Post any stories, scary, funny, sad, I don't care

Post any stories, scary, funny, sad, I don't care.

One time I do a dare to show everyone my peepee and I think it ok so I not scared and I do the dare but everyone laugh because they not expect me to do it and then it was a joke but I did it anyway so now is awkward but I did it and I can not undo so I own it i tell them this is my peepee is many like it but this one is mine but they dont even know what the reference is so i just look dumb and i stand there with peepee out and dont know what say so i do a spin and helicopter doesnt go down well and now someone is crying and anyways now I'm not allowed to teach any more.

I bought a vibrator and as a senior prank I had it in my ass a whole day

Once I lit a kitten on fire

My older brother took my phone and found porn, so I threw a frying pan at him

Something similar here in terms of embarassment.
>me, stupid kid in 3rd grade
>crush on prettiest girl
>sits at the same table but the opposite end
>our friend groups connected by a few mutuals
>tell friend in confidence about crush
>he tells someone else
>beg him not to
>cunt does it anyway
>freak out
>a minute later she finds out
>jump up and run over to her
>say it was joke
>beg her not to tell anyone
>in heat of the moment
>put my hand over her mouth
>barely knew this girl
>realize I fucked up
>apologize profusely
>get in trouble
>go home for the day
>never talked or heard about it again.

I have some other stories of stupid beta me from school.

>be me
>Be 18
>Just got to a party when an 8/10 girl starts flirting with me,
>We go back to my apartment and make sexes.
> She brought the condom.
> I go to bathroom to clean up while she gets clothes on
>Realize she poked hole in condom.
>Hear door open
>Run outside naked and kick her down flight of stairs
>Go inside and enjoy bowl of cereal naked
>Go to bed
>Wake up next morning to the sound of ambulance
>Ambulance worker tells me she fell down the stairs and broke three ribs

Got what she deserves
Never talk again.

Post em

>years later
>7th grade
>over the past year "best friend" has been increasingly dickish
>starts rumor that I never shower
>never change underwear
>rumor spreads like wildfire
>not weird kid, but recluse, keep to myself
>only know my group of friends
>everyone turns against me
>looking out for just me
>mom talks to school
>friend's mom is on PTA
>I get removed from class, despite not being the cause
>what the fuck
This is basically the major turning point for my whole life. So many things happen because of this that changed me and my life entirely.

Please elaborate

Another one:
>5th grade
>wear same hoodie every day
>literally looks like a fucking bowling alley carpet
>push kid nobody likes
>no particular reason
>wanted to feel alpha, etc
>two days later get called to assistant principle's office
>oh fuck I know what this is for
>after I pushed weird kid I felt really guilty
>consistently proclaim innocence
>plays tape back from security camera
>lose my shit
>bawl like a baby
>get detention for two days

>be me at 16
>First day at Subway
> Get really horny
>Go into back room and start jerking it.
>One of my coworkers comes in
>Happens to be very hot
>I turned, startled and confused and came all over her pants
>Get fired
>Get arrested

And that kids, is how I became a sex offender

>after 7th grade mom considers other schooling options
>2 weeks into 8th grade
>nothing changed
>start cyber school
>not particularly motivated at all
>most of the time blow off school work for games
>almost fail
>manage to fix it last minute
>9th grade year is a bit better
>haven't talked to any friends
>rarely leave my house
>become true neckbeard
>get into roleplaying on GTA San Andreas multiplayer
>love that shit
>remember day I started playing
>actually 5 years ago today (4/10) because it was my little brother's birthday 2012
fuck time flies
>stay up all night
>get really involved
>live life as that
>still always staying up late and fucking off school work
>can't stay awake for classes
>fail 10th grade

>skip out on 4 years of any social interaction outside roleplay
>fall out with online friends
>almost all the friends I had
>fuck this
>write suicide note
>take pills
>say goodbye to a few friends who I didn't really know that well
>2 in the morning
>they're like "wtf"
>call me nonstop
I should mention this is really just one friend, and a groupchat of his friends on Skype. They all lived a few hundred miles away in Kentucky, I lived in Pennsylvania at the time.
>finally pick up
>break down
>stupid emotional bullshit
>go to sleep
>mom comes into my room looking for my laptop
>she had taken it away because I sucked at school work

There was this girl I really liked my freshman year, I always told jokes that made her laugh, she's like an 8/10 on the autism scale, one day I finally gathered enough courage to ask her out, she said nothing, she just laughed and laughed.
I switched schools the next week

Damn... That's deep as shit

>mom finds note and pills I left
>she never comes into my room
>was just gonna get it together in the morning
>she freaks the fuck out
>I barely remember any of this
>I was half asleep
>parents make me get up
>take me to hospital
they didn't take me there as like, "you're sick etc", it was more so they didn't know what else to do and they loved me
>spend 3 hours in isolated waiting room
>sleep off and on
>ambulance takes me to other hospital
>spend 8 days in mental hospital with other people my age
>cool people except for one or two
>met a guy who had almost ODed
>we sang together all the time
>at meal time we'd sing songs for everyone and they loved it
>meet qt 3.14, she says she's lesbian
>still like her a lot
>go to behavioral school for 3 weeks after I'm released

>Be me
>Once upon a time
>The End

>behavioral school brings a lot of shit back to me
>this was in March/April of 2014
>senior year almost
>summer of that year was the best ever
>bunch of cool shit happened
>rekindled with old friends
>sang at karake all the time
>made new friends
>I redo all of 11th grade in literally a month
>finish a week before senior year
>finish high school in public school
>same school as before
>shit is different
>people remember me
>recognize me
>respect me
>what the fuck happened
>cyber school fucked me on credits
>had to do two courses in summer school to graduate with enough credits
>do it
>graduate


NICE 10/10 tell me more

I have a great amount of shame.
>Be me
>Be 10
>Have three year old sister
>Parents make me take the sister for a walk in her stroller
>Sees concrete stairs.
>Deep in my brains connections formed and my autistic self thought it would be fun for her if I pushed her down
>I let the stroller go and the girl faceplants on the concrete below. I quickly pick her up, she has a few scratches but nothing bad.
> Neighbor sees
> I don't tell my parents but a week later my mom gets a call asking if the Baby was okay.
>Never have to give her walks again
>Brother calls me "baby killer" for a year

>night before graduation day
>have doctor's appointment at 9 the next morning
>friends talk me into sneaking out
>sneak out, get high, walk around town for hours, usual shenanigans
>get home at 5 AM
>get up at 8 AM
>drive to doctor's (15 minute drive)
>don't remember driving there
>get to parking lot somehow, fuck if I know
>sleep for an hour
>don't even turn the car off
>skip appointment
>wake up
>"oh shit it's time for me to go"
>don't remember 5 minute drive between office and gas station
>get gas, full tank
>10 minutes later
>fall asleep 100%
>wake up
>coasting 40 mph towards telephone pole
>10 feet away
>oh fuck
>swerve to left, run into wooden sign instead
>car gets fucked
>call my mom
>"the windshield is just gone"
>get ticket from asshole cop for leaving the roadway
>go home and sleep

>wake up, remember I have to walk on stage tonight
>fuck
>go with friend and mom to get suit
>go to dinner
>walk on stage and get diploma not 12 hours after I almost died or got seriously fucked up
>car is totaled

...

...

>skip a few months
>parents sell house
>dad finds new house
>chattanooga tennesse
>solid 11 hour drive
>what the FUCK
>I JUST FUCKING GOT MY LIFE TOGETHER
>wasn't gonna go with them
>month before move date, get tboned
>10 PM
>going to hang out with friends, have bong in car, going to buy weed
>do illegal uturn in the middle of the suburbs
>guy literally came out of fucking no where
>boom

Cousin (f) I was really close to spent the night at my house, late at night walked out to the fridge for mid ight snack.

I was in my boxers because fuck it as I did every night but forgot female cousin in the house, on the couch. Rager going because psuedo-morning wood.

I walked passed her and she asked me what I was doing (dark room) and made me jump a bit. Told her was getting a snack. Rager is slightly draining at this point but she tells me she really likes me.

"Umm okay, I like you as well?" and she grabs my dick and begins stroking it through my boxers.

Kind of freaking out but that grip had my brain in a fog. She tells me she -really- likes me. At that point my brain gets it and I turn and face her.

She pulls my cock out and begins jerking me off. I can't believe it's happening but the pleasure silenced that voice.

She sits up and opens her covers and has me sit in them with her. She closes up and just our heads are out and she is still working my dick over.

I begin feeling her up, hands on boobs, down pants and groping her pussy. I'm all over her. She was Ina loose tank top and soft, clingy cloth pajama pants.

After a few minutes I'm close and tell her to stop because I didnt want to blow already.

Have her move around so she is leaning her back on my chest and I reach down into her pants and start fingering her and kissing her.

After a few minutes she grunts and shakes badly and squeezes her legs on my hand, thought she broke it.

She apologized as I pulled my hand away and said she came. Tell her she should finish me off.

I lay back and she turns around, my boxers are off by now. She massages my balls and starts squeezing and jerking me and I let out a heavy sigh. After a minute or so I feel it building and tell her. She keeps going and I blow the biggest load of my life and she just let's it shoot into her.

We cuddled for quite a while, made out, said sweet nothings but had to eventually go back to my room cuz taboo

>I started playing poker when I was 18
>I went to a mexican illegal casino inside an appartment and the night I was in was the only time they've ever been robbed
>I went to london and won first place in a live tournament
>I went to vegas and lost literally every time I sat to play poker
>I have a gambling problem with roullette, not with poker. But I can't play online poker anymore because I literally can't help myself to clicking the roullette tab

>fuck my life
>have to move with them
>want to die
>go through super rough patch
>almost kms again
>decide not to
>6 months later, get gf
>we've been together for a year
>things are just ok now
>if it wasn't for her I would have packed up and left when I bought my car
>have some steady friends and coworkers
>healthy relationships
>learning how to adult still
>teaching myself guitar
>have no knowledge of music theory or even how to read music
>figuring it out though
>life is getting better, ups and downs, all that shit
also earlier I said dad finds new house, I meant new job

I salute you user that was beautiful

>Be Me
>Mom died at young age
>Dad wasn't the most supportive
>Dad wanted me to do a lame job he did
>nothanks.mp3
>Say I want to take up art
>He says no
>Fuck me, emo and shit
>Do terrible in school so he can let me be artist because I don't like what I'm doing now
>Fail all classes except history
>Pick up old book on the Franco-Prussian war
>Fascinated by the military
>Fast Forward to a couple of years
>Dad has failing health and is going to die soon
>Apply for an amazing school that I love
Continue?

Si papi

yea I'm down for a life story

>School turns me down
>Fuck them, I'll show them
>Tell me that my work is not daring enough
>Say my artwork is too architectural or some shit
>They don't know true art if it hit them in the face
>They are going to regret this...
>Sign up for Architecture school
>Denied
>Butwhy.mp4?
>Because I have nothing to show, never did anything for architecture and grades flopped
>Fuck me man, emo stage part 2
>Live my life in Austria-Hungary with absolutely no money, live by selling artwork for dirt cheap
>My artwork gets me no money because of the cost of art supplies...
>Fuck it, join military because love me some history and shooty shoots
>about 1914 now
>Have not worked out and am in poor health
>Denied into the military in my own country
>Fuck you too den Austria-Hungary
>Sign up into the german military
>I get in only because they need men
>at least I got in
Continue?

10/10

Don't ask any more just post, I need to know hitle-your life story

>Train my rigorous routine daily
>Very strict and very organized
>This is drilled into my mind
>Go to front lines
>Hell on earth and everyone hates me and thinks I'm emo
>cantblamethemtbh.jpg
>Oh shit a gas attack
>Put on gas mask
>Won't fit, that's what she said
>Fucking mustache fucking fuck fuckity fuck
>Hold breath, pray to mother
>Survive but gas still lingers
>Shave like I have never shaved before
>Make this new mustache look that I find fashionable
>It makes me look like the socialist I am but at least it works
>Can't see shit though...
>Fuck whoever made this shit gas...
>OH WAIT THAT'S THE GERMANS...
>Have to go to hospital for a little
>We get pushed back but I get to go back on the frontlines.
>Go back fighting
>Finally start to grow a pair!!!
>Whoops nevermind, one of my testes get shot...
>Go back to hospital.
>Remember soldier staring me down but didn't shoot
>sucks I lost one of my balls though...
>I survive but war ends...
>meh 7.5/10, WW1 could have been better...
Continue?
Fuck you, I wanna ask because I am an attention whore

Once upon a time I took acid, I stumbled in the woods for 8 hours under my friends supervision, the only reason they didn't leave me there is because I found a dead deer and thought it was my romantic partner, they didn't say I fucked the deer, but I did do some things they didn't want to tell me,
Anyway a fun and easy trick is peeing in a bleach bottle to create mustard gas, I'm gonna go try that I advise everyone else to too

Kill yourself faggot... Oh wait you did... Nevermind

>Germany is absolutely fucked
>No money
>Try to find another military job because at least they have order.
>Nope, since germany has no money, can't get paid
>Go back to selling art
>Wait, Germany military get back to me
>They have a job
>Have to go to a worker's union and "check them out"
>Oh shit, don't arrest them but like them
>Have the same opinions as me but all are depressed as fuck
>That's it
>Get up on podium
>Scream and shout and let it all out
>They love my enthusiasm and national pride
>Say my speech was the best
>Get promoted after a few visits to secret club
>New club needs a symbol and name to represent
>Choose cool figure and design... looks like a retarded square or something.
>Whatevs, I like it
>Name ourselves the National Socialists
>Very authoritarian
>See Mussolini take over Italy
>Shit, I'll try that out
>backfires terribly
>club disbands, I get arrested
>I'm in jail for treason basically
>Fuck my life
>have a lot of time on me
>make an amazing motherfucking book of my opinions and me bitching about shit
>Many ignore it but a portion buy it and love it
Continue in a bit... got to find pictures.

>Post any stories, scary, funny, sad, I don't care.

my wife is sick so i had to take a day off at work and care for our children today. right now i'm thinking about what i cook later. maybe i make lasagne, everybody loves lasagne, right?

I mean it is a monday...

Fuck it, gonna make a thread in Sup Forums and maybe Sup Forums. meet you there

>Be in january
>Be bipolar
>Have a lot of money.
>WILD MANIA KICKS IN
>Within seconds already ordered train ticket and a hotel room in bergen
>The trip to Bergen felt like seconds
>Finally reach Bergen
>Check myself in to the hotel
>Run over to the mall
>Spend 500$ on clothes and other shit
>Meet girl i've hooked up with before
>8/10, she hot
>For some reason get her to my room
>Fuck like wildfire for hours
>When we're done with the third round she falls asleep
>Can't fucking sleep
>Sleep only 2 hours that night
>Wake up
>Fuck 2 more times
>Fast forward 3 hours
>Kisses her good bye
>Stil some hours left
>Waste another 500$ on clothes
>Catch my train and go home
>Fast forward 2 weeks, realise what i did was fucking stupid
>Really needed that money
>fuck
>get depressed