played.

x2

LOL

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

First two posts sum up my entire childhood

Axons, pls ;_;

That everybody on earth was to serve me and was only in existence for me

That tiger meant female lion.

>That I'd actually going to be killed with all my family if I told anyone about the game that my uncle and I played.

Mom and dad were just wrestling.

>1337
Nice

That I could beat anybody in a fight just because I can beat the boys of my class. Then I met a guy who's a mma fighter

You can count on your friends.
Being good pays off.
Family means something.

That there was a god

There are only two genders.

My penis would grow

pls stop being so much edgy user

this was fake

>728311400

I was led to believe that condoms were a cork of sorts that you shoved down into your urethra to physically stop you from cumming.

1. To have a baby, you had to get married. No sex, the woman just randomly became pregnant after marrige.
2. The balls had to be shoved into the vagina along with the dick for sex.

That nobody would notice if I secretly record porn over the credits of dad's star trek Vhs

Are you being retarded on purpose?
You better not be.

Sugar and salt were made to cool down food.

that one day of us humans was equal to 7 days in a dog's life

That I wasn't a faggot

I could have superpowers if I kept trying hard enough

>the clitoris is a completely separate chamber on the way to the womb

>your balls are spare dickheads
>when you want to impregnate somebody the glans falls off and is replaced with one of the balls
>you can only have children twice
I was a weird kid.

diversity
social justice
socialism
conspiracy theories

> That pubic hair worked like velcro

Dad will probably be home tomorrow

that the day only ended when you went to sleep

Pointing out Christianity makes no sense isn't edgy, it's basic logic.

> Nigger detected

Red cars are faster because they're red

>cuckservative detected

nigger detected

I put cheesetoast in the VCR, not a belief but something funny to connect as a child

jewish conspiracies
being a democrat

I thought the song went..

Row, row, row, your boat, gently down the stream..
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is BUTTER dream.

pointing it out respectfully isn't eddy, but make it so mockingly is edgy

If I keep making stupid faces my face would get stuck.

I thought politicians cared about democracy

If I worked hard I could be anything I wanted.

That OP wasn't a faggot.

I believed communism was good

that if i flipped the middle finger too much it'll get stuck like that

being good and friendly will make people act friendly and good towards you.
that if I share my stuff with people, they will share with me too

not how it works though

you sure showed him, user!

I thought that when you go to the end of the rainbow you can found a gnome city filled with everthing gold

nice image, user

When I was six I believed that there was ethical consumption under capitalism.

explain yourself

My parents could read my mind

Lmfao

I thought coffee was made by adding milk to tea.

Hahaha what a silly believe. People can't afford to consume ethically.

Lesbians could have children by making out

Used to think there was no God and everything leading up to this moment happened by chance out of no where.

I though having bare feet meant somwthing more along the lines of if you dont want to where shoes you can where these slippers that look like a bears feet because its more comfortable.

i thought that my parents loved each other

I actually had realized my youth was the peak so I decided to make it seem longer by boring myself

I thought America was the only country with cities, and Chinese all wore those weird hats and lived on farms

...

I though that rain were angels pissing on us

kek

Do you still believe this you fucking retard?

>where not wear

I thought if I had foreplay/sex, watched r-rated movies, played m-rated games, swore, stole, etc. I'd burn in hell
Also believed Satan tried to get me a couple times

it only works if you have fire or lightning decals.

This is still true, lets be real here

Also flames too

>not still getting close encounters with Satan
It's like you're not mentally ill or something.

ESPECIALLY flames

I believed a pet marmot was a kind of bear.

So when a school mate at grade school told everyone she had a marmot for her birthday I figured they would keep it in the garden tied to a leash. I spent the next weeks looking for it as I cycled through the one-street village to school.

>used to think all dogs were male, or cats were female.
>used to think girls I had a crush on somehow could see what I was doing, even if I was alone at home or something.
>used to do this thing where if I saw someone in need of help or embarrassed or something, I could send over bits of my energy to help get them through their dilemma.

Looks like that thing from Fullmetal Alchemist

play more D3

> respectfully
> on Sup Forums
There's another one to add to your list of stupid shit you used to think as a kid.

That your eyes actually got square pupils from sitting too much in front of the screen.

>1. To have a baby, you had to get married. No sex, the woman just randomly became pregnant after marrige.
That's what Harvest Moon taught me. If you show her love a seed inside her would grow and sprout a baby.

i vividly recall flying as a child, during the night. i still have it as a valid memory, but obviously it didn't happen.

I thought the GOP could do math

I thought my race was one of the ten lost tribes of Israel.

I used to think the neighbours had cameras hidden around our house to spy on what we were doing.

>maybe they did?

I used to pull funny faces and stick my fingers up at the places I thought they'd be hidden.

That's not Link. Link is the boy. Zelda is the girl.

That something in this world might actually be "free"

I thought working meant just pulling and pushing two levers to generate money

I used to believe as a child that I would have a large decision as to who on this planet would be allowed to survive

autistic Serbian Jew double dubs

i thought that years ago things were in black and white like the movies.

I thought the world was flat. Oh silly me!

basically this

faggot

I thought life meant something, and that I wouldn't have to worry about the world because politicians are there to help us all.

I thought that niggers were people

Good stuff