Going to jail. I need advice on life inside via memes

Going to jail. I need advice on life inside via memes

...

Don't drop the soap

...

...

Prepare your ass.

dont let ANYONE know its your first time in jail

Fucking loser.

I prefer to attack policemen and die, than to go to the US prison.

the food is shitty, but save the celafane from sandwitches to make a rope or strangulation weapon take paperwork and roll it into a tight cone another weapon also the inmate code book usally has at leaste 2 staples these should only be used as a last resort as the book needs to be returned if they throw u in with the druggies and they offer you a bump of instant coffee take it and say thank you otherwise dont take any gifts, good luck annon, ps consider running

For how long? What did you do? How old are you?

>bump of coffee

Don't accept any favors period

OP here, going in for child molestation, if that makes any difference in jail.

also its tempting but dont drink the hooch every once in a while a bunch of ppl die from botchilism from the hooch

first
are we talking jail (short term) or prison (long term)?
also, what did you do?

Take nothing on loan, never accept favors, keep your head down, but don't back down if someone attacks you. Fight like your life is on the line and people won't jack with you. Read, exercise, and do something to improve yourself. Don't share information about your life outside or it can be leveraged against you.

your fucked, hope they put you in seg and sleep with one eye open, your about to be put in the most mortal danger of your life if you have any will to live, youl run like your life depends on it because it probably does

Going to have to spend time in county jail while I wait for trial.

It is popular to sharpen a toothbrush.

>county
ain't shit
if you are looking at something leading to worse time, better ask the inmates in county about the local prisons

don't take free stuff, you will owe something in return

we had those crinkle cut ones that i believe that to be an impossibility

...

If you have to defend yourself with a weapon remember don't just stab, twist as well. Also aim for the legs. Won't kill them and they will have a limp that everyone in there will know is becuase of you.

op i implore you, run

theres an aterey by the groin that will kill someone fast

not sure if trolling
but I wouldn't do a lot of communicating with the other inmates
you better bulk the fuck up before you go in there

Prepare your ass man.

There's a youtube channel called prison tv or something like. Had a lot of helpful tips for life in prison IMO.

I've worked in a max facility the past 5 years. COs don't run facilities, inmates and gangs do. But it is fun sometimes to remind them that we can fuck shit up whenever we want with no cause.

This.

So much this.

Don't talk to people about what you're in for, don't ask them about what they did, if you tell them anything keep it brief, don't give away any details. They can and will testify against you to cut time off their sentence, because "OP told me how he shanked Shaniqua at Shoneys"

Obviously avoid the fermoral artery. it runs down the back of the leg very close to the bone so aim for the middle of the thigh at the front.

Yeah, that sounds like a PoS CO though. There are some okay ones, but there's a few wanna be cop losers who got beat up a lot, their homelife sucks, couldn't cut it as a cop, so they became a baby sitter.

Don't drop the soap

You have a very romantic idea of fighting for your life. "This man is trying to beat my brains in, but how would I best inflict an injury that will give him a limp after he kills me."

...

Yeah, you're fucked. Your only hope is solitary confinement so you don't get murked. They'll all think you're a bitch for staying there, but you really are a target for being a pedofaggot.

pussies, i talked to everyone, made a lot of friends, everyone liked me.

you are going to be doing a lot of playing cards and watching tv or reading. welcome to jail.

RIP OP
fucking filth is gonna get fucked up
Seriously tho they will destroy you if they find out
Run and please get help to help you supress the urge to touch children

Says the narc.

Quads say OP should chop his dick off and stream it live.

I didn't mention fighting for anyone's life. This works in the UK I have seen it and the aftermath. It sends out a clear message.

yea becuase he wants murder charges on top of the other shit...
lol, where did you come from, an episode of OZ?

...

The guy that said he was OP in for child molestation either isn't OP or is trolling for exactly the type of reaction they are getting.

hope your into prolapse

Nah i saw it on prison break.

I was never given a toothbrush when I was locked up (county jail), it was basically a foam sponge with fluoride on a lollipop stick.

Always poop when you have to

this is the kind of advice that's actually worth for life in general.
this type of valuable lesson is the reason why we send so many folks to jail and also why everyone should do some time themselves.

Tattoo architectural blueprints of prison on your torso before going in.