How often do you think about suicide?

How often do you think about suicide?

I don't.

I was thinking about it everyday in the past, but now it fell to maybe twice a week
nothing matters, not even life or death, so why not live and indulge myself with finest 2d waifus?

Everyday! But I don't do it because I'm not a little bitch and realize that the world doesn't revolve around me.

Your perception of the world revolves around you.

You only live for yourself in the end.

Quite often, it's worse at night. I smoke alot of weed which seems to help. What's weird to me is that despite my recurring thoughts of this nature, I lead a successful and privileged lifestyle. It doesn't make a single difference.

Once a week.
I can lose myself pretty bad in the past sometimes and god damn i was a cringelord i high school.
The fact that i was also trained and saw provocation where there was none only made it worse.
Also i couldn't hold a proper conversation with a female til i was 20.

When i get this feeling i go exercise or just take a walk in nature with chill music, then call up a friend.

Stop dwelling on the past, faggots, it's gone.
Worrying about the future won't help it either.
Doing stuff helps.

>Too often.

Do you have any idea what it is that you might be missing?

How did you change yourself?

My mother kicked me out at 19. Grandparents took me in, i could live with them, but i had to pay for food and buy pretty much everything for myself.
Had many jobs, met a bunch of people, one of my colleagues was a massive asshole at first sight, but he set me up with a girl after i comforted him because of a breakup.
low end jobs are a great place to learn social skills, but once i've had them, stagnation felt wrong, so i got back in education while working wherever i can.
Read a few books about fixing mindset.

Just put some effort in improving yourself.
You could start by ditching anime from your habits. That shit slays your social life.
Never have i met one person who admittedly watched anime and was accepted. Leave that to asians.

Just don't think about it.

Living on your own probably is great motivation to get shit done.
I just worry that I'd feel like I were rotting away in my room, isolated from the world, if I were to live on my own.
How was it for you?

Disagree on the anime bit the people I know who watch anime are a bit geeky but very social. Total normies.

How can you practice social skills, how do you know if you're making progress, if you're doing things right or wrong?

2 times a week .

Yup, plenty. But it would hurt too many people so I won't. Actually, just 2 people I really care about. Maybe, when they get older and have lives of their own I'll do it. Just not now.

:)

Who are they?

Usually at least twice a day. I doubt I'll make it to 30

Sounds like your kids or younger siblings user.

Yeah, they're 13. Really look up to me. Can't even imagine what it would do to them. Their whole lives have been pretty shit. Good kids too.

Like three or four times per day

Well first you listen to other people's conversations, find out what they care about, then use it as an icebreaker, after that you can talk about pretty much anything but don't force a subject. If you want to join a group conversation use humour. Read popular books, look up political news, sports (if you can be bothered with that, i know i'd rather do it), scientific discoveries, anything recent really.

Living on my own sucked in the first few months, but i started to listen to advices of family/friends, asked them to help me get a better chance at finding a job.
Started with hard physical 14-16 hours/day(10 hours+4-6 on the road).
That alone made me respect myself a lot more, also earned the respect of others. Got stronk too. It was a great experience, and i learned a lot but i knew i couldn't do that all my life.
Me and a friend used to go to bars, a great place to build social skills, again. Alcohol is social lube but only if you use it responsibly.

After that it all became a lot easier.
You have to put yourself through some hard shit to learn to value yourself, but once you got that, you'll be confident when it comes to people.
Sure you'll do/say some stupid shit, but you'll soon learn everyone does that.

Back to anime, sure you can watch it once you have a social life. But until then, it gives you a very twisted and delusional idea of how interaction works, even if you don't notice it on yourself.
It's really painful to watch.

You can practice your social skills by, buckle up, socializing. You know you're making progress when people are happy to see you, don't give you the weird looks, have fun with you around.
Well for starters anyways.

Have you ever felt like giving up during the progress?

Sure, i've had a few downs, but once you put effort in something even if you seem to fail, you don't want that effort to go in vain.
Then after a lot of little and a few big failures, you realize that effort only goes in vain if you off yourself.
Otherwise, it's all just more experience, more strenght.

What? Surely knowing the world doesn't revolve around you gives you more incentive to do it

How do you pick yourself up? Are you able to do that or do you just give it time?

It's very admirable, the things you describe. You seem like a strong person.

What makes that you're still feeling the way you're feeling now?

Ever since I started self harming (in this case cutting)

Dude pls don't

Get an addiction or something, just don't cut.
It's gonna haunt you for the rest of your life.

Mental scars are one thing, by cutting you're only keeping the memory of your struggles more alive.

I'm really trying but I'm already addicted

What about professional help?

Medication maybe?

Kek i've wrote a long answer to that one but accidentally refreshed the page so i'm gonna give the short one.

First you give it time and focus on doing something, be it your job/learning something new/sports, after a few times you learn that it's a temporary thing, and this realization will make it even shorter, until you barely feel bad anymore, and when you do, you know just what to do.

Anyways, i've gotta go, cheer up and build some good habits.

Thanks for talking with me user.

Good luck!

In my school you can post lettetees through a box and the councillor most likely will talk to you. There's a room called nurture where the "special people" go but I don't want to get involved

Getting help isn't always easy. You have to want the help and make some effort to get it. Sooner is better.

Idk where to start

LogIn. Rita..

Talk to a doctor. Doesn't even have to be a psychologist. If you're in school you can talk to a counselor.

I'll concider it

Thanks very much everyone toodles

There hasn't been a single day in this year of 2017 that I haven't fantasized about suicide.

I'm strongly considering arranging an "offline meeting" in the socal/IE area, I think having like-minded and supportive individuals by my side will make taking the final step easier. I might not back out so readily if I don't have to be alone in my last moments.

Actually, not that often. Usually, it's like once a week, but rarely, I've had really depressing periods where I'll just cut myself like 10 days in a row.

pics of cuts pls

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