Hey Sup Forums, back on Canadian thanksgiving in 2016 I attempted suicide. Sadly I failed...

Hey Sup Forums, back on Canadian thanksgiving in 2016 I attempted suicide. Sadly I failed, but since I have been having blackouts where I cannot recall what happened, and there are points where somebody will speak to me, and everything goes black, and I will only understand a few words. My already bad memory is now almost non existent. I cannot recall 99% of my days, and I cannot really remember much in general. Did I fuck up my brain?

Forgot to add I also struggle to read things sometimes, and everything blends together.

what did you do to try to kill yourself?

Do you eat and sleep regularly and in enough quantities?

Downed anti depressants.

I did for a while after my attempt, and I had the problems. Recently I have been getting nearly no sleep, and I have been struggling to eat. A lot of shit has been happening, and I am worse now then I was then.

yeah you've probably fucked up your brain

What has votten worse? Also do you take other meds?

Depression, anxiety, and abandonment issues.

no I don't take any meds anymore.

I felt like that was why, thanks lad for securing my belief.

This is the main reason I haven't attempted suicide. I'm worried I'd fuck it up and end up worse off than I am now.

The overdose wasn't that bad tbh. I threw up blood though, and I couldn't eat for a solid 24 hours. You fuck up and you become like me. Not only that but if you fuck up you actually get worse. I feel more like a failure now then before because I messed up.

My friend did something similar with his ssri's. He didnt experience what you described but it sounds like something that can happen as a result.

no problem, hope your life improves my man

I tried to get back onto my meds week or two ago, and ended up having an overwhelming amount of symptoms of a stroke. Fuck medication man.
Thank you I appreciate it, but my life gets worse, and I get worse everyday.

I think antidepressants are designed to be nearly impossible to od with, it just fucks you up. At least thats how was. IIRC he didnt even get medical attn for it but a couple years later i think any damage it might have done is mostly healed.

report your side effects to your doctor, hopefully they can put you on something better if the side effects are as bad as you say

Trust me they are not that hard to overdose on. I have accidentally overdosed on them once before, and then the attempt. I assume it depends on the type tbh.
I probably should, but I don't even leave my house anymore.

Oh grow the fuck up. I honestly hate people like you, you're only problem is that you can't man up and face the fact that life isn't supposed to be easy, it doesn't mean you should kill yourself. No one ever said life was going to be easy, so grow up and stop with this whiny bitch attitude. Sure; life is tough, but people go through tough situations every day and they don't kill themselves, they live because they want to survive, where you're just fucking pathetic and you act like you're the only one with problems. You are in control of your mind, so fucking act like it and people might actually start to respect you.

Cool story bruh, you should get a job as a professional pusher

I know there is a solid 99% chance this is serious, but I got a good chuckle.

It's easy to stay in a slump man, but really you have the power to change your situation if you want to.

It is NOT easy. But he can do it.

You must've misread the comment, of course it's easy to sit around doing nothing. How could it not be?

I've tried to get help on 3 different occasions from different professionals, and each time I get worse. The last one pretty much told me everything bad that has and will happen to me is my fault.

Well I'm glad you find it funny, it also gives me a good chuckle when I see whiny bitches like you ending themselves because they can't man up. They think the whole world revolves around them. If you had some empathy for the people around you, maybe you wouldn't be so focused on your own problems and you could actually understand that some people have it a lot worse off. But what do you do, you just act like a little bitch and try to kill yourself because you are too pathetic to actually take what life throws at you.

O i must have. Sorry user, i just get used to seeing people say all the wrong things

I don't believe everything revolves around me. I go out of my way to help people that need it. The reason I am so bad is because I pushed my own help aside for years to help others around me even though they all did something to fuck with my life. This is the first time I've ever made a thread like this on Sup Forums, and I only made it out of curiosity about the problems I was having with the blackouts.

I should get a job as a therapist; so I can tell everyone that comes to me with their depression, that it's a mental illness for bitches and it's usually a trait of people that love to play the victim card all the time like they are the only people with problems.

Become a therapist, but off yourself first.

Then you should have some self respect for helping them to begin with. If you did something kind for someone else, then you are a decent human being and you should love yourself for that, even if they did do something to fuck with your life. But don't go the opposite way and play the victim card just because they fucked you over. Just get over it and move on, life goes on and it's way too short to worry about the same people. You don't need to make it shorter either by ending yourself because that would also be a pointless endeavor. If you need help then get help, it's okay to not be okay, but don't play the victim card and convince yourself you're the only one in this world with problems, because you're not and there are people suffering everyday that would still choose life if given the choice. Don't be pathetic, depression isn't you, you can choose to overcome it by believing in yourself, so fucking do that and you'd be a lot happier.

dude you should ask at the local cinema if they need new projectors

lmao

I understand what you mean, and I respect your opinion. Sever mental illness runs in my family, and a solid 90% of my family kills themselves, or tries at least once. I know my life isn't as bad as others, but I know it is far from perfect, but I have tried for years. I appreciate your thoughts though.
That was a solid 10 meme lad.

stop being a massive idiot and I'll stop posting stupid memes

I found it funny.

I'm sure there would be no problems or lawsuits for that.

turns out I'm the massive idiot, that was directed to the "just get better" dude

It is fine lad, mistakes happen.

regarding your original post, I don't know what you should do. The right thing to do would be telling a doc about what you're experiencing if you haven't already

I apologize for coming off as aggressive to begin with, it's just I know people with depression, my ex had depression. She became cold/numb and the relationship ended because of it. But; I see the reason as to why people get depressed, and it's just so close to their reach yet they are unable to grab it, it always starts with victimizing themselves and if they could only see then they'd be able to overcome it. For example, the way you just said it runs in your family, you've already accepted your depression and have something to blame for it. That's what depressed people do, they exaggerate bad points and look at things a lot worse than they actually are, but if they only knew that it's not as bad as they think, they would be able to overcome it with ease, so I guess just seeing them not reaching for the answer which is dangling right in front of them, that just frustrates me.

My doctor is a bit clueless. I saw him the day after I attempted, and he didn't notice anything.

My depression started when I was molested at 4, it isn't something I can control. I try not to over blow the things that happened to me, because it wouldn't help. I am not very open about things that have happened to me in all honesty.

No need to apologize lad, you don't seem like a bad guy.

If that was your plan, then your brain probably wasn't hot shit to begin with.

>blah blah suicide
>wah wah, goes black
>bleh, Did I fuck up my brain?

No, it's called depression. All this is normal, you are not a special snowflake.

Go get a fucking job and expose your self to social interactions.

Good experiences and bad experiences will follow.

In 12 months you will be a difference person.

Do those simple things, if you still feel like killing your self after 12 months I'll tell you how to do it painlessly.

I use Sup Forums. the fuck do you think?